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Last updated July 17, 2024
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Blog > Common App , Essay Examples , Personal Statement > 21 College Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)
21 College Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)
Admissions officer reviewed by Ben Bousquet, M.Ed Former Vanderbilt University
Written by Alex McNeil, MA Admissions Consultant
Key Takeaway
Have you ever wondered what goes through an admissions officerâs mind as they read college essays? It's one of the questions the parents and students we work with ask us the most.
Weâve asked our team of former admissions officers to read through the essays, analyze them, offer editing ideas, and assign them grades.
Letâs jump right into an example to kick things off.
College Essay Example #1: Clair de Lune
In this first example essay, Clair de Lune, we'll watch Alex review the essay in real-time. Let's take a look.
The writer here uses what we call a "sacred practice" format in the Essay Academy , and they do it well. It's easy to see the meaning music holds in the writer's life. Importantly, this isn't an essay about Anna. It's an essay about the writer. More specifically, it's an essay about the writer's journey as a musicianâand the ambiguity and imperfection that comes with it. By the end of the essay, the writer has come full circle. Throughout the essay, the writer also uses strong, creative language and a tight narrative pacing. Grade: A!
Before we get into the rest of our examples, let's take a quick detour to go over the role essays play in the admissions process.
How to Use College Essay Examples
Hereâs the thing. People in college admissions have lots of different opinions about whether students should read example essays. But we believe that reading example essays is a crucial step in the college essay writing process.
If you donât know what a college essay looks like, then how should you expect yourself to write one?
So reading examples is important.
However! Thereâs a caveat. The point of reading college essay examples isnât to copy them or even to get inspiration from them. Itâs to analyze them and apply what youâve learned to your own college essay.
To help you do that, our team of former admissions officers has taken this super-comprehensive compilation of college essay examples and pointed out exactly what you need to know before you start writing.
Let me break down how this post works:
Categories:
Weâve put together a great variety of college essay examples and sorted them into three categories, includingâŠ
- Best college essay examples: these examples are the creme-de-la-creme. Theyâre written by a small percentage of students who are exceptional writers.
- Good college essay examples: these examples are solid. They do exactly what they need to do on the admissions committee floor. Youâre aiming to write a good college essay.
- âBadâ college essay examples: these examples illustrate a few of the most common college essay mistakes we see.
Our former admissions officers have assigned each essay a letter grade to help you understand where it falls on the scale of âbadâ college essays to exceptional college essays.
Alongside our categorization and grades, our former admissions officers have also annotated the essays and provided concrete feedback about what works and what could be improved.
The majority of essays youâll see here are written in response to the Common Application personal statement prompts. Weâve also included a few stellar supplemental essays at the end of the post.
How an Admissions Officer Reads College Essays
All admissions officers are different. And all institutions ask their admissions officers to read in different ways.
But there are a few strategies that shape how the majority of admissions officers read college essays. (If you want a look behind the mysterious admissions curtain, read our post about how admissions offices read tens of thousands of applications every year .)
First, we need to talk about application reading as a whole.
Remember that admissions officers are reading your college essays in the context of your entire application. Itâs likely that by the time they get to your essay, theyâve already glanced at your background information, activities , and transcript . They may have even looked at your letters of recommendation or additional information.
Why is this detail important? It matters because your college essays need to be in conversation with the rest of your application. We refer to this strategy as adopting a â cohesive application narrative .â Your unique personal brandâwho you are, what youâre good at, what you valueâshould emerge across all of your application materials.
To summarize: your college essays donât exist in a vacuum. Your admissions officers learn about who you are from your entire application, and your college essays are the place where you get to tell them exactly what you want them to know. You should write them in a way that creates balance among the other parts of your application.
So once your admissions officers get to your college essays, what are they looking for?
Theyâre looking for several things. Each of your essays doesnât have to address all of these points, but they are a great place to start:
- Personal narrative that explains who you are and where you come from
- Details about specific activities, accomplishments, or inclinations
- Personality traits that make you who you are
- Lessons youâve learned throughout your life
- Values that you hold dear
- Information about how you interact with the world around you
- Highlights about what makes you special, strong, interesting, or unique
What do all of these points have in common? They revolve around your core strengths . Weâve written more extensively about core strengths in our college essay writing guide . But for now, just know this: your college essays should tell admissions officers something positive about yourself. They want to know who you are, what motivates you, and why you would be an active contributor to their campus.
As we go through the following example essays, remember: college essays are read alongside the rest of your application, and college admissions officers read your essays to learn about your core strengths. That's why our work with students focuses on creating a clear, cohesive narrative across the personal statement and supplemental essays, as you'll see in this post.
Okay, letâs get to it. Ready? Buckle up.
The Best College Essay Examples
As an admissions officer, every so often you come across an essay that blows you away. It stops you in your tracks, makes you laugh or cry, or resonates deeply with you. When exceptional essays come through your application bin, youâre reminded what an honor it is to get these fleeting glimpses into incredible studentsâ lives.
As an applicant, you may be wondering how to write this kind of exceptional college essay. Unfortunately, thereâs no simple formula. You canât âhackâ your way into it. You have to write vulnerable, authentically, and beautifullyâwhich is much easier said than done. We have a whole guide on how to write a personal statement that stands out, so we recommend that you start there.
For now, letâs take a look at some of our favorites.
College Essay Example #2: The Gospel of Steve
The first college essay we'll look at got an A+ grade and is about the writer's experience with depression and... Steve Irwin. It's a common application essay. Check it out:
" In sophomore year, I struggled with depression((While this is a fantastic essay, this hook could definitely be stronger.)) . I felt like I was constantly battling against the darkness that seemed to be closing in on me. Until, that is, I found solace in the teachings of Steve Irwin.((This unusual last sentence drew me in when I read this for the first time.))
When I first discovered Steve Irwin and his show "The Crocodile Hunter," I was captivated by his passion for wildlife. He was fearless, jumping into danger without hesitation to save an animal in need. But it was more than just his bravery that inspired me; it was his infectious energy and love for life. Watching him on TV, I couldn't help but feel a little bit better about my own struggles.((This explicit reflection does a fantastic job connecting the writerâs experiences to this Steve Irwin reference.))
But it wasn't until I read his biography that I truly felt the impact Steve had on my life. In the book, he talked openly about his own struggles with depression. He talked about the dark moments in his life, when he felt like he was drowning in despair. But he also talked about how he fought back against the darkness, how he refused to let it consume him, and how he turned his depression into a career that allowed him to follow his biggest passions.
Reading Steve's words, I felt like he was speaking directly to me.((Another beautiful transition)) I wasn't alone in my struggles if someone as brave and fearless as Steve had faced similar challenges. And that gave me the courage to keep going. I started visiting a therapist, exercising regularly, and practicing mindfulness meditation. Day by day, I lifted myself out of my depressionâall with a healthy dose of âCrocodile Hunterâ each evening after I finished my homework((The writer does a great job focusing on action steps here.)) .
One of the things that I admired most about Steve was his ability to find joy and laughter in the most unlikely places. He was always cracking jokes, even in the face of danger. He taught me that laughter and humor can be a powerful tool in the fight against depression. I went looking for the humor in my own struggles. I started learning about how stand-up comedy works, and wrote my own five-minute skit finding the humor and silver lining((The writer expands their connection to Steve Irwin even more through this comedy thread.)) in my depression. I wasnât a great comic, let me tell you. But being able to channel my experience into something positiveâsomething that helped others laughâwas extremely gratifying to me.
Depression((The reflection in this paragraph is exactly what writers need to tie all the information together before reaching the conclusion.)) is a bizarre thing. One day, youâre besieged by it from every side and it looks like thereâs no way out. Then, two months later, if youâre diligent, you look around the world and wonder what you ever had to be upset about. You find goodness and light in the things around youâyour friends, your family, your habits, and your hobbies. These forces act as buttresses to keep you standing up and moving forward.
As silly as it may sound, I credit Steve Irwin with that first buttress. His experience and outlook on life gave me the push I needed to cultivate bravery and resilience in the face of my struggle with mental health. My eternal goal is now to practice the gospel of Steveâto always pass along humor, passion, and encouragement to others, especially to those who seem down and out. Thank you, Steve."
Word Count: 525
Admissions Officer Notes on The Gospel of Steve
This essay captured my attention because of its unique pairing of a tough subjectâdepressionâwith a light-hearted and endearing topicâSteve Irwin.
The writer doesnât dwell in the experience of depression but instead finds hope and light by focusing on how their favorite TV star changed their perspective. Why this essay stands out:
- Great organization and sign-posting . The essay clearly progresses through each part of the writerâs journey. The first sentence of each paragraph signals to the reader what that paragraph will be about.
- Focus on action steps. Itâs very apparent that this writer is a do-er. The focus of the essay is on the way they emerged from their depression, not on the depression itself.
- Meaningful reflection. Especially in the second-to-last paragraph and conclusion, the writer beautifully reflects on what depression and hope mean to them.
- Core strengths. From this essay alone, I gather that the writer is a sage archetype . They clearly show their wisdom and ability to persist through challenges.
Most importantly, theyâve written the essay around communicating their core strengths.
College Essay Example #3: The Embroidery Scientist
This essay is about a writer's Etsy store and the connection she draws between fashion and science.
I stretch the thin fabric over my hoop and pull it tight, wedging the nested rings between my legs to secure them shut with my other hand((This hook is compelling. It makes us ask, âWhat in the world is the writer doing?â We are compelled to read on to find out.)) .
Next I get out the thread. Each color is wound tightly around a paper spool and stored in a container whose original purpose was to store fishing tackle.
I look at the pre-printed design on the fabric and decide what colors to select. Orange, red, pink, yellowâthis design will be as bright and happy as I can make it.
Embroidery is where the STEM and creative parts of my identity converge((Here we get a clear, explicit statement of the writerâs main point. This isnât always necessary, but it can help your reader navigate your essay more easily if you have a lot going on.)) . My STEM side is calculated. She meticulously plans the designs, mocks them up in photoshop, and painstakingly transfers them onto the fabric. She organizes each thread color by its place in ROYGBIV and cuts every piece to an identical length of 18â. Her favorite stitch is the French Knot, with its methodical âone, twoâ wrap sequence. For her, art is about precision.
My creative side, on the other hand, is messy. She throws thread scraps on the floor without hesitation, and she haphazardly adds design elements in pen. She does a Lazy Daisy stitch very lazily while adding an indescribable flourish to a simple backstitch. Her methods are indeed madness: sheâll border a design with glitter glue, hang a finished project upside down, or stitch a big red X over a perfectly good embroidery. For her, art is about meaning.
While these two sides of myself may seem at odds((Seamless transition to talking about Etsy accomplishment)) , they actually complement each other perfectly. At least, thatâs what 3,000 of my Etsy customers think. From three-inch hoops to massive wall hangings, my Etsy shop is a compilation of the best embroidery Iâve ever done. My precision and meaning have earned me hundreds of five-star reviews from customers whose lives Iâve impacted with my art. And none of that art would have been possible without STEM me and creative me.
My STEM and creative side complement each other in more than my embroidery life too. What began as a creative side hustle has actually made me a better scientist((Another good transition to discussing passion and talent for science)) .
Before I started embroidering, I approached the lab bench with an eye like a ruler. Poured a millimeter too much liquid? Better get a pipette. Went a degree over boiling? Time to start over. My lab reports demonstrated my knowledge, skill, and care, but they didnât show any innovation or ingenuity. My precision led me to be a good scientist but not an exceptional one.
I realized that to be exceptional, I needed to think like a real scientist. While scientists are careful and precise, they are also interrogators. They constantly question the world around them, identifying previously unseen problems and finding creative solutions. To become the scientist I wanted to be, I needed to allow myself to be more creative((This is a good example of what reflection throughout the essay should look like.)) .
When I had this realization, I had just begun my embroidery business. I didnât understand that my creativity could also be so useful in the lab. I set out on a new path to use more creativity in the pursuit of science.
To inspire myself, I brought an embroidery project to the lab. On it, I stitched a compound microscope and a quote from one of my favorite scientists, Marie Curie. It reads, â I am among those who think that science has great beauty.â
In the lab now, Iâm not afraid to take risks and try new things((Here we see clear personal growth.)) . When I boil my mixture too long, I still start over. But occasionally, when my teacher permits, I do a second experiment on the rejected liquid just to see what will happen. Sometimes nothing happens. Sometimes it results in utter failure. But other times, my mistakes create blue, green, and purple mixtures, mixtures that bubble and burst and fizz. All of these experiments are stitches in my quest to become a cancer researcher. They are messy, but they are beautiful((The conclusion ties beautifully back to the beginning, and we also learn what the writer is interested in pursuing in the future.)) .
Admissions Officer Notes on "Embroidery Scientist"
This writer has done an excellent job talking about two very different aspects of their identity. What I love about this essay is that the structure of the essay itself shows the writerâs creativity and precision. The essay is well-organized and precise, but the writing has a unique and creative flair. It demonstrates the writerâs point exactly. I also appreciate how the writer doesnât just talk about these parts of their identity. They explicitly connect their creativity and precision to their future goals as a scientist.
Why this essay stands out:
- Creative approach: The writer doesnât just say, âI have two identities: creative and logical.â Instead, they illustrate that point through the wonderful example of embroidery. Connecting embroidery with science also shows this creativity.
- Attention-grabbing hook : The introductory paragraphs place readers immediately into the essay. Weâre drawn in because weâre curious what the writer is doing and how it will evolve into a more meaningful message.
- Connection between personal and academic interests: The writer makes it clear why this story matters for their life in college. The creative and precise personalities arenât inconsequentialâthey have a real effect on who this person wants to be.
- Forward-looking conclusion: The writer ends by subtly telling admissions officers what theyâre interested in doing during and after college.
College Essay Example #4: Poetry Slam
When I first met Simon, he was neither speaking nor singing. He was doing something in between(( This hook is a good âstatementâ hook that raises more questions than it answers.)) . With words that flowed together like an ancient tributary, he spoke music. His hands grasping a microphone, he swayed slowly from side to side. He was a poet. But unlike that of Yeats or Dickenson, Simonâs poetry wasnât meant to be read on a pageâit was meant to be experienced like an aural work of art. And I had never experienced anything more beautiful. Disheartened, I realized that my words would never sound like Simonâs(( These two sentences are essential because otherwise the introduction would be all about Simon, not the writer.)) .
I sat in my on-deck seat. Forgetting that I was up next, I admired his craft. The crescendos and decrescendos that mirrored his pacing, the quick staccatos that punctuated each stanza, the rhymes so subtle they almost disappearedâevery second of his spoken word pulled me further from reality. I listened to his words like a devout in church(( This is good sentence pacing. A long, winding sentence is followed by a short one that keeps our attention and propels us forward.)) . Closing my eyes, I joined my hands together to count the syllables. From the outside, it probably looked like I was praying. And maybe I was. When Simonâs poem ended, the audience, though betrayed by the silence, erupted into applause.
It was my turn. I had spent an entire year perfecting my poem. My sister had grown accustomed to kicking me under the dinner table when someone asked me a question. She knew that my mind was in my beloved poetry notebook, mentally analyzing my latest draft. Iâve never been one for living in the moment. My report cards usually feature comments like, âSheâs a good student but has trouble paying attention.â Iâm always the first one out in dodgeball because my mind is completely absent from the school gym. But what seems like inattention to my teachers is actually a kind of profound focus(( This reflection widens the essayâs scope and reveals more about who the writer is as a person.)) .
When writing slam poetry, I become completely consumed. I like to start with the words. The rhythm and intonation come with time. For me, itâs about translating a feeling into language. Itâs no easy task, but it feels like an obligation. Once the words come into being, theyâre like a twister in my mind(( Good (and sparing) use of figurative language.)) . They spin and spin, destroying every other thought in their path. I canât focus on anything else because, in the aftermath of a twister, nothing else exists.
And there on the stage, nothing else existed besides me and my poem. I spoke it into existence. Like Simon, I wrapped my hands around the microphone, willing my poem to be heard. The twister exited my mind and entered the world.
A few weeks ago(( Excellent signposting)) , I watched the recording of my first poetry slam, that slam two years ago when I saw Simon perform for the first time. I saw myself climb on stage from the dark abyss of the audience. I looked small, all alone on that big stage. My voice shook as I began. But soon, my poem rendered the stage smaller and smaller. I filled the darkness with words.
As I watched myself on my computer, I thought about how I felt that day, awe-struck in the audience by Simonâs work. I felt like Iâd never be able to sound like him. And I was right. My poem didnât sound like Simonâs, and none of my poems ever would. But in this moment, I realized that they were just as beautiful. My words sounded like me(( Beautiful conclusion that really drives home just how much this person has grown. They donât need to sound like Simon. They need to sound like themself.)) .
Word Count: 552
Admissions Officer Notes on Poetry Slam
We would call this essay a âsacred practiceâ essay. Itâs clear that slam poetry is deeply meaningful to the writer. They even call it âan obligation.â Itâs a beautiful essay that also reflects the writerâs interest in poetry. They have some nice figurative language that adds interest to the storyâitâs almost like the essay is in some ways a poem itself. And the story is a good one: it demonstrates the writerâs fears, strengths, and growth.
- Deeply meaningful: We say it all the time because itâs true: college essays should be vulnerable and deeply meaningful. This essay oozes meaning. The writer even connects their love of slam poetry to who they are as a person.
- Good organization and signposting: The narrative in this essay is a little complicated as the writer switches between the slam poetry event, reflection on past events, and reflection during current day. But because each paragraph is about a single topic, and because they use very clear topic sentences and transitions, itâs easy to follow the narrative thread.
- Theme: The main theme in this essay is that the writer found their own voice through slam poetry. They had to experience growth to come to this realization. The very last sentence of the essay wonderfully ties back to the introduction and wraps up the entire essay.
College Essay Example #5: The Muscle Show
My parents are the scrapbooking type(( Iâm intrigued by this hook! It makes me ask, âWhere is this essay going?â)) . The crafty, crazy-cut scissors and construction paper, okay-everyone-make-a-silly-face-for-this-picture type.
Every summer, my entire family rents a small house in Wildwood, New Jersey for a week to catch up and enjoy the beach and good company. My favorite part is spending time with my cousin Steven, who is one year older than me. To us, there is nothing better than two pockets full of quarters, strolling down the boardwalk headed to an arcade, licking an ice cream cone, and laughing at all the novelty t-shirts for sale(( This sentence beautifully gives us a sense of place. It evokes a sense of nostalgia, too.)) .
We have a âdown the shoreâ scrapbook proudly displayed on our coffee table that holds memories from each of our family vacations. The scrapbook(( Ah-ha. A quick answer to our scrapbooking question.)) is such a fixture in our house that it blends in with its surroundings and I fully forgot it existed until this past March. I happened to pick it up and look at pictures from the first year we went. I was four, Steven was five, and there we were, shirtless in the living room, proudly displaying our kid âmusclesâ in front of a handmade sign that said âWELCOME 2 THE MUSLE SHOWâ.
I cried when I saw it.
No, not because we spelled muscle wrong. The four-year-old in that picture had such a small and fragile frame. I was the kind of child who almost looked like they had six-pack abs because they are so slim. There was so much naivety in that picture that no longer exists(( With this sentence, our writer begins to embark on their journey.)) .
I started gaining weightâa lot of weightâaround the fifth grade. My parents are wonderful role models in the way they treat others, but they arenât exactly paragons of healthy eating. Looking through the scrapbook, none of the adults in my family were particularly healthy. I distinctly remember my dad saying to me sometime in elementary school, âwhat do these people go to the gym for, anyway? What are you going to do with all those muscles?â I spent elementary and middle school on a steady diet of McDonaldâs, Doritos, and video games.
I hit 200 pounds at age 14. One day in my least favorite class, PE, we had to do a push-up competition. Not only could I not do one, I was out of breath just getting up and down from the floor. Something had to change(( And here is our inciting incident in this narrative arc)) .
I turned to one thing I was good at to figure out a solution: reading. I read books like âWhy We Get Fatâ by Gary Taubes and started to learn the science behind calories, carbs, insulin, and soon, exercise. Even though neither of my parents had ever been inside a gym, I convinced them to buy me some training sessions and a membership that Christmas.
Itâs remarkable what happens when you suddenly stop consuming fried chicken and soda, go for a daily 20-minute power walk, and exercise a few times a week. Progress in losing weight actually came sooner than I expected. By sophomore year, I was lifting weights four times a week after school and felt more comfortable in the gym than anywhere else.
I also noticed my attitude towards schoolwork was changing(( This is a good transition to widen the scope of the essay and talk about the broader implications of this journey on the writerâs life.)) . I felt like I had control in my life for the first time. I had spent countless hours trying to âlevel upâ fake characters in video games (OK, I still do thatâŠ). But leveling up myselfâmy own body and mindâwas life changing. So much in life is out of our control, but realizing that, at least to an extent, my own health is within my control brought a new sense of purpose, responsibility, and pride.
Today, Iâm at a healthy weight, my grades have improved, and I have even taken several of my friends to the gym for their first time. I look forward to continuing my healthy trend in college and beyond.
Iâll see Steven again at this summerâs beach trip. We have decided to recreate the âmusle showâ pictureâthis time with better spelling and in better health(( This short conclusion wraps everything up and has a great callback to the beginning of the essay.)) .
Admissions Officer Notes on The Muscle Show
What I like about this essay is how it weaves together multiple parts of this writerâs life. We get their family background, their sense of self, and their values, interests, and goals. The writer takes us on a journey with them. We see their determination in finding solutions to the problems theyâre facing, and we also clearly see their personality and voice.
- Upward-trending growth structure : This writer nails this essay structure. We clearly see that they begin at a âpoint Aâ where things arenât so great, and they steadily make their way to âpoint B.â By the end, we truly get a sense of how theyâve grown through the journey.
- Connections: This essay isnât just about the writerâs health journey. Itâs also about their âsense of purpose, responsibility, and pride.â Their changes expanded to even more parts of their life, and we can see that they are a person who takes initiative and gets creative with solutions.
- Conclusion: I especially love the way this conclusion brings everything full-circle. The âmusle showâ reference at the end ties the journey nicely together with a bow and ends with a sense of forward movement.
College Essay Example #6: The Stop Sign
While some high schoolers get in trouble for skipping class, I get in trouble for arguing with my local government officials on Twitter. But when lives are at stake, I can take the heat(( Very catchy, humorous, and personality-filled hook)) .
I live at the intersection of 33rd and Spruce. The intersection itself sits between a large bend and a bundle of white oak treesâa recipe for obstructed views. Drivers careen around the corner, Indy 500-style, and are abruptly met with oncoming traffic. Neither can see the other through the oaks. What is otherwise a beautiful intersection makes for awfully dangerous driving conditions.
Living by this intersection my whole life, Iâve heard countless crashes and collisions. The screeching tires and cacophony of crushing car parts is seared in my mind. As neighbors, we are often the first on the scene. Cell phone in hand, Iâve run out to help several motorists who didnât know what was coming. After the most recent crash, where a car flipped into the ditch, I knew that something had to change(( The writer has set the scene with a vivid description, and these sentences draw our attention to whatâs at stake. They need a stop sign, and itâs clear that the writer is on a mission to get one.)) . We needed a stop sign.
I began with a google search, which led me to my local Stop Sign Request Form. According to the form, a government official would reach out to me. If they deemed it appropriate, weâd work together to assess whether the intersection qualified for a stop sign.
Their response took months. While I waited, I began collecting evidence on my own(( The writerâs initiative shines through.)) . After noticing that the security camera on my house pointed toward the intersection, I decided to put the skills Iâd been developing in AP Computer Science to work. I wrote a simple code that tabulated the number of cars that passed through the intersection each day(( Here we see the technical skills the writer is developing.)) . Briefly reviewing the footage each night also helped me determine how many cars were likely going over the posted speed limit of forty miles per hour. Alongside these statistics, I went back into our cloud history to find footage of the crashes that had occurred.
When I finally heard back from the city, I was ready to make my case. My confidence deflated as soon as I opened the email(( Oh no! Thereâs a roadblock. Things arenât progressing as the writer hoped.)) : Thank you for filling out a Stop Sign Request Form , the email read. At this time, we do not have reason to believe that the intersection of 33rd Street and Spruce Street meets the criteria for a two-way stop sign. The city had disagreed with my recommendation and denied my request.
I took a moment to collect myself. How could the city not care about the safety of its citizens? Were human lives not worth looking into a simple stop sign? I took to Twitter, posting statistics from my research, photos of the obstructed view, and a security camera compilation of cars speeding by. I tagged my local representatives, and I asked for help(( But the writer doesnât focus on the problem. They continue to focus on their action steps and solutions. Thatâs exactly how you talk about a personal challenge in a college essay.)) .
While not all of them were receptive to my post, one particularly helpful representative connected me with my cityâs City Engineer. The representative instructed me to send the City Engineer all of the evidence I had collected along with another copy of my Stop Sign Request Form.
The engineer was impressed with the code I wrote and the tracking system Iâd put together, and she agreed to meet me at my house to do an inspection of the intersection. I accompanied her on the inspection so I could watch what she did. After working so hard to advocate for my community, it felt good to have my opinions heard.
In the end, I got my stop sign(( The writer emphasizes that it wasnât just about winning the stop sign debate. It was about the community impact. And what do admissions officers want to see? Yep, community impact.)) . Drivers still occasionally speed, but I was astounded by the outpouring of thanks I received after my neighborhood was alerted of the change. My foray into local government was an eventful but rewarding one. And even though Iâve secured my stop sign, Iâll still be doing stop sign research this summerâ this time as an intern at the City Engineerâs office(( And the writer pops in this awesome opportunity theyâve earned as a result. As an AO, I would see that they are continuing to prepare for college as their high school career is coming to a close.)) .
Word Count: 641
Admissions Officer Notes on The Stop Sign
This essay combines a story of personal strengths with an impactful accomplishment. Itâs not necessary to write about one of your accomplishments in your college essays, but if thatâs the route you want to go down, then this approach is a good one. Notice how it focuses on concrete action steps, emphasizes the skills the writer learned and used, and highlights how their actions impacted their community. A stop sign may seem small in the grand scheme of things, but the writer shows just how important this effort was.
- Community impact: The accomplishment this writer chose to write about is an impressive one. Admissions officers are always looking at how applicants interact with their communities , so this story showcases the writerâs willingness to help and engage with those around them.
- Strengths: Above all, we see that the writer is solutions-oriented. They are a âfounderâ or âbuilderâ archetype and arenât afraid to tackle hard problems. The writer also explicitly shows how they solved the problem using impressive skills.
- Narrative momentum : This essay is easy to read because weâre always wondering whatâs going to happen next. The hook is very catchy, the ups and downs of the writerâs struggle to solve this problem are clear, and the conclusion points to the overall significance of the story and looks toward its future impact.
College Essay Example #7: Franâs Flower Farm
Surrounded(( The hook is interesting and vivid.)) by carnations, dahlias, and marigolds, I laid down on the hard dirt, sweating from the midday sun. While my garden was a labor of love, it was still a labor. Iâd spent months during the beginning of the pandemic researching how to set up beds correctly, choose seeds and fertilizers, and run a small business(( We get plopped right into the story without wasting any time.)) . A year later, this summer would be the second harvest of Franâs Flower Farm.
As I prepared the yield for my small table at that weekâs farmers market, I reflected on how far I had come(( This transitional phrase is a quick and convenient way to incorporate reflection.)) . Prior to the pandemic, I had never even dug in the dirt. I didnât know anything about seed germination or nitrogen levels. I had my own Instagram, but I had never had to market anything or think about overhead costs. I was a total and complete newb.
But my life, like everyoneâs, changed in spring of 2020. Lockdown rendered me depressed and hopeless until one day when my mom ordered me a bouquet of flowers along with our grocery delivery. The bouquet was a simple grocery store arrangement of sunflowers. A few petals were wilting at the ends, and the stems were smashed from the flour that had been in the same plastic bag. But they were perfect. Such a small and thoughtful gesture, that bouquet inspired me to get to work(( Niceâhere we learn about the âinciting incidentâ that compelled the writer to get started on their flower farm.)) .
Lucky enough to have space for flower beds, I mapped out four different six-foot beds in my backyard. Garden tools stolen from my mom and borrowed from socially-distanced neighbors in hand, I added compost, arranged my seeds, watered, and mulched. I laid protective plastic over my beds, tucking them in like a child, and wrapped the garden in decade-old chickenwire I found in our barn. My garden was imperfectâcompost trailed between beds, my hose wrapped around my shovel in a heap on the ground, and the chickenwire was dented and rusty. But it was all mine, and it was alive(( I like this paragraph because we really see the writerâs personality. They are determined, innovative, and grateful.)) .
As the pandemic waged on, I tended to my flowers. Each morning, Iâd peek under the plastic to see how they had fared throughout the night. They gave me routine and purpose when the days seemed droning and neverending. The longer I kept them alive, the more their sprouts brought me life, too(( This is a very nice and poetic point.)) . In a world that seemed to come to a halt, my flowers showed me that growth wasnât just possibleâit was happening right in front of me.
The business side came soon after(( The transition here could be a touch smoother.)) . Later that summer, once my first crop had bloomed, I set up a roadside stand outside of my house. At that point, I had to put my flower buckets across the driveway from my stand to keep everyone safe. But my flowers brightened the days of hundreds of passing motorists. With growing confidence, I secured a spot at the farmerâs market by July, my business boomed(( Iâd like to see some specific details here about how well the business was doing.)) . Returning all profits to my garden, Iâve expanded my operations to include two more flower beds this year.
Iâm proud of how far my gardening and business skills have come, but what has been most fulfilling about Franâs Flower Farm have been the connections Iâve made. The pandemic was difficult for everyone, but it was especially difficult for healthcare workers. As the child of a healthcare worker myself, these challenges have been close to home. Knowing how greatly that bouquet of sunflowers affected me, I make sure to donate flowers(( And this sweet gesture shows another one of the writerâs strengths.)) to my local hospital in thanks every week.
Three years ago, I would never have guessed that Iâd own my own flower farm. Itâs brought me so many joys, challenges, and friends. I know I wonât be able to bring my flower farm with me to college. But the heart of the farm is more than the flowers(( Here, the writer wraps up the main theme of the essay and makes sure the reader really understands the point.)) . Itâs about me learning and using my skills to help others. Wherever Iâm planted, I know that I will bloom(( This phrasing is cliche. The writer could re-write the idea in their own words.)) .
Word Count: 643
AO Notes on Franâs Flower Farm Grade: A
I donât know about you, but Iâd love to buy a bouquet of flowers from this student! While the ending is a bit cliche, we really see how far this student has come in their journey as a farmer and a business person. We also see the magnitude of their impact. They not only grew a successful small business, but they also gave back to the healthcare workers in their community. The student is definitely one I could see thriving in a campus community.
- Topic and accomplishments : Like The Stop Sign, this essay conveys an impressive accomplishment. But the essay isnât bragging about it or overstating its significance. It works well because the writer tells a genuine story about a passion they developed.
- Variety: The writer also manages to show us two distinct strengths in one essay. We see their strength as a DIY farmer and as a business person. They are clearly a founder archetype.
- Organization and style: The essay opens with a beautiful description, and we get a lot of good language throughout. The writer is able to go through a fairly complicated timeline in a concise and digestible way.
Good College Essay Examples
Not every student can write an exceptional college essay. And thatâs okay. Sometimes itâs not one of your priorities or in your particular skill set.
Thankfully, college essays donât have to be exceptional to earn admission. They can simply be good. You can still write a solid college essay that does everything you need it to do.
So whatâs the difference between the best college essays and good college essays? Usually itâs writing style. Some writers have a gift for writing or have spent years practicing their craft, and those are usually the writers who produce essays that make admissions officers gasp.
But admissions officers recognize good, solid writing and storytelling, too.
So writing a good college essay should always be your main goal. Focus on the basics first before trying to level up to an exceptional essay.
College Essay Example #8: My Emotional Support Water Bottle
I had a stuffed animal named Elephant when I was a child(( This hook makes a statement that compels me to read on so I can figure out what theyâre referring to.)) . Iâve long since outgrown Elephant, but now I have a new object that I keep around for comfort: my emotional support water bottle. A gray thirty-two-ounce wide-mouth Hydroflask, my emotional support water bottle accompanies me everywhere.
The water bottle was a gift last Christmas after I begged my mom for one. The brand had become extremely popular at my school, and I wanted in on the trend. When I opened the package that Christmas morning, I was elated. I felt an immediate attachment, and I was proud that I could finally fit in with the other kids at my school(( Here we learn about the connection between the waterbottle and the writerâs values)) .
I had always felt like an outsider(( In this paragraph, the writer zooms the focus out to their life in general. We need this reflection to understand why the topic matters so much to the writer.)) . Other students seemed to fit together like puzzle pieces. But as much as I tried, I couldnât find a picture that matched my piece. I envied the tight-knit friendships I saw among my peers.
As soon as I unwrapped my water bottle, I decided that I needed stickers to match. The kids at my school always had stickers on theirs. I found the perfect pack. It had animated depictions of every famous literary character imaginable. Jane Austen characters, Jay Gatsby, Sherlock Holmes, Guy Montag, Jane Eyre, and more. I couldnât believe my luck.
No matter how disconnected I felt from my classmates, I could always find a community on my bookshelf(( The writer introduces another topic, literature, that tells us more about who they are.)) . I sat in the courtroom with Atticus Finch, walked through the streets of Saint Petersburg with Raskolnikov, and watched the revolution unfold alongside Satrapi. My literary friends kept me optimistic through difficult times, and I was glad to see them every day on my beloved Hydroflask.
After winter break ended, I couldnât wait to debut my new accessory. I placed it atop my desk in each class, angling my favorite stickers outward in hopes of connection. I was profoundly comforted by its presenceâI could always take a sip of water when I felt thirsty or uncomfortable, and its stickers promised to draw people in.
To my dismay(( This paragraph serves an important plot function. We see that everything, in fact, did not work out perfectly. By highlighting this challenge, we really get a sense of the writerâs problem-solving and resilience.)) , weeks went by, and no one noticed my Hydroflask or stickers. The school was filled with dozens more Hydroflasks after the holidays, so mine didnât seem so special. What had once filled me with so much hope and support transformed into a reminder of an unfulfilled promise of friendship.
I coped with the disappointment by re-reading one of my childhood favorites, Le Petit Prince . Near the end, when the little prince returns to water his flower, I had a realization. I couldnât wait around for people to come to me(( Ding, ding, ding! Here we have it. The main lesson the writer has learned. Whatâs great, too, is that theyâve stated it so clearly.)) . I had to bring the water to them.
The next day at school, I held my Hydroflask close and gathered all my courage. I headed into the lunch room and spotted Jordan, one of the people Iâd chatted with in class. She was sitting alone at a table, reading a book I couldnât identify. I asked if I could join her. Nodding, she told me about her book, White Teeth . When I placed my Hydroflask on the lunch table, she noticed my stickers(( This sentence is crucial because it ties all these threads together: the waterbottle, stickers, literature, and friendship/fitting in.)) . Together, we went through every sticker and talked about the characterâs book.
Jordan and I spent the next dayâs lunch exchanging laughter and book recommendations. She had a water bottle of her own, too. It was a classic Nalgene without a single sticker. As our friendship grew stronger, I brought Jordan the last sticker from my collection(( With this small gesture, we see a) the writerâs kindness and b) the writerâs personal growth.)) , a rainbow bookmark that read, âBOOKWORM.â
Iâve always looked to the world around me for comfort instead of finding courage within myself. Elephant still sits on my shelf, I continue to be an avid reader, and I always carry my Hydroflask around for hydration. But this learning process has taught me the importance of having confidence and finding the ability to reach out to others. I canât wait to carry this skill with me to collegeâ after I get some more stickers(( The conclusion ties all these threads together beautifully, and this final statement adds some spunk and forward movement.)) .
Word Count: 648
Admissions Officer Notes on My Emotional Support Waterbottle
Ah, the emotional support water bottle. Weâve all had one! This writer does a wonderful job connecting an otherwise simple object to a larger story about an important part of their life. We also learn a lot about the student, their background, their goals, and their interests from this essay. I especially like how the essay shows the writerâs academic passion (literature) without being an explicitly academic-focused essay.
What makes this essay good:
- Storytelling: With their love of reading, itâs no wonder this writer is a good storyteller. As readers, we get a very clear sense of how the events progressed and changed the readerâs perspective.
- Compelling hook: This essayâs introduction is attention-grabbing and quirky. It compels readers to continue on in the essay to find out what, exactly the writer is talking about.
- Clean conclusion: The conclusion is a fantastic example of what college essay conclusions should do. It reflects back on the essay, ties up loose ends, and looks forward to how these lessons will apply to the writerâs future.
What the writer could do to level up:
- Core Strengths: While we learn a lot about the writer from the essay, there could be a stronger sense of core strengths. We see that they are a strong reader, but that strength doesnât necessarily connect to their overall message. We also see that they are eager to connect and become a good friend with Jordan, but they donât all connect seamlessly into a specific archetype or two. A good question to ask yourself is: how would the strengths I show in this essay convince an admissions officer that I will be a good addition to their campus?
College Essay Example #9: Party of One
The sun shone through my airplane window, hitting the tray table exactly right to reveal the greasy handprint of a child. Beside me, a woman cleared her throat as she rifled through her purse, and the tween next to her tapped away on an iPad. The knees of the tall man behind me pushed against the back of my chair. Together, we headed to Pennsylvania(( We open with clear scene-setting, and the final sentence jumps right to the point: weâre on a journey to PA.)) .
This wasnât my first trip to Pennsylvania, and it wouldnât be my last. But it was my first trip traveling as a party of one. Barely past the unaccompanied minor cutoff, I departed for a month-long and court-ordered trip to my dadâs house. I wasnât eager to travel alone. I felt afraid, too young to do this by myself. I wanted to go back home. But I decided to embrace the journey as an adventure(( This explicit reflection helps us, the reader, understand what mindset the writer is at at the beginning of this journey.)) .
With the growing whirr of the engines, the plane ascended. All around me, my neighbors breathed sighs of relief when we reached cruising altitude. I tightened my seatbelt across my lap, steadying myself for the five-hour trip, and took in the scene. Always the quiet and careful observer(( And here we really learn about who the writer is)) , a full flight was my Sistine Chapel.
The woman to my right was wearing all black. She extracted her laptop from her bag the moment the flight attendants permitted, and she created a PowerPoint presentation from scratch before the drinks cart had even started down the aisle. She was all business. I imagined that she signed her emails with nothing but her name, that she read Keynes in her free time, and that people listened when she spoke. She was everything I longed to be(( While the majority of this paragraph is about the writerâs seat mate, this final sentence brings the focus back to the writer. We learn that the description, in fact, was about the writer themselfâeverything they âlonged to be.â)) .
Next was the tween, only a few years younger than I was. Clearly afraid of flying, the tween reached across the aisle to a man who was presumably her father. I found it endearing that she reached out in fear. The dadâs reassurance didnât just comfort the tween. It comforted me. So far from home, his quiet calm reminded me of the parent waiting to pick me up at the other end of this journey. I remembered reaching out for my own fatherâs hand when we flew to Pennsylvania for the first time(( Here we have more great reflection about the writerâs relationship with their dad. )) . Now, I watched the dad squeeze the tweenâs hand. I felt guilty for the frustration I felt about the trip. I was excited to see my dad.
And finally, there was the man behind me. Aside from the brief glimpse I got during boarding, I didnât know what he looked like. But there were two things I knew to be true. First, he was tall. The longer the flight went on, the more apologetically his knees bumped against my seat. Second, I felt emboldened by his ability to take up space. With each nudge forward, I spread myself a little bigger(( The writerâs encounter with this man nudged their growth forward. At the beginning, they felt small and timid. Now, theyâre more able to take up space.)) , daring to exist in a world I normally wanted to hide from.
Four hours into the flight, turbulence hit. The long-legged man yelped as his knee hit the metal of the seat. Bigger now(( And that growth is solidified even more through this brief transition statement.)) , I was able to brace myself against the impact. I looked to the tween, who I expected to be a wreck. Instead, I saw a calm girl handing napkins to her dad, whose drink had spilled in the commotion. Her care for him mirrored the care he had shown for her. The woman next to me, who had seemed so steadfast, gasped when the plane shot downward. Her hand reached for her chest as she caught herself, surprised. I moved my arm from our shared armrest, giving her space(( This last part gives a very subtle look at the writerâs growth, too. We see that the person the writer admired isnât as strong as she had seemed. In fact, the writerâs growth has enabled them to help the woman in her moment of weakness.)) . She smiled in appreciation.
After the turbulence had ended, I looked at myself. My hands were folded neatly in my lap. I realized that although I was flying solo, I was surrounded by strangers whose stories intersected with my own(( This point could be more specific.)) . When we landed, I ran into my dadâs arms. â Youâve grown ,â he smiled.
Admissions Officer Notes on Party of One
This essay is an endearing story about the writerâs first solo plane ride. The narrative is what we would characterize as a âgoing on a journeyâ essayâboth literally and figuratively. As the writer makes this cross-country trip, they also go through a long personal journey. I especially like the tie between the introduction and conclusion. Along the way, we also learn about the writer through their observations of the other people on the flight.
- Introduction: The first two paragraphs draw the reader in, descriptively set the scene, and establish what is at stake for the writer. We are dropped right into the journey alongside them.
- Vivid language: Throughout the essay, the writer uses interesting and vivid language that helps draw the reader in. The details arenât overwhelming but add depth to the narrative.
- Reflection throughout: One of the most challenging parts of writing this kind of essay is figuring out how to incorporate your reflection throughout. Many writers mistakenly save it all to the end. But this writer does it the right way by adding reflection at each stop along their journey.
Focus on the self: As-is, this essay tells us a lot about the writer. But itâs nearing on committing one of the biggest college essay writing faux pas: focusing on people other than yourself. I think the writer is getting close to that line but doesnât yet cross it because of the reflection throughout. But to make the essay even better, the writer could still draw more focus to their own experiences.
College Essay Example #10: My Greatest Talent
Iâm a klutz(( Quirky but not too out-there hook that has a lot of personality)) âthatâs it, thatâs my greatest talent. Iâve honed my clumsiness to perfection, putting in more than my 10,000 hours over the last⊠17 years of my life.
When I was six or seven, I was always the one tripping over my own feet, knocking things over. (âThis is why we canât have nice things!â my mom used to scream, half in jest and half in exasperation.) My parents used to joke that I was the only person who could trip on a flat surface. But unfortunately for me, despite doing my due diligence into flat-earth theory(( Hereâs more humor that adds some interest and voice to the essay.)) , I found that there was a prevailingly devilish curve to everything around me. If it had a lip, an edge, or a slick spot, I found it.
As I got older(( Excellent signposting to guide the reader through the narrative)) , my talent for being a klutz grew. I managed to trip over my own backpack on a daily basis, and I once fell down a flight of stairs while holding a tray of cookies (I was trying to be a good hostess, but it didn't end well). My friends and family came to expect it, and after those first few years of irritated glances, they began to meet my clumsiness with a laugh and an extended hand.
Being a klutz isn't all bad(( Here, the writer flips our expectations on their head. Weâre about to learn about how being clumsy is, in fact, a talent.)) . In fact, it has some pretty decent perks. For one thing, itâs helped me become more empathetic. I know what it feels like to stumble and fall (and stumble and fall, and stumble and fall, andâŠ), and Iâm always ready to offer a kind word and a hug to someone whoâs having a tough time. I also have a great sense of humor(( Weâve already seen this strength in action at the beginning of the essay, so itâs another good one to highlight.)) âa defense mechanism thanks to all of the embarrassing moments that Iâve created for myself. And let's not forget the fact that I am never bored. There is always something to trip over or knock over. Neither I nor anyone around me ever lacks for entertainment.
One of the biggest benefits of being a klutz is the unexpected friendships(( Friendship is another good strength. But at this point, the essay is starting to feel somewhat list-like. It may have been better to delve more deeply into fewer strengths rather than try to cover so much at once.)) it has given me. For example(( This is a good concrete anecdote that demonstrates the point, though.)) , I once tripped and fell into a ditch while hiking with a group of near-strangers I had met at a trailhead. Surrounded by brambles and thorns, three of them jumped right down with me to hoist me out. My graceless tumble became an inside joke of the trip and we all ended up becoming good friends. I was still embarrassed, of course, but Iâm grateful that my clumsiness opened up a new door for friendship that day.
Being a klutz has also taught me to be patient with myself(( Again, we have another good strength, but itâs a lot to cover in one short essay.)) , and to not take myself too seriously. It has taught me to always be prepared for the unexpected, and to always have a good sense of humor. And most importantly, it has taught me to be kind to others(( And yet another strength! Especially since these are related, combining them in a more substantial way may have been more effective.)) , especially when they are having a tough time.
So, if you are looking for someone whoâs a little bit quirky and a lot of fun, Iâm your girl. I may not be the most graceful person on the planet, or on your campus, but I am confident, kind, and always up for a good laugh. Anyway, where's the fun in being graceful? Just, please, if you do accept meâIâd really appreciate some foam bumpers on the sharp surfaces in my dorm(( More wonderful personality to wrap things up hete. It's approaching being too informal, though.)) .
Word Count: 548
Admissions Officer Notes on My Greatest Talent
This essay is kind of a goofy one. Iâve included it as an example because I want to show you that itâs okay for your college essay to have some personality! Your college essay doesnât have to be a big, serious rumination on some deep topic. Especially if youâre a goofy person yourself, itâs completely okay for you to choose a more light-hearted topic that showcases your personality. If you do, just be sure to follow this writerâs lead and still write an essay that showcases your strengths.
- Topic choice and personal voice: When we read this essay, we get a crystal clear picture of who the student is because the topic allows them to really write in their own voice. I feel like I know the student after reading it.
- Strengths: All college essays should communicate a core strength to the reader. This essay does an exceptional job at transforming something most people would consider a weaknessâbeing clumsyâinto clear strengthsâempathy, humor, friendship, patience. Overall, we see that the writer
- Writing style: The biggest tweak this writer could make would be leveling up the writing style. As it is now, it reads like a five-paragraph essay: first I did this, then this, and then this third thing. Changing up the organization and topic sentences could help the writing come across as more mature.
College Essay Example #11: Counting Cards
I am a psychic who thinks in terms of fours and threes(( This hook raises a lot of questions: What is the writer referring to? It does read, however, as a bit disingenuous and overly quirky.)) . Deal me any hand of Gin, and I can guarantee Iâll have you beat. I stare at the cards in my hand and see numbers moving in my mind. Like a mathemetician at a chalkboard, I plan out my next move. I use logic, memory, and a little bit of luck to guess exactly what your hand looks like. The possible combinations seem endlessâfour Kings and a run of three, three nines and four Queens, a run of four and three sevens, and many, many more. What I love most about playing Gin is the predictability. While I may not know whatâs coming, I can use what I already know to strategize, adapt, and have fun along the way(( Here we have a clear gesture toward the essayâs overall theme.)) .
My Gin career began as a small child. My aunt taught me how to play the game while we were camping. My hands were so small that we had to use a chip clip to keep the cards in place(( These first three sentences are very choppy because they all have the same length and structure.)) . I was at first intimated by the âbig kid game,â as I called it then, but soon I couldnât get enough. I forced my entire family to play, and I even roped in the kids at the campsite next to us. My aunt, a mathematician, is a skilled Gin player. She passed her tips and tricks along to me. After a few years of playing, she was the only opponent I couldnât beat.
Last summer was the first time it finally happened. I bested her. I had a hand with three Aces and a run of Spades. I needed another Ace or a three or seven of Spades. When I drew that final Ace from the deck, I could hardly believe it. I paused to count my cards again(( This description paints a wonderful picture of the writer, their aunt, and the relationship between them.)) . I drew my hands to my chest, looked up at my aunt slowly and triumphantly, and calmly declared, âGin.â My aunt squealed and embraced me, proud of all the progress her protegee had made.
This win came from a year of hard work(( This is an effective transition that allows the writer to talk about all the work they put in.)) . I read every book on Gin I could find at the library, watched countless YouTube videos, and became an expert on Ginâs more lively counterpart, Gin Rummy. Learning and practicing drew me into a huge online community of Gin enthusiasts. I never thought that Iâd meet some of my best friends through a card game, but I did. Every night, weâd compete against each other. And with each match, my skills would sharpen like a knife on a honing steel. When I finally beat my aunt, I hadnât just won the game. Iâd won lifelong friends and greater reasoning skills(( And here is a bit of reflection sprinkled in at the end. There definitely could be more reflection throughout.)) .
Gin players arenât internationally recognized for their intellectual prowess like chess or Scrabble. Iâve learned other games and played them successfully, but nothing has come close to the joy and challenge I feel while playing Gin. I love predicting what your opponent holds and what youâll draw next, betting on your perfect card being in the draw deck, chatting with your opponent as you deal the next round, and earning bragging rights after winning a matchâall of it is the perfect mix of strategy and community. When I head off to college in the fall, the first thing Iâll pack will be a deck of cards(( This is a sweet ending that looks forward to the future. The conclusion could have touched more specifically on why all of this is so meaningful to the writer.)) .
Word Count: 549
Admissions Officer Notes on Counting Cards
This essay chronicles a writerâs journey learning how to play the card game Gin. I really like how much the writer and their personality shine through. Like the My Greatest Talent essay, Counting Cards is a great example of how to write a fun, light-hearted essay that still speaks to your strengths.
- Topic: Admissions officers see lots of essays about chess and sports. But itâs pretty rare to see one about Gin. The topic (and enthusiasm with which the student writes about the topic) give this essay a good personal voice.
- Connections: The writer also makes stellar connections between a simple game and the people who are most meaningful to them: their family and friends.
- Strengths: Even with a topic as simple as a card game, the writer manages to highlight their strengths of work ethic and camaraderie.
- Higher stakes: We see that the game of Gin is really important to the writer. We also see how the game is connected to their relationship with their aunt and to the new community they found online. But Iâm left wanting a little bit more reflection and vulnerability about why Gin is so meaningful to this writer.
College Essay Example #12: Golden Hills Animal Clinic
On my best days at work, Iâm surrounded by puppies, kittens, and rainbows(( This hook is interesting, but it's quite cliche.)) . On my worst, I watch people say tearful goodbyes to their best friends. Working at the front desk of Golden Hills Animal Clinic, Iâve seen it all. Iâve learned a lot about people through their pets. Iâve also learned a lot about myself(( Here, we get straight to the point of what this essay is going to be about.)) .
I began working in the clinic two summers ago. Iâm known in my family as the â Snow White(( What a sweet detail about this writerâs background)) â because Iâve always had a special connection with animals. I had nearly started a new colony of stray cats in my backyard by the time I was nine. Iâve nursed more sick and injured birds than I can count. Iâve discovered all kinds of insects, snakes, and lizards in my neighborhood. Now, at the front desk, I get to welcome the animals and their humans. I share in their joys and console them at their lows.
After(( This topic sentence does a good job structuring the paragraph, but it could be clearer how this paragraph connects to the overall idea of the essay.)) watching thousands of animals struggle, you think youâd get used to the pain and suffering. But each hurt, injured, or elderly animal I check in stings just the same. When Iâm in the back room helping prepare the animals for surgeries or procedures, I look into their eyes and desperately try to communicate that everything will be okay. The worst part is knowing that the animals can tell something is wrong but donât understand what is happening. And when their owners walk past my front desk, I reassure them that weâre treating their pets as our own.
But with lifeâs hard moments also come the happiest ones. Itâs easy to become dejected by the sad times, but working at the clinic has actually given me more hope(( Ah-ha! We learn that even though the writer witnesses a lot of sadness at the clinic, the experience has actually given them more hope.)) . Thereâs nothing like seeing small puppies, feet too big for their bodies, prance through the waiting room. Iâve witnessed children comfort cats through holes in carriers, and Iâve become inspired by the assertiveness with which our veterinarians make critical decisions to help animals. Through all this, Iâve learned that those little pockets of happiness, care, and determination are what make life worth living(( This sentence helps ground the reader in the writerâs theme.)) .
Iâve also learned that veterinary medicine is as much about the people as it is the pets. Sometimes owners have to be convinced about the best care plan for their pets. Sometimes others arenât able to afford the care they desperately want to get. People come in worried about nothing or not worried enough. Part of managing the front desk is having the ability to read where a person is coming from the moment they start speaking. Seeing things from customersâ perspectives helps me provide better customer service to the people and the pets. If I sense that a customer is worried about cost, I can talk to them about payment plans. If someone seems overwhelmed by the options, I ask if theyâd like to speak with the vet again. In all these cases, I feel proud to provide as much help as I can. Doing so makes sure that our animals receive the best care possible(( We get a good sense of the writerâs strengths in this paragraph, but by the end, it still doesnât really connect back to the theme.)) .
Now, as an aspiring veterinarian myself(( And with this small note, we learn all thatâs at stake: the writer wants to be a vet in the future, so all of these experiences are important preparation .)) , I know that the rest of my career will be filled with the happiest and saddest moments of peopleâs lives. My care for animals will turn tragedies into miracles. Iâll console owners of sick pets, and Iâll help bring new life into the world. Veterinary medicine is a lot like life in general. You canât have the good without the bad. But Iâve never met a pet owner who wouldnât trade the pain of animal loss for even one fleeting, happy moment with their furry friend. Animals make the world a better place. Like Snow White(( Clever call back to tie the essay together)) , Iâll continue listening to animals so I can make their world a little better too.
Word Count: 615
Admissions Officer Notes on Golden Hills Animal Clinic
This essay tells a good story about this writerâs time working at an animal clinic. What I like about this essay is that the writer doesnât sugar coat things, but they also donât dwell on the sadness that passes through the clinic. They are real about their experiences, and they draw valuable lessons from them. They also show the importance of this story by connecting it to their future goals.
- Strengths: We clearly see the strengths this writer brings to the clinic. They are understanding, patient, and positive. We also clearly see how these strengths will help the writer be a good veterinarian in the future.
- Topic sentences and transitions: Although the paragraphs get unwieldy at times, the writerâs clear topic sentences and transitions help us seamlessly progress through the narrative.
- Being more direct and concise: At times, it feels like the writer rambles instead of making clear, direct points. Rambling can distract the reader from the main point youâre trying to make, so itâs best to stay on track in each paragraph.
- Fewer cliches: Relying on cliches shows immaturity in your writing. Cliches like âpuppies, kittens, and rainbowsâ and âwith the bad comes the goodâ get in the way of the writerâs own voice.
College Essay Example #13: The Filmmaker
Eye to the lens, I feel in complete control. The old camera weighs heavy in my hands as I quietly point my leading actor to the other side of the frame. Taking a moment to look at the world through my own eyes rather than a lens, I make a decision. I back up, careful not to trip, and capture the wide, panning shot I had envisioned. Filmmaking allows me to show others exactly how I see the world. With an odd angle or lingering aside, I can take my audience on a journey through my eyes(( This introduction raises a lot of questions that propel us forward through the essay: what is the writer doing? What is it that they want to show the world? Why does this all matter?)) .
Whatâs beautiful about filmmaking is that there are several art forms occurring simultaneously(( We begin with a paragraph that dives deep into the writerâs interest.)) . At the foundation of a scene is the script. Words that draw a viewer in and keep them there, the script is an essential act of creative writing. Next thereâs the acting. An art of performance, acting brings the script to life. A good actor will make an audience feel as if they are with the characters, feeling what they feel and doing what they do. Then thereâs the direction and filmmaking. Choices about how to translate a three-dimensional world to pixels on a screen drastically affect the audienceâs experience. And, finally, thereâs the editing. Editing is where all of the other art forms converge, selected and chopped up and stitched back together to create something even better than the original.
Iâve never been one for writing or acting. But the latter two, filmmaking and editing, are where my passions lie(( And here we learn about the writerâs main passion, inspirations, and journey as a filmmaker.)) . Inspired by my favorite movie, ET , I began filmmaking in elementary school. Borrowing my momâs Flip UltraHD camera, Iâd run around my home, filming everything in sight. Soon after, I started gathering my neighborhood friends in my backyard and directing them in made-up film productions. Our films took us on journeys around the world. We were pirates in the Atlantic, merchants in Paris, and kangaroos in Australia. We learned how to tell stories and create and resolve conflicts. In the process, we learned about ourselves, each other, and the world around us.
My love for editing didnât come until later(( This is an okay topic sentence that helps us understand where weâre at in the narrative, but the paragraph as a whole could more clearly relate to the writerâs overall theme.)) . When my family upgraded our ancient Gateway 2000 to a sleek iMac, I became an iMovie aficionado. I learned how to use all the features and enter in keyboard shortcuts. I became a sculptor. Instead of clay, my material was digital. Iâd split clips in half, manually zoom in to my subject, and add filters that changed the whole tone of a shot. Shift + Command + F, and Iâd play my clips in full screen, evaluating them with the eye of a film critic. Was my shot effective? Are the actors convincing? Is there anything odd in the background? If I had never seen this, what would I think and feel? Then Iâd repeat the process, over and over again.
Some people might say that dedicating myself to filmmaking is frivolous in a world with more pressing problems. But filmmaking is a way to spread messages and give people hope. From the change wrought by An Inconvenient Truth to the laughter Mr. Bean has incited in millions, filmmaking is a way to bring art, truth, and laughter to everyone. More accessible than books or newspapers, film and TV couldnât be more essential media to confront the problems of today. With the passion of my ten-year-old self, the films Iâll continue to make will have an impact(( We conclude by learning about the writerâs interest in using filmmaking to impact the world. The writer could dig a little deeper hereâit stays mainly on the surface.)) .
Word Count: 563
Admissions Officer Notes on The Filmmaker
In this essay, we get a great sense of how excited the writer is about filmmaking. They take us on their journey learning about filmmaking, and they explain how their interest will serve them in the future. I especially enjoy how this essay oozes passion. By the end of the essay, we have no doubt about what this writer sees as their lifeâs calling.
- Organization: The introduction , background, explanation, and discussion of personal growth all cohere perfectly. The writer walks us through each step of their journey in a clear and logical way.
- Voice: Through all the rich descriptions of the writerâs childhood, we really see their personality and voice.
- Significance and meaning : While itâs clear that this topic is one the writer is passionate about, the essay could evoke more meaning. Itâs not apparent whatâs truly at stake. The writer should ask and answer the question: âSo what?â In answering that question, theyâll be able to be more vulnerable throughout the essay.
âBadâ College Essay Examples
âBadâ is in quotation marks here because writing is always relative.
In the case of these examples, we have categorized them as âbadâ because they donât adequately meet the expectations of a college essay. That doesnât mean that theyâre objectively bad or that their writers are bad writers. It means that the essays need some more attention.
âBadâ essays can always become good essays. Sometimes they can even become the best essays. What matters most is identifying whatâs not working and putting in a lot of effort to address the problems.
Across the thousands of college essays we read as admissions officers, there are several issues that arise again and again. Learning from these issues can help you avoid them.
We have a whole post about those biggest college essay mistakes. But the following examples commit three different writing faux pas:
- Too much metaphor and not enough substance
- No main point or clear organization
- About a topic that is important to the writer but not actually that high-stakes
With these mistakes in mind, letâs do some analysis.
College Essay Example #14: Lost in the Forest
I look into the forest, moss wet on my feet(( This is an intriguing hook.)) . Thereâs fog everywhereâI can barely see the glasses that sit on my nose. I feel a cool breeze rustle against my coat. I am cold and warm all at once. The sun shines through the fog, casting the shadow of a tree whose roots know no end. At the entrance to the forest, I stand frozen in time and space. I canât see whatâs ahead of me or behind me, only what is(( After this sentence, the metaphor becomes unclear.)) . And what is suddenly transforms into what could be. I see a fork in the pathway in front of me. The noiseâthe noise is so loud. Crickets and owls and tigers, oh my(( Avoid cliche phrases.)) . My thoughts scream even louder. I canât hear myself think through the sounds of the forest of my mind. Off in the distance, I see a figure. Itâs a shadow figure. Itâs my mother. Sheâs walking towards me. I take a step into the forest, fearlessly ready to confront any overwhelming obstacle that comes my way(( This is a nice sentence that encapsulates the main theme of the essay.)) .
When I was a child, I used to play in the forest behind my house. Until one day when I caught my mom sneaking a cigarette outside. She tried to hide it behind her back, but I could see the smoke trailing over her head like a snail. I didnât know what to do, so I ran farther into the forest. I am used to being disappointed by her. I ran and ran and ran until I tripped over a tree branch that fell in the storm the week before. I laid on the cold, hard ground. The back of me was soaked. Would I turn into my mom? After that, I decided to turn back. The cold was encroaching. I got home and saw my mom in the kitchen. We agreed not to speak of what I saw(( This paragraph could use some more details about whatâs at stake: why does all of this matter? As readers, we need more information about the writerâs relationship with their mom to understand why this confrontation was so significant.)) .
While taking a history test, I looked around at my classmates. The gray desk was cold against my skin. I started counting the people around me, noting those who I knew well and those I had never really talked to. I looked at all the expensive backpacks and shoes. After our test, I asked the person next to me how she thought she did. She said it was a difficult test, and I agreed. Every class period, weâd talk more and more. We became friends. We started hanging out with another friend from biology class. We were inseparable, like three peas in a pod. Weâd study together and hang out together and dance. They were the best friends I ever had. We liked to play soccer after school and sing loudly to music in my room. But one day it all stopped. They both stopped talking to me((It's not clear how this anecdote relates to the anecdote about the writerâs mother. The significance of the forest metaphor could also be drawn out more.)) . It was like I had been yanked out of the forest and thrown on to the forest floor. I became moss, the owls pecking at my spikey green tendrils. They found two other friends, and I sat alone at my desk in history again. It was like another test, but this time a history of my own.
Things went on like this for years. Over and over again I got put back into the forest. My friends who I thought were my friends actually were just drama machines. Life is foggy when you donât know whatâs going on. And I live in a forest thatâs always foggy. Try as I might to find myself, itâs easy to get lost in all the trails and hills. Iâm climbing a mountain each and every day. But I keep going back into the forest, looking for answers(( The return to the metaphor almost works here. But because the metaphor has gotten in the way of the main point, we need more explicit reflection to tie everything together.)) .
Word Count: 603
Admissions Officer Notes on Lost in the Forest
So. Writers know that college essays should be meaningful reflections and exercises in creative writing. But sometimes writers take this advice to the extreme and write essays that are too metaphorical and too focused on internal reflection.
This essay is the perfect example of what happens when a writer goes over the top with metaphor. The forest metaphor could be a useful tool given the writerâs topic, but as it is now, everything else gets lost within the metaphor. Itâs difficult to extract what the writer actually says about their life.
The writerâs reflection is also deep and removed from specific examples. After reading the essay, I still donât feel like I know the writer. The topic also changes halfway through the essay, so following the thread throughout is challenging.
What this essay does well:
- Topic: Even though the writerâs topic switches in the middle of the essay, itâs clear that the topics are both meaningful to the writer. The first topic especially may still be grounds for a great college essay.
- Vulnerability: The writerâs vulnerability shines through. They are willing to share an important part of themselves.
What the writer could improve upon:
- Pick a main topic and stick with it: Part of what makes this essay challenging to follow is that itâs doing too many things at once. Narrowing the topic would help the writer focus all their thoughts on communicating one overall idea.
- Use the metaphor sparingly: Remember that metaphors are best when used sparingly. Pulling off an overarching metaphor is very difficult, so itâs generally easier for writers to sprinkle in small references to the metaphor throughout. A great way to accomplish this is the âbookend technique,â where you introduce a metaphor in the introduction and return to it in the conclusion.
- Tighten up each paragraph : All of the paragraphs in this essay have a lot of information that doesnât necessarily flow logically from one sentence to the next. My final recommendation would be to edit the paragraphs themselves for clarity. The writer should think about what information is essential and cut the rest.
College Essay Example #15: The Chemist
You(( There are always different opinions about addressing your reader. Sometimes it can work okay, but this instance doesn't work quite as well.)). may be wondering why Iâve taken so many chemistry classes. Well, thatâs because I love chemistry. I used to hate chemistry with a fiery passion but now I love it more than anything. I remember that I used to struggle through every single chemistry assignment I ever got. My sister would try to help me but Iâd just get upset, like I really just didnât understand it and that was so frustrating so I just kept not wanting to do more but eventually I started to think âoh chemistry is at the foundation of everything that makes up our universe,â and isnât that just fascinating?(( Whewâthat was a long sentence! This is a run-on sentence, but we do learn about the writerâs primary motivation for studying chemistry.)) So then I decided to make a change and actually try to learn chemistry. I started paying attention in class and asking my teacher for help after class and finally one day my sister said, âWow, youâre really improving.â And that meant so much to me. When my great-grandparents immigrated to the United States(( This reference is nice, but it's an abrupt topic change. Itâs not clear why the writer is bringing up their great-grandparents.)) , they had no idea what would be in store for their great-grandkids. We really donât learn chemistry in school until high school, so itâs no wonder I didnât understand it in high school when I started taking it. Electrons and atoms and acids and alcohols. Thereâs so much to learn. I really have never been good at math so Iâd say thatâs one of my biggest challenges in chemistry now is learning how to do the equations and figuring out how the math works. In fifth grade I used to be in advanced math but then it just got worse from there until I learned about tutoring. I started doing tutoring through the high school when I was in ninth grade and it helped a lot because I just needed a little more help for each lesson to really understand it. But even with that the math part of chemistry is still hard for me. But I always keep trying! Thatâs the most important thing to me I think is to keep trying(( This is a good statement of values.)) . Even when problems are hard and I canât solve them I try to have a good attitude because even if I canât get it right, doing chemistry is about unlocking the secrets of the universe and that really is interesting even if you canât completely understand them. When I started taking chemistry in my sophomore year I almost gave up but I was also really inspired by my teacher who guided me through everything. She gave me extra time to do my lab work and was even my lab partner a couple times because our class has an uneven number of students. My favorite part of chemistry lab is mixing solutions and testing them. I donât like the lab report writing so much but I know itâs an important part. So I try to just get through that so I can get back to doing experiments and such. My favorite experiments was about building a calormieter to measure how many calories is in our food(( Pay attention to small errors and typos like this one.)) . Calories are energy so you burn your food to measure how much energy they have. Then you write up a report about how many calories each food item like bananas, bread, a cookie, had. The best part of doing labs is having your lab partner there with you. Youâre both wearing goggles and lab coats and gloves and you feel really like a professional chemist and itâs nice that youâre not doing it alone. You just read the lab instructions and do each of the steps in order. Itâs like baking a cake! You just follow the recipe. But you donât eat the results! You might use beakers or bunsen burners to hold liquid or burn or heat up whatever it is youâre experimenting on. And when I say âfind the meaning of the universeâ I really mean it(( The writer is trying to return to a bigger reflection here, but the transition needs to be much smoother.)) . Itâs amazing how much chemistry is in everything. Cooking is doing chemistry because youâre changing up the properties of the food. The air we breathe, the way plants get energy, the medicines we take, we understand it all because of chemistry. I know that becoming a chemist is hard work and isnât easy. But I know that itâs rewarding and thatâs why I want to do it. Helping people is so important to me and I think that chemistry can help me get there(( Here, we also learn about the writerâs values and motivations.)) . I also like the health and beauty industry and I think it would be fun to get to develop new products or perfumes or medicines.
Word Count: 746
Admissions Officer Notes on The Chemist
Thereâs no easy way to say it, but this essay just doesnât meet the mark. Thatâs why it gets an F. It reads like a free write rather than an essay because it is stream-of-consciousness and doesnât really make a clear point. I learn that the writer loves chemistry, but the overall message is not clear.
- Ideas : All hope is not lost! Once we dig into what each sentence of the essay is saying, there are some good ideas that the writer can turn into a more cohesive topic.
- Organization: I hesitate to make any extreme claims about college essays, but I feel pretty confident in saying that the vast majority of college essays should always be more than one paragraph. You need paragraphs to break up your thoughts into digestible chunks. Each paragraph should contain a single point youâre trying to convey to the reader. This writer should break all these ideas up into several paragraphs.
- Theme: We see that the topic of the essay is chemistry, that chemistry is interesting because itâs the foundation of everything, and that chemistry can help people. But we donât really get any deeper meaning from the writer. They havenât made an attempt to be vulnerable or to show us something significant about themself.
- Length: The essay is almost a hundred words over the word count. The writer needs to pare things down as they organize and clarify their ideas.
Supplemental Essay Examples
In addition to your personal statement, many colleges will also have you write what are called âsupplemental essays.â
These essays do exactly as the name implies: they supplement your personal statement. Theyâre the perfect opportunity for you to tell admissions officers even more about yourself beyond the information you put in your personal statement. Specifically, ou can use them strategically to highlight even more of your strengths.
There are no universal supplemental essay prompts like there are for the Common Application personal statement.
Instead, colleges provide their own supplemental essay prompt(s) as part of their applications.
The good news, however, is that these prompts generally fall into a few common categories: Why Us, Community, Personal Challenge, Extracurricular Activities, Academic Interest, Diversity, and Why this Major prompts.
If you want to learn more about what these prompts entail, or about how to even write a supplemental essay in the first place, check out our complete guide to writing supplemental essays (itâs really good).
For now, letâs take a look at standout example essays for four of the most common supplemental prompt types.
Community Essay: The DIY-ers
Prompt from MIT: Describe the world you come from (for example, your family, school, community, city, or town). How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?
225 words or fewer"
I come from a family of do-it-yourselfers(( Straightforward but attention-grabbing. Nice!)) . In part, this lifestyle is one of necessity. Hiring professionals isnât cheap, after all. But our DIY proclivities are also a product of a longstanding family tradition of ingenuity.
My first DIY was a fix on my Cozy Coupe, whose steering wheel had fallen off. Since then, my DIYs have become larger scale. With my dad, Iâve replaced loose bike chains, put in a new car clutch, and re-tiled our kitchen.
But our biggest DIY to date has been building a six-foot telescope(( Great topic choice that connects to the writerâs academic interests)) together. Made of scraps and spare parts, itâs not the most beautiful telescope. But our focus is on the stars anyway. My entire family has evening picnics, taking turns to look through the makeshift eyepiece. Occasionally the eyepiece falls off, and we all laugh(( I love the personality that emerges with this detail.)) as I run over to replace it.
Coming from a DIY family has made me self-reliant. And when the fixes just arenât working, my dad reminds me to take a step back and think creatively about solutions. Itâs from this mindset that my dream of being an environmental engineer has evolved(( The writer could get to this point sooner.)) .
I know that engineering isnât just about fancy gadgets. Itâs about ingenuity. I want to adapt my DIY ingenuity, mind and hand(( A cheeky nod to the schoolâs mottoâinteresting!)) , to even bigger projects that mitigate climate change and lead to a safer tomorrow(( I also like this gesture to the broader significance of their dreams and aspirations.)) .
Word Count: 220
Admissions Officer Notes
- Topic: The writer has chosen a pretty interesting topic for this community essay that will most likely stand out among other candidates. More importantly, the community theyâve chosen to write about is one that they hold dear and have learned a lot from. The story connects in specific ways to who they are as a person and what their dreams and aspirations have come to be.
- Growth: The prompt asks how the community has âshapedâ your dreams and aspirations. This writer focuses on the progression of their aspirations while telling endearing stories about their relationship with their family members.
- Future goals: The writer explicitly states how this community has shaped how and what they want to do in the future.
What it could improve on:
- Pacing: Aside from describing your community, the main question of the prompt is how that community has shaped your dreams and aspirations. While the writer does get to an answer, they could spend more time in the essay focusing on that answer.
Diversity Essay: Bumpass
Prompt from Duke: We seek a diverse student body that embodies the wide range of human experience. In that context, we are interested in what youâd like to share about your lived experiences and how theyâve influenced how you think of yourself.
There((A great, interesting hook that also jumps into a connection with Duke.)) are more traffic lights on the Duke University campus than there are in my entire hometown.
I donât actually know how many traffic lights Duke has, but itâs a pretty safe bet that it has more than zero, which is how many we have here in Bumpass, Virginia.
Yes, Bumpass. Pronounced âbump-usâ.
Iâm from a weird little lake town in central Virginia((This paragraph gives us a clear picture of the writer's lived experiences.)) that has two types of residents: part-timers (thatâs what we call them), mostly from DC, Richmond, or Charlottesville, with million-plus dollar homes on Lake Anna. They swim and boat on the private side of the lake, which is heated (yes, the lake is heated) by a nuclear power plant. And then there are families like mine. The locals. Iâve always thought âworking classâ was a nice way for rich people to call poor people poor, but thatâs what we are. Families like mine clean the power plant. Iâve never swam in the private side, and our boat is a canoe.
Officially((And this paragraph gives us a good sense of how those lived experiences have influenced them.)) , Iâve had a job since my 16th birthday, which is the legal age in Virginia. But Iâve worked cleaning rental homes and fixing boats for part-timers with my uncle since I was old enough to use a Swiffer and turn a wrench. Iâve cleaned homes that cost more than my extended familyâs combined net worth, but oddly I enjoy it. When I see inside their homes, I have something to aspire to, and thatâs more than most of my hometown peers can say.
Success around here means making it through community college. Doing so in two years all without abusing alcohol or drugs? I donât know many people who have done that. But I want to bring my Bumpass experience to Duke.((Nice job bringing the story back to the connection with Duke.)) I know how to rise before the sun and get a dayâs worth of work in before noon. I know how to talk to goat farmers and postal workers (my best friendâs parents) just as well as neurosurgeons and pilots (my favorite part-timers whose docks I maintain in the off-season).
Iâm looking forward to learning from the diverse body at Duke, making friends from around the world, and gaining a better understanding of the world beyond Bumpass((This conclusion ties the essay together nicely and communicates good school fit.)) .
- Humor and personality: From the topic of the townâs name to the introduction, the writer uses humor (when appropriate) and clearly shows their own voice. They take an authentic approach to the diversity essay prompt. I feel like I know the student after reading this, which is always good.
- School Connections: While there arenât a ton of references to Duke here, the prompt doesnât necessarily ask for them. The writer still does a good job connecting their lived experience to how they see themself at Duke.
Personal Challenge Essay: Tutoring Charlotte
Prompt from Brown: Brownâs culture fosters a community in which students challenge the ideas of others and have their ideas challenged in return, promoting a deeper and clearer understanding of the complex issues confronting society. This active engagement in dialogue is as present outside the classroom as it is in academic spaces. Tell us about a time you were challenged by a perspective that differed from your own. How did you respond? (200-250 words)
Asking Charlotte to answer a math question was like asking a cat to take a bath. Her resistance was almost instinctual. When I first met her, I had been doing after-school tutoring for about six months. The program paired up high school students with middle schoolers who were falling behind in their classes. Charlotte was my first student and biggest challenge(( Nice wording to make it abundantly clear that the writer is answering the prompt)) .
At first, her unwillingness to try came across as lazy(( This sentence gets at what the prompt is asking for: âa perspective that differed from your ownâ)) . I used everything I had in my tutoring arsenal. I encouraged her to give her confidence, and I even brought candy to bribe her. To my dismay, nothing worked. Each time I introduced a new problem, Charlotte simply refused.
My frustration grew so immense that I caught myself being curt with her. When I saw the look of betrayal in her eyes, I was ashamed at my impatience(( Here we have an inciting incident and growth that resulted from a realization. The writer begins to address the âhow did you respond?â part of the prompt.)) . I realized that Charlotteâs struggles werenât her fault. Math has always come easy to me. Whereas every math problem I encounter is like a code Iâm excited to crack, Charlotte sees math problems as threats. After years of struggling, itâs no wonder that she stopped trying.
Once I understood that we approach math from different perspectives, I tried something new. I got rid of the math book and graph paper, and I brought out gummy bears. We did an algebra problem without her even knowing it. Together(( The writer zooms the focus out to a larger reflection about what they learned from this interaction. Nice.)) , we worked to overcome her fear of math. Along the way, I learned to teach the person, not the subject matter.
World Count: 247
- Topic choice: Personal Challenge prompts can be some of the most difficult, especially if you donât have a specific challenge youâve faced in your life. This writerâs topic choice works great. They show that you donât have to have a life-altering challenge to answer this prompt well.
- Clear narrative: This prompt is a lengthy one, but the writer has clearly read it and used it to structure the story. As a reader, itâs easy to follow along as the writer identifies the problem, works toward a solution, overcomes hurdles, and eventually comes out successful in the end.
- Connections: Different prompts require different levels of connections to the school. This writer incorporates some of Brownâs institutional values, but, especially since the prompt says so much about Brownâs community, the writer could have made more effort to connect their story to Brown.
Extracurricular Essay: Working Retail
Prompt from Vanderbilt: Vanderbilt offers a community where students find balance between their academic and social experiences. Please briefly elaborate on how one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences has influenced you.
â Would(( Beginning any essay with dialog can be hit or miss. But this is a hit. The dialog quickly captures the essence of working in retail and plops the reader directly into the writerâs extracurricular activity.)) you like another size? Sure thing, Iâll get a medium.â
âAre you interested in saving 10% today with an Old Navy Card? No, no worriesâŠâ
âI can clean the bathrooms if someone covers the fitting room!â
I didnât expect much from my first job. Mostly, I expected to earn $12 an hour and improve my denim folding skills at Old Navy. I didnât think I could learn so much about people and develop life skills.
As(( This paragraph could be a little more specific to the writer rather than their coworkers.)) odd as it may sound, retail work brought people together during COVID. I started in July of 2020. Our store had always met for monthly meetings, but everyone emphasized how much closer theyâd become since the pandemic. Stepping up to cover someoneâs shift when they got sickâor their spouse or child didâused to elicit a quick âthank you!â, but took on a more profound meaning in 2020. Though I started mid-pandemic, everyone I worked with remarked that, with a few notable exceptions, the overall demeanor of the clientele was much more empathetic. My coworkers seemed to go from sales associates to brave workers keeping the economy afloat overnight.
After about seven months of dutiful work, I was promoted(( The writer seamlessly incorporates the information that they earned a promotion after a relatively brief time of working at the store.)) to senior associate and had new responsibilities of closing and opening the store. Sure, I had dreams of working in an infectious disease lab. But having adults put real trust in me to account for several thousand dollars and secure a major outlet made me value and understand work perhaps even more than the research internship I missed out on(( I appreciate the perspective here. The writer makes a good argument for the importance of retail work, especially in relation to their academic interests.)) .
I am thankful for this opportunity to work and learn with a dedicated staff. Now, I look forward to pursuing more experiences that will relate to my career in biotech in college. Oh, and I wonât miss soliciting credit card sales with each purchase(( This humor bookends the essay wonderfully and adds some extra personality.)) !
- Focus on strengths: Maintaining the right focus in extracurricular essays can be tricky. It can be easy to get caught up in the details of the activity and brag too much or not enough. Especially with extracurricular activities that arenât based in competition, it can be challenging to draw out strengths. But this writer finds the perfect way to talk about their accomplishments and strengths (being promoted and being a team player) while also seeming personable and humble.
- Connection to future goals : Importantly, the writer doesnât just leave the story at their retail job. They show the admissions officer how they see this job as contributing toward their future goals.
- Transitions: The transitions between paragraphs and into the detail about a future biotech career could be smoother.
Why this Major: Watchers
Prompt from USC: Describe how you plan to pursue your academic interests and why you want to explore them at USC specifically. Please feel free to address your first- and second-choice major selections. (Approximately 250 words)
As a child(( I like how the writer takes a more creative approach to a standard âwhy this majorâ essay.)) , I always got in trouble for staring. My mom would nudge me whenever I looked at someone too long. My uncontrollable staring was an embarrassment for her, but itâs one of the things I love most about myself. Whereas some people are do-ers, I am a watcher, a listener, and a documenter(( We learn a lot about the writerâs personality here.)) . Like introverts and extroverts, the world needs both kinds of people.
Watchers have an admirable task: to see what exists and give it meaning. Thatâs exactly what I want to do while pursuing my academic interests in anthropology(( And at this point, we jump quickly into the connections between the opening story and the writerâs academic interests. )) . In particular, Iâm interested in learning about art, language, and culture in Russia. Pursuing a research career in anthropology would open up opportunities for me to do research for government offices and move toward my ultimate goal(( Incorporating a future goal that theyâre working towards is an effective approach.)) of working for the United Nations.
As(( This paragraph has a number of specific, detailed, and relevant connections to the school.)) a Visual Anthropology and Russian double major at USC, I would hone my social scientist skills and improve my Russian language abilities. Iâm also eager to participate in a directed internship and to connect with fellow watchers in the Anthropology and Global Studies club. The Center for Visual Anthropology, minor in Folklore and Popular Culture, and the anthropology-focused study abroad opportunity in St. Petersburg all converge to make USC the ideal place for me to learn.
With USCâs global focus and emphasis on creativity, research, and public service, I know that I could develop my watching skills into a successful anthropology career(( And the writer concludes by drawing on some of the institutionâs core values, which helps ground all of those disparate connections into something meaningful that the writer aligns themself with.)) .
- Writing style and storytelling: This essay shows that supplemental essays donât have to be boring. The writer opens with an interesting hook and writes about their major interest in a compelling way.
- School research and connections: The writer does a good job specifically answering the âhow you plan to pursue your academic interests and why you want to explore them at USCâ part of the prompt. Itâs clear that theyâve done their research, and the connections theyâve chosen to focus on make sense in the context of the story theyâve told. They also incorporate school values in addition to simple facts.
- Writing about school connections : To take this essay to the next level, the student could write about the school connections in a slightly more elegant way. As they are now, they feel quite list-like.
Academic Interest: Everyday History
Prompt from Barnard: At Barnard, academic inquiry starts with bold questions. What are some of the bold questions you have pondered that get you excited and why do they interest you? Tell us how you would explore these questions at Barnard. (max 300)
As I walked through the ancient city of Pompeii(( This is a beautiful hook that stops and makes the reader think, too.)) on a family vacation, I thought about the children. I imagined how scared they must have been when the volcano erupted, how they must have reached out to their caregivers for protection. When a large group of people mobbed through the alley next to us, I reached out to my own mother(( With a simple phrase, the writer shows the connection between themself and the people of the past who have captured their attention.)) as an anchor.
What interests me most about history is that the people of the past(( The writer adeptly transitions from a poetic introduction to a straightforward answer to the prompt.)) were just like us. They had likes and dislikes, they became frightened and love-struck and tired. While the history of royalty and great wars captures most peopleâs attention, what I want to study is the history of everyday people.
What(( These questions respond exactly to what the prompt is asking for. )) was it like to be a child in Pompeii? How did prisoners feel on their way to Australia? What kinds of recipes did the Aztecs cook?
I know that with Barnardâs culture of multidisciplinarity, discovery, and creative thinking, Iâd be able to pursue these questions and more(( The writer draws on Barnardâs own values and connects their interests, goals, and questions to specific offerings at Barnard.)) . In classes like Gender and Empire, Iâll learn about the ways European expansion was gendered. And in Children and Childhood in African History or Reproducing Inequalities: Family in Latin American History, Iâll be able to ask questions about the history of the family: How have family structures varied across time and place? What historical role have children played? In what ways have parenting practices changed and why?
While they may seem inconsequential for life today, I believe that answering these questions helps us better understand ourselves. With Barnardâs Building Strong Voices(( And they also reference out-of-the-classroom opportunities.)) mission, Iâll learn how to present my research and advocate for the importance of history.
The world needs more histories of everyday people. We have a lot to learn from them, and Barnardâs offerings will help me lead us to better historical and current understandings(( With this conclusion, itâs clear how Barnard will help the writer accomplish their goals. )) .
Word Count: 299
- Introduction: Academic interest essays are your chance to go all-in. The introduction to this essay does just that. Weâre immediately transported into this writerâs academic interest, and we begin to ask these questions alongside them.
- Answering all parts of the prompt: This can be a tricky feat when responding to complex prompts like Barnardâs. But this writer does just that. They tackle each part of the prompt in order, and they make clear transitions between them.
College Essay Example Takeaways
Whether youâre writing a personal statement or supplemental essay, reading and analyzing college essay examples is an important tool. Good examples can give you insight into the proper form and structure to use. And bad examples can be just as helpful by showing you what not to do.
All admissions officers will approach your college essays from different perspectives. But hopefully the grades and commentsâprovided by our team of former admissions officers and professional writing coachesâhave helped you understand what works, what doesnât work, and why.
As youâve seen, there are so many essays, topics, personalities, approachesâyou can write a college essay about almost anything.
If you want to take your own college essays to the next level, reach out about getting personalized application and essay support .
Frequently Asked Questions
Do admissions officers actually grade college essays, what makes a good college essay, will admissions officers read my essays.
But how closely they read your essays may be determined by other parts of your application, like your academics. We explain how admissions offices process applications in our 50k applications post.
Your essays can be the difference between you getting admitted or denied.
Liked that? Try this next.
How to Write a College Essay (Exercises + Examples)
How to Write Supplemental Essays that Will Impress Admissions Officers
9 Outstanding UC Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)
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College Essay Examples: 10 Best Examples of College Essays and Why They Worked
Collegeadvisor’s 10 best examples of college essays and why they worked.
The college essay is one of the most important parts of the college admissions processâand itâs also one of the hardest to complete. If youâre struggling to find the right college essay topics, youâre not alone. In this guide, weâll break down some of the best college essays to help you write a personal statement for college that will stand out .
Youâve likely written many essays over the course of your high school career. However, your personal statement for college may be the first time youâve been asked to write about yourself . Thatâs where our sample college essays can help.
The best college essays will reflect who you are, what matters to you, and why youâll enrich any college community you join. Thatâs a tall order, but looking at examples of college essays can help you as you begin the writing process. But before we dive into our sample college essays, letâs start with some basics.
What is a college essay?
A college essay is a piece of writing that responds to a given prompt, either on the Common App lication , Coalition Application , or on a schoolâs individual application. College essays can range anywhere from 50 to 800 words. There are two main types of college essays: personal statements and supplemental essays. In general, you will write one personal statement and submit it to every school you apply to. By contrast, youâll submit a different set of supplemental essays to each school.
Why do college essays matter in the admissions process?
Your college essays reflect parts of your identity that arenât clear from the rest of your application. While two students might have similar grades and extracurriculars, they wonât have the same college essays. That means that your college essays can make you stand out from the crowd. Our sample college essays can help you do just that.
In this guide, weâll walk you through sample college essays that address a wide variety of college essay topics. Weâll break down examples of college essays from every category so that you feel prepared to write your own. Each sample college essay weâve included in our college essay examples shows how you can use strong, intentional writing to approach a variety of college essay topics. By looking at these college essay examples, we hope you learn a lot about how to approach essay-writing.
Each school approaches college essay prompts differently. Each school may provide both required and optional college essay prompts. Most selective colleges will require you to write some kind of personal statement. Many also have school-specific supplemental college essay prompts and short answer questions. Below, sample college essays that worked show how students like you approached these prompts and impressed top schools.
For more tips about how to approach college essay topics and the writing process, check out our Essay Guides FAQ .
In this college essay examples guide, we’ll look at some examples of college essays and talk about why they succeeded. Our analysis will explain why these are a few of the best college essays that worked.
This includes a variety of essay types such as:
- Short essay examples
- Common App essay examples
- Examples of personal essays
- Supplemental essay examples (including why this college essay examples and why this major essay examples), and more.
Soon, weâll dive into our college essays examples and break down some examples of personal essays. But first, let’s talk about what makes a good college essay and how you can make sure your college essays stand out . As youâll see from our examples of college essays, there is no one right way to approach college essay prompts or one specific formula for writing the best college essays. However, as youâll learn from these sample college essays, there are still plenty of useful tips that can make your essays shine.
Good college essays and the college admissions process
As you start reviewing college essay prompts and looking at examples of college essays, you might find yourself wondering, âWhat are the common characteristics of good college essays?â
Each of our college application essay examples, from our Common App essay examples to our short essay examples, offer key insights into an applicantâs character. These sample college essays did a great job of answering their respective college essay prompts. As such, they each stood out to admissions teams as strong college application essay examples.
Later in this guide to college essay examples, we’ll break down the best college essays in detail. But first, let’s look at a few sample college essays to help you get an idea of what to think about as you learn how to write good college essays. These college essay examples provide valuable insight into how you can craft one of the best college essays admissions teams have ever seen.
Below is an excerpt from one of our successful personal essay examples:
One hundred and fifty bagels, all completely frozen. I couldnât believe it. My schoolâs Model UN Conference was to start in thirty minutes, and breakfast for the delegates was nowhere near ready. I looked with dismay at my friendsâ concerned faces peering out from behind piles of frozen bagels. As Secretary-General, it was my job to ensure that this conference went smoothly. However, it seemed that was not going to be the case. I took a moment to weigh my options before instructing Rachael, our âlogistics coordinator,â to heat up the frozen circles of doom in the home-ec room. I knew Rachael enjoyed baking, so I trusted her to find a way into the locked room and thaw the assortment of bagels.
Below is an excerpt from one of our successful why NYU essay examples:
The Bachelor of Science in Business Program excites me, as it entails a well rounded yet intensive study in core business disciplines. However, what draws me to Stern is the emphasis on gaining a global perspective, which is crucial in todayâs rapidly changing world economy. Through the International Business Exchange Program, I will be able to gain a first-hand cultural experience that will mold me into a global citizen and business leader. Not only will I be taking courses in the most prestigious business schools across the globe, but I will also have new doors opened for me to network with alumni.
As you can see, examples of college essays can look very different . What matters is that they are detailed, specific, and show the admissions team at any school why the writer would enrich campus lifeâall while answering the college essay prompts. When we look at more examples of college essays, we’ll discuss why these essaysâand other college essay examplesâworked so well.
We’ll break down:
- How they addressed their college essay prompts
- What kind of structure they followed
- What their unique strengths are
- Tips and tricks to use while writing your own college essays
As you start looking at examples of college essays, you may wonder how important they are to your application. The answer is: extremely.
Many top colleges and universities use a holistic process when reviewing applications. That means they evaluate your essays alongside your academic history, extracurriculars, and test scores to learn who you are, what has made you the person you are today, and what you might bring to a college campus.
As you will see from our Harvard essay examples and Stanford essay examples, the best college essays give applicants a chance to teach a school about the writer. Good college essays give schools a more complete idea of the person they will be inviting to join their student bodyâand they are the only chance a school has to learn who you are in your own words.
Providing details and telling your story
As you’ll see from our college essay examples, good college essays discuss important details that might not be clear from the rest of your application. Each of our Common App essay examples tells a specific story. Other college essay prompts, like the Stanford roommate essay, for instance, ask applicants to reflect on parts of their identity beyond their grades and test scores.
Many colleges have also tried to demystify the college application process and provide helpful resources. Some schools, like Johns Hopkins and Hamilton , even provide their own examples of college essays that worked, including Common App essay examples. This can give you a sense of what their admissions team looks for.
Youâll encounter many different college essay topics. Each of these will ask you to write about your experiences in a slightly different way. So, looking at different college essay samples (like a why this college essay example or a why this major essay example) can help you approach different college essay topics. Also, since the Common App essay is a crucial part of your application, youâll benefit from reading our Common App essay examples.
Later in this guide, weâll provide full sample college essays for you. This will include both Common App essay examples and short essay examples.
Keep reading to learn more about the different types of college essay topics. Then, weâll talk about the examples of college essays youâll find later in our college essay examples guide.
Types of college essay prompts youâll encounter
All college essay prompts will require your best writing and ideas. Understanding the differences between the types of college essay samples can help you learn how to approach your college essay prompts.
Our examples of college essays fall into two main categories:
- Personal Essay Examples (Common App essay examples/Coalition App essay examples/Personal essay examples)
- Supplemental Essay Examples (short essay examples)
Our different types of college essay examples will show how you might approach different topics and what your final essays may look like. For example, when comparing Common App essay examples and supplemental short essay examples, one significant difference between the two is the word count. When looking at short essay examples, youâll notice that the details you find in Common App essay examples donât fit within the short 150 word or 250 word limit. As youâll see in our short essay examples, short-form supplemental essays require you to make the most out of a limited number of words.
Exploring a variety of college essay samples will help prepare you to write your own. If you havenât narrowed down your school selection yet, you might not know what kinds of supplemental essays you will write or what examples of college essays you should read. In this case, start with our personal essay examplesâthat is, our Common App essay examples.
The Personal Statement
The most common type of essay youâll encounter is a personal statement for college. For most applications, youâll choose from a selection of prompts and write a longer essay (500 â 800 words) that speaks to your experiences, identity, and goals. Your personal statement for college tends to be the longest essay in your application. This means it may require more work to edit into a focused and compelling story. For inspiration, take a look at our Common App essay examples. Each of our Common App essay examples tells a story that the admissions team otherwise wouldnât know.
You will apply to colleges using the Common Application, the Coalition Application, or a school-specific portal. Each of these application portals will have their own unique prompts and specific word counts. However, all of our examples of personal essays serve a similar purpose and require a similar writing process.
Beyond your personal statement for college, many schools ask you to write school-specific supplemental essays. Our college application essay examples will cover a range of supplemental essay prompts, including why you are interested in a particular school or a particular major.
Some schools also offer a section where you can provide additional information that may have affected your grades or overall profile. This might include details about your home life or any special circumstances that created challenges for you.
In this college essay examples guide, weâll look at Common App essay examples to help you craft your personal statement.
The school-specific college essays that worked, we will review below include:
- Harvard essay examples
- Stanford essay examples
- UPenn supplemental essays
- Dartmouth essay examples
- Why NYU essay examples
- Why UChicago essay examples
This collection of college essays that worked will include short essay examples, including a why this college essay example and a why this major essay example. Before we break down these sample college essays, letâs look at what exactly makes the best college essays the best.
What makes the best college essays?
When looking at college essays that worked, whether personal essay examples or short essay examples, it may be challenging to discern exactly what makes a great sample college essay great. In our college essay examples guide, our examples of college essays (in addition to being correctly formatted ) have succeeded across a few criteria.
The criteria to keep in mind while you are considering how to write a successful essay are:
- Personality
You can apply these criteria to all of our college application essay examples, including our Common App essay examples, examples of personal essays, and short essay examples. A strong sample college essay, no matter the length, will use these three elements to create a compelling story that will show a school how you would enrich their campus.
In our examples of college essays, you’ll see that good college essays follow a thoughtfully composed structure. Since college essay prompts often have strict word limits, it is important to follow these examples of college essays and make sure your college essay flows. Strong personal essay examples usually tell a story that leaves the reader with a lasting impression.
Like our example college essays, your college essay should have a clear beginning, middle, and end. As youâll see in our college essay examples, particularly our examples of personal essays, there isnât one right way to structure your essay. Your structure could be chronological, funnel down from broad to specific, or start with a particular memory or experience and then expand out towards a greater perspective. No matter how you structure your essay, make sure your narrative remains clear.
Not all essays have to look the same
As you will see from our examples of college essays, your college essay can look any number of ways. The best college essays can take many forms â what’s important is that your college essay shows the admissions team who you are . Even as you look at college application essay examples inspired by a singular prompt, youâll find the topics they cover to be very different. However, one thing our college essay examples have in common is that they all showcase who the writer is while still answering the essay prompt.
As you read our examples of college essays and start writing your own, try to emphasize your own identity. Think about what is important to you, experiences that made you grow or changed you, times where you were challenged, or an a-ha moment that solidified a piece of who you are. Then, once youâve found a topic to write about, make sure it connects back to the original prompt. Even if you tell a fantastic story, if it doesnât answer the question in the prompt, youâll have missed the goal of the essay. If youâre still having trouble coming up with an essay topic, try this reflection exercise to help you brainstorm.
Standing out
Weâve chosen these college essay samples because they stood out in the admissions process. Besides being well-crafted, what makes a sample college essay stand out is personality. In this college essay examples guide, weâve included a range of Common App essay examples and short essay examples that embody different voices, tones, and styles.
As you read through our examples of college essays, you may get stuck on trying to pick a topic that is 100% unique or obviously impressive. Instead of worrying about what makes you unique from other applicants, focus on being honest and being true to yourself. Remember, no one is exactly like you. So, follow the blueprint our sample college essays provide, but stay true to who you are.
For example, if humor is a key part of your personality, let that side of you shine through in your essays! However, if you read a hilarious college essay example but donât naturally use humor yourself, donât try to replicate someone elseâs voice. The best college essay examples reflect students who knew who they were, what they wanted to say, and how they wanted to say it.
Our sample college essays show why it’s important to take care as you craft your personal statement and supplemental essays. But what exactly made these examples of college essays work, and how can you replicate these sample college essays in your own admissions process?
How to use these college essay examples
Wondering how to use these essays to write your own college admission essay examples about yourself?
Weâve given some background on why weâve included certain college application essay examples. Weâve also discussed what you can learn from the different types of college essay samples. Now, you might ask yourself, âHow should I use these college application essay examples to start writing my own?â
Each college essay example addresses a unique prompt within a specific word count. So, our Common App essay examples may be more helpful to reference when writing your personal statement. Our short essay examples, by contrast, may be more helpful as you tackle your supplemental essays.
Think of these college essay examples, including Harvard essay examples and Stanford essay examples, as a resource. We know the college admissions process can be overwhelming . Thatâs why we are committed to providing you with resources and essay tips to help you navigate your college applications.
These college essays that worked should inspire you. As you read over these college essay samples, use these examples of college essays as a guide, not a blueprint. Your college essay should be original and entirely your own work. However, by looking at these sample college essays, you’ll get an idea of what to highlight as you tell your authentic story .
Coming up: college admission essay examples about yourself
So far, we’ve taken a peek at some examples of college essays. We hope these college essay samples will help you jumpstart your writing process. Now, you know a little bit about what goes into selecting a college essay example and why these college essay samples work. Itâs time to take a deep dive into writing college admission essay examples about yourself.
Next, weâll dig into some examples of college essays and think about how to write college admission essay examples about yourself. First, weâll look at some Common App essay examples to help you write your personal statement. As you read through our examples of personal essays, we will break down why these Common App essay examples work and how you can craft your own effective personal statement.
Common App Essay ExamplesâHow to approach your personal statement for college
Are you furiously googling âcollege admission essay examples about yourselfâ? Youâre not alone. Writing good responses to college essay topics is one of the most difficult parts of the application process. With so many college essay prompts and college essay samples out there, it’s hard to know where to start. Thatâs why weâve provided the following examples of personal essays based on a variety of college essay topics.
This section will focus on Common App essay examplesâthat is, college admission essay examples about yourself. Weâll unpack two examples of college essays that worked and analyze what made them effective. The Common App essay will be a crucial part of your application to nearly every school on your list. Reviewing other college application essay examples is a great way to improve your own writing.
Each of these examples of college essays comes from our advisor network. Moreover, every sample college essay helped its writer get into a top school. So, they are all good examples of personal essays to use as you start your writing process.
Getting started with examples of college essays
Writing a personal statement for college isnât easy. Itâs natural to look for college admission essay examples about yourself to help. However, if you want to be competitive at top schools, you need to make sure that your Common App essayâlike these Common App essay examplesâis the best it can be. Many examples of college essays struggle to leave a lasting impression on readers. Also, many students struggle to choose the right college essay topics. These Common App essay examples will teach you how to do just that.
Letâs dig into some personal essay examplesâor college admission essay examples about yourself. Each of these college essay samples relates to one of the Common App essay prompts. These examples of personal essays each tell stories about the writers that arenât clear from the rest of their application; thatâs why our college essay examples were successful at top schools.
Our guide will walk you through these examples of college essays and show you how to write one of the best college essays you can. Later on, we break down why these sample college essays were successful and show you how you can replicate that success in your own personal statement for college.
Common App EssayâExample 1: Elinor
The first of our Common App essay examples comes from a student named Elinor. In the first of our personal essay examples, she highlights her involvement in a club in an innovative and exciting way. Her tone, structure, and style each help her essay stand out from other examples of college essays.
Below is the full text for the first of our examples of college essays. Later, weâll discuss what makes this sample college essay one of the best college essay samples to look at.
Elinor’s Common App Essay:
One hundred and fifty bagels, all completely frozen. I couldnât believe it. My schoolâs Model UN Conference was to start in thirty minutes, and breakfast for the delegates was nowhere near ready. I looked with dismay at my friendsâ concerned faces peering out from behind piles of frozen bagels. As Secretary-General, it was my job to ensure that this conference went smoothly. However, it seemed that was not going to be the case. I took a moment to weigh my options before instructing Rachael, our âlogistics coordinator,â to heat up the frozen circles of doom in the home-ec room. I knew Rachael enjoyed baking, so I trusted her to find a way into the locked room and thaw the assortment of bagels. Cold bagels were not the only thing weighing heavily on my mind that morning. As I walked from classroom to classroom helping set up committees, I couldnât help but feel nervous. Our conference wasnât going to be like those of the private schools- there were no engraved pens or stylish water bottles. Instead, people got post-it notes and whatever pens we could steal from the supply closet. Forcing myself to stop worrying, I chose instead to think of why we made that choice. Since most of the food was donated, and all of the supplies had been âborrowedâ from the supply closet, we could afford to charge only a nominal fee to everyone attending. Making Model UN accessible was one of my top priorities as Secretary-General; the same desire motivated me to begin including middle school students in the club. I hurried back down to the cafeteria, and was relieved to see that all the bagels looked warm and ready to eat. The bagels would not be the sole crisis that day. As debates were about to start, one of the Chairs sent me a panic stricken text: âWe only have 5 people in our committee! We canât reenact the creation of the Treaty of Versailles!â I hurried to where his debate was taking place, and sure enough, only five people were there. I quickly considered my options- cancel the committee? Convince some delegates to switch into this debate through bagel bribery? Or maybe, come up with a completely new topic? I settled on idea number three. But what topic could a committee of only five people spend a day discussing? I mulled it over until an idea began to form. I explained to the room, âEach one of you will represent one of the five major Democratic and Republican presidential candidates. The chair will guide you as you tweet, make campaign videos, and debate the most important political issues.â I spent a few minutes figuring out how to go about moderating such an unconventional committee, before heading off to check in on the other debates. As I walked from committee to committee, fixing problems and helping move debates along, I felt a sense of pride. I had spent months working on this conference, along with the other members of my team. At times, I worried I could never pull it off. A part of me had wished our faculty advisor would just organize the whole thing for us. After all, Iâm just a high schooler, how could I put together such a big event? But as the day went by, I realized that with the help of my peers, I had done it. All the little crises that cropped up werenât because I was doing a bad job; they were inevitable. The fact that I could find solutions to such a wide variety of problems was a testament to my leadership skills, and my level-headedness. I didnât just feel like a leaderâI felt like an adult. As I look towards my future in college and later the workforce, I know that I can succeed, even if my obstacles seem as insurmountable as a mountain of frozen bagels.
Reflecting on this sample college essay
The first of our college essay examples certainly deserves its spot among the best college essays. This sample college essay works in large part because of its opening. The first sentence of Elinorâs Common App essay makes the reader want to continueâwhat happened to the bagels? How will Elinor solve this problem? Examples of college essays with strong introductions draw the reader in. In addition, an inspiring first sentence sets the tone for the rest of the essay. The frozen bagels in this college essay example create tension that draws the reader in.
Often, good examples of college essays also read like short stories in which the writer is the main character. While Elinor does mention other people in her Common App essay, she remains focused on her own actions and emotional state. In the third paragraph, she describes in detail how she responded to a crisis. She first explains her thought process, then she tells us what action she took to address the crisis.
As you comb through various college admission essay examples about yourself, you should keep your own identity in mind. Strong examples of personal essays should contain personal details about the writer. College essay topics are designed to get to know you on a personal level. Strong examples of college essays use every chance to showcase the writerâs positive qualities.
Tell YOUR story
The best Common App essay examples tell a story about the author. These college essay examples are no exception. Often, strong sample college essays use a story to show who a student is. Elinor uses the story of her model UN conference to show her leadership , maturity, and problem-solving skills. Like any good story, Elinorâs personal statement for college contains obstacles for her to overcome and challenges to face. By presenting these examples and discussing her responses, Elinorâs Common App essay shows that she is ready for the challenges ahead.
The best college essays show information rather than just telling it. Itâs one thing to tell readers you are a proactive leader in college admission essay examples about yourself; itâs another to show it through your actions. In the second paragraph of her personal statement for college, Elinor states that she wanted to make model UN accessible as Secretary General. She then goes into detail about how she accomplished that goal by organizing food donations and only charging a small fee for attending the conference. In these Common App essay examples, the writers use details and evidence to showcase their best qualities.
Elinorâs sample college essay also contains a strong conclusion. She illustrates what she has learned about herself from this experience and in doing so, helps the admissions team learn more about her. In this college essay example, Elinor clearly shows the kind of student she would be and how she would enrich campus life. The best college application essay examples show readers why students should be admitted through evidence and storytelling. Our Common App essay examples each accomplish that goal.
Common App EssayâExample 2: Arham
The second of our Common App essay examples uses a different strategy to the first. However, it is still one of the top examples of personal essays. The next author of our college essay examples, Arham, starts with a very specific moment from his fifth grade class. He then explains how that moment has affected his life.
While some examples of personal essays are about a recent event, other personal essay examples show the authorâs development over a longer period of time. To understand why this is among the best college application essay examples, let’s look at the essay itself and how it employs techniques often found in the best college essay examples.
Arham’s Common App Essay:
An hour into President Obama’s inauguration, I stifled a yawn and raised my hand. “Ms. Edgell, who did you vote for?” Instantly, nineteen fifth-graders shattered the silence: “Of course she voted Republican!â “No, she’s a Democrat!” “Obama was born in Kenya!” “Don’t ask people about their politics,” she chided. “So . . . you’re a Republican!” “Arham. Outside.” As Ms. Edgell fruitlessly tried to explain that politics didn’t belong in the classroom, I struggled to suppress a smile–I couldnât help it. For a few moments, fifth gradeâs single-variable algebra and spelling tests had been replaced by a more intriguing conversation: one without a definitive answer. Snippets of boisterous debate continued to drift through the closed door, and I was eager to rejoin the conversation–that day, I learned disagreements were fascinating. Eager to understand the âwhyâ of each and every belief, I turned to my living room: a constant cacophony of political commentary, occasionally punctuated by my fatherâs frustrated jabs at the pause button and exasperated interjections. In my quest to decipher the cryptic nightly news, my parents became my personal dictionary, fielding a nightly barrage of questions. Forget just explaining where babies come from–over the next four years, I asked them to articulate almost every conceivable stance on gun control, abortion, and the death penalty. Through that television screen, I first encountered the full diversity of human opinions, and I was enthralled; I wanted to triumph in every dispute. Dodging my parentsâ dinnertime queries of how my day went, I delved into new lines of questioning: the viability of Medicare for All, the feasibility of 100% green energy, the merits of chicken tikka masala mac & cheese fusion. After watching the 2016 Presidential Debate, I spent hours pondering the economic consequences of a more cohesive border–sadly, the living room walls didn’t offer much feedback on my ideas. Soon, I realized that some of my âsolutionsâ were a bit near-sighted; eliminating poverty by printing money wasnât exactly the modern-day Wealth of Nations, and the solution to global warming was a tad more nuanced than planting trees. I learned that I wouldnât always be right–instead, the desire to win was slowly replaced by a yearning to understand. With every discussion, I synthesized new information, pinpointed gaps in my knowledge, and reevaluated my views; then, aided by the latest edition of The Economist and a plethora of Google searches, I’d unearth the next set of questions. Late nights in my living room have defined a lifelong passion: using disagreements as a lens to explore, understand, and influence the world. In Congressman DeSaulnier’s officeâwhere interns were instructed to hang up on adversarial callersâI instead found myself engrossed in half-hour conversations with frustrated constituents. There, I delved beneath the partisan rhetoric to truly understand why people support a wall, desire nationalized healthcare, or champion coal–and, in return, I offered a bit of my own worldview. On elevators, Iâve been known to strike conversation on the whimsical (Should gyms offer a package where you pay for every day you donât go?); overseas, I invite teams from Germany, Singapore, and Mexico to opine on whether or not Amazon should be considered a monopoly. Whether it’s discussing capitalism or everyday life, the resulting conversations shed light on our culture, upbringing, and aspirations–the willingness to disagree is what builds rapport. In recognition of that, I beckon for dialogue; I constantly invite the world to teach me more. In fifth grade, I learned that we fear disagreement–feigning unity will always be more comfortable. But, through ignoring each other’s most fundamental beliefs, we simultaneously abandon our ability to understand our peers. In my living room, disagreements provided a venue for questioning and navigating a world of conflicting perspectives: though I didnât know it at the time, they set the stage for a lifetime of questioning. So, be it in the classroom, through a phone call, or on stage, I continue to raise my hand.”
Why is this a college essay that works
As we saw in the first of our college essay examples, one reason this sample college essay is effective is that it engages the reader from the very first sentence. The author uses the technique of in medias res , which is often found in strong personal essay examples. Instead of beginning the essay with exposition, the author begins with a quote that places the reader in the middle of a riveting conversation. This strategy makes the best Common App essay examples interesting to read and helps the best college essays stand out from the rest.
Another feature that characterizes the best college essay examples is varied and interesting word choice. This doesnât mean you need to use words in your writing that you wouldnât ordinarily use. In our examples of college essays, the writers donât just throw around SAT words. Instead, these successful examples of college essays use carefully chosen words to elevate the quality of the writing and heighten emotional tension. The phrase âshattered the silenceâ from the second paragraph is a perfect example of how a vivid word can instantly improve a sentence. In addition, the phrase âconstant cacophony of political commentaryâ shows how employing poetic devicesâin this case, alliterationâcan make college essay examples more fun to read.
So, what makes the second of our college essay examples shine? This personal statement for college works because it presents a compelling story about a young boy slowly learning how to express his opinions and refining his beliefs. Many of the best examples of college essays show a process of growth or transformation. These transformations require struggle, and good college essays embrace that struggle and present it openly to readers.
The value of authenticity
This brings us to another key feature of our college essay examples: authenticity. Some students have the misconception that the best college essays should only portray your good qualities. However, this is not the case. Instead, the most successful personal essay examples address their authorsâ shortcomings and explain how they have worked to overcome them.
Honesty and authenticity permeate these college essay samples. Arhamâs example college essay reveals his genuine passion for debate. He provides several examples, both personal and academic, that demonstrate his interest in that topic. Importantly, successful Common App essay examples include details not present in other areas of your application. This gives readers a more personal look into your values. These examples of college essays reveal the quirks and obsessions that round out the authorâs personality and set him apart from his peers.
Both of these successful examples of college essays contain strong conclusions that look ahead to the future. These personal essay examples provide insight into how the writers will contribute to a college community. Arham uses the phrase âlifetime of questioningâ to show that he will bring his curiosity and thirst for knowledge to whatever college he attends. Good college application essay examples show readers why they should accept you and what you will bring to their campus.
Although these examples of college essays are different from each other, they were both successful for a variety of reasons. Now letâs look at how to replicate these examples of college essays in your own writing!
Personal Essay ExamplesâHow to get started writing your own college essays that work
Do you feel ready to sit down and write your own personal statement for college? Letâs break down some tips to help you use our sample college essays to write your own. Be aware that every writer has their own personal style. So, try to find ways to make these tips work for your own college admission essay examples about yourself!
So, what can we learn from these college application essay examples? Reflecting on these two Common App essay examples, there are several steps you can take in your own writing process to craft a college essay that works for top schools.
In addition to reviewing other examples of college essays, we recommend that you do some prewriting exercises to help you write the best college essays you can. First, take a moment to review your candidate profile. Then, decide on what 3-5 adjectives you would use to describe yourself. After youâve reviewed our college essay examples, click here for a list of strong adjectives you might use.
Consider the word count
This exercise helps focus your essay on the most important themes. Because college essay topics are so broad, students want to cover as much ground as possible. However, the best Common App essay examples recognize the limits set by the word count. With this in mind, these examples of college essays use specific details to illustrate broad concepts. You may have a lot to share, but the best college essays highlight qualities not found elsewhere in your application. Reflect on our personal essay examples as you write. Instead of rehashing your extracurricular achievements, follow the lead of our Common App essay examples. Tell a story the admissions team hasnât heard.
After you have your five adjectives, look over the Common Applicationâs college essay prompts. Then, choose one that lets you showcase the qualities you selected earlier. When writing college admission essay examples about yourself, itâs better to tell a single story in vivid detail than to write a broad survey of all your accomplishments. The first of our Common App essay examples focused on a single day of Elinorâs high school career. She then uses this anecdote to make a larger claim about her ability to solve problems. The second of the college essay samples starts with the story of a single fifth grade class before broadening out to other topics. As you choose your college essay topics, keep specificity in mind.
Expect to write multiple drafts
The best college essays take multiple drafts. So, make sure you allow yourself enough time to write your personal statement for college. The college application essay examples in this guide werenât written in a day. Rather, these college essay examples each went through several drafts to become good college essays. So, take a cue from our examples of personal essays. After you write the first draft of your Common App essay, review it after a day or two. This will help you approach it with a fresh perspective. Having others review your writing can also help transform good college essays into the best college essays.
There is no single formula for writing good college essays. However, you can learn to develop your own voice by reading articles and reviewing sample college essays written by other students. As weâve stated, examples of personal essays can help you find your own voice and narrative as you start the writing process. This article from U.S. News contains more college essay examples along with short essay examples of supplemental prompts. It also provides advice from admissions counselors about how to write college application essay examples that stand out from other examples of personal essays. Top colleges like Tufts , Johns Hopkins , and Connecticut College often post examples of college essays that worked for their schools. Reading Harvard essay examples along with other college essay samples from top schools gives you a sense of what it takes to get into top schools.
Showing vs. telling
With the above Common App essay examples, we’ve presented two college essays that worked. Both of these college application essay examples showârather than tellâthe reader important details about the applicant’s identity. These college essay examples show what kinds of students these writers would be on campus. Based on these sample college essays, top schools could imagine these students in their communities. Thatâs why these examples of college essays stand out.
Beyond the Common App Essay
These Common App essay examples are not the only personal essay examples we will look at in this guide. Next, weâll discuss supplemental college essay examplesâshort essay examples that usually range between one hundred and four hundred words.
These college essay prompts are unique to the schools that assign them. However, looking at many different short essay examples will help you prepare for the variety of college essay prompts you may encounter. Letâs take a look at these examples of college essays!
Short essay examples: What types of college essay topics will you see?
Now that you have some useful Common App essay examples to use as you write your personal statement for college, let’s look at some other examples of college essays. As we mentioned, there are several types of college essays .
The short essay examples weâll discuss effectively and efficiently answer the prompt. Keep in mind that you will often work within the constraints of a word limit. Reading examples of college essays will help you learn this writing style. Still, remember that the best college essays will reflect your own voice. Once again, use our examples of college essays as a guideâdonât try to be someone youâre not.
In this section, we’ll focus on four main types of supplemental college essay samples. These include why this college essay examples, why this major essay examples, other less typical supplemental essay examples, and “additional information” essay examples. As we look at these examples of college essays, we’ll focus on what made these some of the best college essays out there. We’ll talk about what makes each of these college essay examples uniqueâand how you can use them as you craft your own college essays.
Our college essay examples shouldnât hold you back. Donât feel limited to the same or similar college essay topics that you read in our college essay examples. Reading some short essay samples or Common App essay samples may help you brainstorm, but the stories you tell should be uniquely yours. When reading college application essay examples, keep in mind that authenticity will impress colleges the most.
‘Why this college’ essay
First, let’s break down some why this college essay examples. As you’ll see from our examples of successful essays, your why this college essay should discuss in detail what attracts you to that particular school.
Many colleges will require you to write an essay about why you want to attend that particular school. Good college essays that answer these prompts will reflect a given schoolâs mission, opportunities, and personality. When you read successful why NYU essay examples, why Stanford essay examples, or why UPenn supplemental essays, youâll notice that the writer isnât afraid to be specific.
Questions to consider
What classes will you take? Is there a professor whose work inspires you? What clubs will you join? The best examples of college essays are detailed and convincing . When reading short essay examples, notice how many details the writers include. Then, think about how you can include details with the same specificityâbut ones that are applicable to your life, plans, and interests.
Most schools will have their own supplemental essays. This is one area where Common App essay examples and supplemental college essay examples will differ. Our Common App essay samples were submitted to all colleges, while these short essay examples were submitted to individual colleges.
As our example why this college essays show, itâs important to research the schools on your list before you complete any college essay prompts. Why this college essays that work establish three thingsâa personal anecdote, details about the collegeâs offerings, and the connection between a writerâs personal story and the college. Essentially, the best college essays help the reader visualize how a student will succeed at that school.
A ‘Why Dartmouth’ essay that worked
Why this college essay examples are a useful tool as you prepare your application for any top school. When reading this Dartmouth essay, pay attention to the clearly articulated and cohesive details. The best college essay examples will be easy to read and convey lots of information in a limited number of words.
I always had a keen interest in numbers, probability, and finance. Early on, I could quickly calculate sales tax, analyze probabilities, and visualize complex mathematical models. After taking AP classes in economics and statistics, I became intrigued with mathematical representations for economic markets and statistical models. This sparked my desire to pursue an actuarial career to utilize my talents in quantitative reasoning. The Major in Mathematical Data Science will provide me the skills to apply abstract mathematical and statistical theories to the concrete world. I will also have the opportunity to stimulate my academic intrigue through an intensive research project.
Good college essays do more than discuss why the applicant wants to study their major. They also go beyond why that school would be a good fit for their interests. College essays that worked also show why the applicant would make that school a better place.
As this Dartmouth essay shows , the best college essays illustrate a track record of involvement to support the applicantâs proposed path forward. In this Dartmouth essay, the applicant plans to become an actuary. Given this studentâs background, this feels like an attainable and sincere goal.
Something else to note about this Dartmouth essay is that the writer doesnât use big fancy words or elaborate sentence structure. Good college essays are well-planned, written intentionally, and free from errors. However, they still sound like high schoolers wrote them! Like our examples of college essays, your short essays should feel natural and authentic.
‘Why UChicago’ essay examples
Why UChicago essay examples provide useful insight into what UChicago âand other top schools âlook for when evaluating applicants. These Why UChicago essay examples also have qualities that you can think about when looking at Stanford essay examples, why NYU essay examples, or others!
Ex. 1: ‘Why UChicago’ essay example
When I visited UChicago, a friend invited me to step into her Comparative Literature class: Monstrosity and the Monstrous. Desperate for refuge from the cold (as a Bay Area resident, I hadnât packed for the Chicago winter), I quickly obliged. I expected to silently observe, but when I mentioned that Iâd read Antigone, her professor was thrilled–he immediately invited me into the discussion. For an hour and a half, we weighed the pros and cons of civil disobedience: did Antigoneâs actions permanently destabilize Thebes, and in the modern day, when does protesting against a government cross the line? Was Antigone justified in interpreting the will of the gods? And, if so, would Sophocles support pardoning well-intentioned criminals? Beyond the enthralling analysis of the play, I was captivated by the spirit of UChicago: a campus that invites everyone (including a loitering high school student) to contribute and develop their ideas.
In this first section of our UChicago short essay examples, notice that the writer shows a knowledge of campus based on their campus visit and research. Though UChicago does not track demonstrated interest , the best college essay examples include references to visits, school-specific events, and specific details about the schoolâs offer. This establishes a connection between the reader and the writer. Strong college essay samples will show genuine interest.
When reading examples of college essays, you should also think about the tone. In the first excerpt of these college application essay examples, the tone is passionate and enthusiastic. The tone of this sample college essay conveys excitement, and the reader can almost see the applicant walking around campus. Letâs read more UChicago essay examples:
Ex. 2: ‘Why UChicago’ essay example
Now, itâs surreal to imagine taking âThe Economics of Crimeâ from someone as renowned as Professor Levitt (Iâve been a fan since reading Freakonomics) and staying after class to clarify the finer points of the latest Freakonomics podcast (I particularly enjoyed âSpeak Softly and Carry Big Data,â on using data analysis to perfect foreign policy decisions). I hope to add to UChicagoâs legacy of pushing the boundaries of our economic understanding by participating in undergraduate research, and perhaps put my findings to use through crafting social policy for the Harris Schoolâs Public Policy Practicum. Prior to graduating, Iâll sample tastes of future careers through the Fried Public Policy and Service Program or the Trott Business Program. Simultaneously, as someone who enjoys conversing and respectfully challenging ideas, I look forward to immersing myself in the Core Curriculum and obtaining a strong foundation of knowledge. Above all, I appreciate that UChicago teaches students how to think, encourages dialogue, and prompts students to question norms.
Showcase your various interests
In this sample college essay excerpt, the author reveals a strong passion for learning. In this and many other why this college essay samples, the writer doesnât focus solely on one academic area. Instead, the best college essays reveal qualities and traits of someone who is eager to explore a variety of interests.
Another strength of this sample college essay excerpt is that it sticks to the facts. The best college essays limit overly emotional appeals, avoid clichĂ© phrases, and donât make vague statements about the future. Youâll see many examples of college essays that acknowledge a degree of uncertainty about what the author will studyâand thatâs okay! As our examples of college essays show, you donât need to have everything figured out.
Note too, that both excerpts of UChicago college application essay examples are part of a much longer essay. The UChicago supplement is closer in length to Common App essay examples. Though the college essay topics are different for UChicago, you can learn from reading Common App essay examples, too!
For more examples of college essays from UChicago, check out this article!
‘Why this college’ essaysâAdditional tips
There are a few more tips to learn from reading these examples of college essays. First, notice that you have a lot of freedom to choose your college essay topics. All that matters is that you discuss why you want to go to that particular college. Perhaps you are attracted to a niche academic program, or maybe you want to combine two of your interests and engage with an institute on campus.
Also, choose your college essay topics and words carefully. Effective college essay samples avoid âspendingâ words complimenting colleges, telling them information they already know, or regurgitating marketing materials. Strong examples of college essays donât focus on rankings, acceptance rates, or prestige. Writing about the beautiful buildings, the weather, or the student body size will seldom effectively answer college essay prompts.
Dig deep and make connections
The most effective college essay examples mention major-specific electives or particular clubs. Most importantly, theyâll explain why these programs matter to the writer. You will notice that college application essay examples often describe how college will be an extension of existing passions, interests, and activities.
In these why this college essay examples, the writers each point to specific reasons why they would like to attend their respective schools. These why this college essays are detailed and specific. Both of these sample essays showcase what their writers would bring to a college campus and how they would benefit from attending their respective schools.
As you start writing, think about our college admission essay examples about yourself. Stay true to your identity, be specific, and tell a storyâthen, you have a great chance of writing the best college essays you can.
‘Why this major’ essay examples
Next, let’s discuss some why this major college essay prompts. A why this major essay tells the admissions team what inspires you about your chosen field. By reading our why this major essay examples, you can understand how to discuss your academic interests in an engaging way that tells the admissions team more about your identity and passions. Letâs read some sample college essays.
Ex.1: UPenn ‘Why this major’ essay
The University of Pennsylvania, with its strong emphasis on pre-professional learning is ideal as a learning environment. That focus is what drives many students with an eye to the future — we hope to apply our learning, impact the real world in ways that inspire change. I find the Cognitive Science program, specifically its concentration in Language and Mind most appealing. As someone who places great emphasis in words, the idea of analyzing the cognitive aspects behind linguistics, whether philosophically, psychologically, or computationally draws upon various fields that showcase various perspectives on the meanings of language. Itâs fascinating that despite the various languages and cultures there can be a biological scientific breakdown explaining the complex processes underlying syntax and semantics.
Ex. 2: Brown University ‘Why this major’ essay
As someone who places great emphasis in words, the idea of analyzing the cognitive aspects behind linguistics, whether philosophically, psychologically, or computationally fits my ideal of using interdisciplinary methods to study human behavior holistically. I am also concerned with quantitative methods. For example, AP Psychology allowed me to talk about the ethics and methodology. I had read about the Asch conformity tests. But when my teacher set up the experiment with three classmates as subjects and the rest of us as confederates, two subjects did not conform; our ratio of nonconformity was lower than Asch had found. Could it be a trait of the magnet population and experience? Should I remain pre-med, a strong background in neuroscience will support my study of anatomy and help me become a better physician. Directly linking biology and behavior, Cognitive Neuroscience will contribute to my holistic view of my patients.
Express your passion and curiosity
Each of these why this major essay examples gives the reader a sense of the writer’s intellectual passions. These why this major essay examples are clearly written, specific, and personal. When reading these examples of college essays, notice how detailed they are. For example, âI find the Cognitive Science program, specifically its concentration in Language and Mind most appealing.â Good college essays dig underneath the surface. Winning essays will identify how and why a student connects with their identified major or program.
Note too, that the author of the Brown sample college essay build a clear connection between their past experiences in high school (âFor example, AP Psychology allowed me to talk about the ethics and methodologyâ) and future goals in college (âShould I remain pre-med, a strong background in neuroscience will support my study of anatomy and help me become a better physician. Directly linking biology and behavior, Cognitive Neuroscience will contribute to my holistic view of my patients.â)
Content comes first
As you can see in these examples of college essays, itâs crucial to focus on the content of the essay. So, when you write, complete all college essay prompts with specific details about why you want to attend that college. This will improve your overall application narrative. And, donât forget to make that narrative cohesive. Strong college application essay examples tie extracurriculars, background , and identity together with future plans.
Whether youâre writing UPenn supplemental essays or Brown supplemental essays, try to write about interdisciplinary interests if possible. Youâre likely interested in more than one area, and many schools offer majors, minors, and certifications with unique combinations. Many short essay examples will go beyond the surface to discuss how the applicantâs seemingly disparate interests mesh.
These college admission essay examples about yourself might raise some questions. Inevitably, some of you reading college essay samples are asking, âwhat if I donât know what major I want to study?â Of course, college essays that worked can come from students who are certain of their future career. However, they can also come from students who change their major multiple times.
So, donât panic if you havenât chosen a major. Instead, look at how you spend your time. What excites you now? College essay prompts give you the flexibility to expand on your reasoning.
Unconventional college essay topics
Some supplemental essay prompts aren’t as straightforward as the why this major or why this college essay examples. For instance, Stanford has some unconventional college essay prompts that help the admissions team learn more about each student. Stanford asks students to write letters to their future roommate. So, let’s look at some Stanford roommate essay examples.
Stanford roommate essay
Stanford roommate essay examplesâlike any college essay examplesâcan be helpful as you craft your application for Stanford or any other top school. Unlike some examples of college essays, the question these Stanford roommate essay examples answer is a bit more personal. College essay prompts like these give you the chance to show off what makes you unique. The best college essays for these types of prompts will show off your unique character.
When tasked with writing an unconventional essay like the Stanford roommate essay, itâs helpful to look at a few examples of college essays. These will help give you a feel for college essays that worked. Letâs read two sample college essays.
Ex.1: Stanford Roommate Essay
In the spirit of inaugurating the life-long relationship I hope weâll build this year, let me tell you a little about myself. Hi, Iâm Allison. Iâm the second child of a comically over-optimistic refugee mother (my Vietnamese name translates, literally, to âcelestial beingâ) and a proud Kentuckian with a deep passion for student-driven advocacy. I have two parents, two stepparents, a nineteen-year-old sister (a junior in Product Design, here, at Stanford), a three-year-old half-sister, two cats, one dog, and a complicated life that spans two households. So, Iâm used to sharing space and managing shifting schedules. Iâve also always been the âMomâ friend. To me, the little thingsâa chocolate chip cookie when I know a friend has a rough day ahead, words of encouragement before a big presentation, or staying up late to explain a tough physics problemâmean the most. Iâll be there when you need meâbe it studying for tests or navigating personal challenges. I recycle incessantly and am known to snatch cans out of the trash, wash them, and relocate them to neighboring blue bins. I keep a regular sleep schedule, rarely going to bed past midnight or waking up later than 8:30. Iâm averse to gyms, opting instead to go for runs in the morning or follow along to a YouTube workout in the afternoon. Iâm passionate, but also even-keeled. I think life is best taken in strideâworrying has never gotten me anywhere, but flexibility has taken me everywhere. I look forward to an awesome year!
Ex.2: Stanford Roommate Essay
Hey Roomie! Yesterday was insane. I still canât quite get over the energy in that stadium after that final play. I guess Berkeley couldnât take back the axe to cut down these Trees! Iâm writing you this since I have an 8:30 Syntax and Morphology with Dr. Gribanov. I know, itâs early, but that class is honestly worth waking up for. Last Friday, he spent the entire period rambling about why regardless and irregardless are the same thing, but responsible and irresponsible arenât. Just a fun little thought to start your day. Iâm also writing you this as a quick apology. I wonât be back from Mock Trial until late evening, and then Iâll be practicing for Stanford Symphony auditions. So, if you hear cacophonous noises in your sleep, itâs most likely me. Plus, itâs Mahler Symphony No. 1, so you might not sleep much anyway. Kidding. These next few days are jam-packed, but Iâm craving some much-needed bonding time! I have a proposal: how does a jam session this Friday at Terman Fountain sound? Iâll bring the guitar and plenty of oldies sheet music, you just gotta bring a snack and the desire to sing! Iâve sold a few people already. Join us? Well, Iâm headed to breakfast now. Text me if you want me to grab you anything.
Casual tone and style
These examples of college essays have a more casual tone and style. This works because it fits the prompt for the Stanford roommate essay. Writing a formal styled response in this case would be inappropriate. Instead, in these college application essay examples, both authors discuss their quirks, interests, habits, and personalities . Try to replicate this in your own Stanford roommate essay. Reading a variety of examples of college essays can help you brainstorm your own, but your ideas should still be original!
You and your freshman roommate will come to know each other well, so respond to this prompt with openness and honesty. While they arenât as prevalent in Common App essay examples or supplemental college essay examples, jokes and humor are more common in these letters.
Examples of college essays that are a letter to your freshman roommate are less formal. However, they should still be specific and vivid. Include details and stories to show the reader who you are. The strongest college application essay examples for Stanford will illustrate your identity through vivid stories and specifics details.
Your letter to your Stanford roommate is a great opportunity to show the admissions committee another aspect of who you are. Take advantage of it!
The âAdditional Informationâ essay
Finally, let’s turn to one last set of examples of college essays. One of the college essay prompts you’ll encounter is the “additional information” section of the Common App. This also appears as an optional supplement for some schools. Not all students should write this college essay. However, if you have something important to share about your background or experiences, the “additional information” section can be helpful.
Let’s look at some college essay examples for this prompt. Keep in mind when reading college essay examples for this prompt that the content will differ from applicant to applicant. So, use this space in whatever way feels natural to you.
Ex. 1: Harvard University Additional Information essay
I would like the Harvard Admissions Committee to know that my life circumstances are far from typical. I was born at twenty-four weeks gestation, which eighteen years ago was on the cusp of viability. Even if I was born today, under those same circumstances, my prospects for leading a normal life would be grim. Eighteen years ago, those odds were worse, and I was given a less than 5% chance of survival without suffering major cognitive and physical deficits. The first six months of my life were spent in a large neonatal ICU in Canada. I spent most of that time in an incubator, kept breathing by a ventilator. When I was finally discharged home, it was with a feeding tube and oxygen, and it would be several more months before I was able to survive without the extra tubes connected to me. At the age of two, I was still unable to walk. I engaged in every conventional and non-conventional therapy available to me, including physical and speech therapy, massage therapy, gymnastics, and several nutritional plans, to try to remedy this. Slowly, I began to make progress in what would be a long and arduous journey towards recovery.
This short essay example shares critical information about the writer. In doing so, this sample college essay excerpt helps the reader learn more about how medical circumstances have shaped the studentâs perspective. It is factualâand so are many âadditional informationâ short essay examples you will read.
The best examples of college essays covering additional information are concrete. They often detail special circumstances, background information, or ways your life has been impacted. If you donât have important information to write about, then donât feel like you have to write something. Many students leave this section blank!
Focus on impact
Youâll notice that examples of college essays for the additional information prompt could also include details about your extracurriculars . You might use this area to detail additional extracurriculars and awards that would not fit in that section. These short essay examples typically take the form of a list rather than an essay. These short essay samples should focus on impact; donât include unimpressive extracurriculars just to put something in the box. Examples of college essays come in all shapes and sizes.
You don’t need to include any additional information on the Common App if you have nothing more to share. However, as you can see from our college essay examples, this section can be useful in some cases. So, use our sample college essays to help you determine whether you should include any additional information in your own applications.
Final ThoughtsâExamples of College Essays & College Essays That Worked
In this guide to college essay examples, we’ve walked you through several different kinds of college essays prompts. We’ve also provided details on why these sample college essays impressed admissions officers at top schools. Reading and analyzing college essay examples can be an excellent part of the brainstorming process.
Colleges admit you based on your potential. So, when reading college essay samples, note the key qualities that the writer reveals. Each of the college essay samples is original and authentic. This should be one of your primary goals when writing your own college essays.
As you write your college essays, keep these college essay examples in mind. Think about how these short essay examples show impact and character. Then, use your voice to tell your unique story. Good luck!
This guide to college essay examples was written by Caroline Marapese, Notre Dame â22, Alex Baggott-Rowe , Davidson â16, and Stefanie Tedards. At CollegeAdvisor, we have built our reputation by providing comprehensive information that offers real assistance to students. If you want to get help with your college applications from Alex or other CollegeAdvisor.com Admissions Experts , click here to schedule a free meeting with one of our Admissions Specialists. During your meeting, our team will discuss your profile and help you find targeted ways to increase your admissions odds at top schools. Weâll also answer any questions and discuss how CollegeAdvisor.com can support you in the college application process.
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20 Successful College Essay Examples + Why They Worked (2024)
Today I'm going to show you 20 essays that worked that will help inspire you and start you on your way to writing your own successful essays.
In this post, I've included:
- Personal Statement examples
- Supplemental essay examples
- University of California essays
- Links to hundreds more essay examples
If you're looking for college essay examples, you've found the right place.
Let's get started.
Writing your college essays can be challenging.
And in 2024, with many schools dropping test scores from their application, your college essays are one of the most important parts of your application if you want to get accepted.
That means there's a whole lot more opportunity for students without the best SAT or ACT scores to boost their chances of admission by writing outstanding essays.
20 of My Favorite Essays That Worked
One of the best ways to write your own successful essays is to read and learn from past essays that worked.
Here's 20 of our favorite college essays examples. From Personal Statement examples to "Why this college?" supplements, find any type of essay you're looking for.
I've chosen these examples because they represent almost every type of essay you'll need to write.
Plus, they are all high-quality examples that have an authentic voice , one of the most important parts of a great essay.
Table of Contents
Personal statement essay examples.
- 1. The Itch
- 2. Paint Dance
- 3. Football Manager
- 4. Restaurant Job
Additional Personal Statement Examples
Additional Common App Essay Examples
University of California Essay Examples
- 5. Summer Counselor
- 6. Teaching Talent
- 7. Linguistics
- 8. Linguistics Society
- 9. New Perspectives
Supplemental Essay Examples
- 10. Fermat's Last Theorem
- 11. Bug Fixing
- 12. Why UPenn?
- 13. Story of My Name
- 14. Ideal College Community
- 15. Why Computer Science
- 16. Volunteering at Hospital
- 17. Why Carnegie Mellon
- 18. Why NYU?
- 19. Moving Places
- 20. Double Major
Ready to get inspired to write the next great admissions essays?
Let's jump right in.
Part 1: Personal Statements That Stand Out
Your Personal Statement essay is arguably the most important essay you'll write.
Since it's sent to every college you apply to, you need to carefully choose how you use your 650 words.
In this section, I'll show you several examples of successful Common App essays accepted into the most selective colleges.
Letâs dive right in.
Most students write their personal statement essay on their Common Application.
That's why it's called your Common App essay .
If you're having trouble starting your essay, be sure to check out some Common App inspiration .
Here are some of the best Common App essay examples that have gotten students into top colleges.
Below are some of our favorite personal statement essay examples from the Ivy League and other top-20 colleges.
College Essay Example #1: The Itch
This Common App personal statement was accepted into Stanford University .
Common App Prompt #7: Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design. (250-650 words)
Slowly, my passion emerged from pretense and envy into reality.
Why This Essay Works:
This essay is all based upon the metaphor of "the itch" representing a desire to understand the world. By using a central theme, such as a metaphor, you can create a thread of ideas that run throughout your essay. If you want to use a metaphor, make sure it clearly relates to the idea you're trying to express, rather than choosing one just because it is a creative or unique approach. In this case, there is perhaps no better metaphor than "the itch" which would capture their main idea, so it works well.
Instead of "telling" their ideas, this essay does a lot of fantastic "showing" through specific anecdotes. Sentences like "I learned to sing the blues before I knew the words..." capture a lot about the author's character and background without having to say it outright. By showing the reader, you allow them to draw their own conclusions rather than just having to accept what you're telling them. Using specific language also creates a more vibrant and interesting essay. Rather than saying "I loved learning as a kid," this student shows it using a concrete example: "my favorite book was an introduction to fulcrums".
Writing about other people in your essay can be a great way to tell things about yourself. Known as a literary "foil," by describing other people you can show your own values without stating them plainly. In this essay, the author shows their value (of being passionate about learning) by first recognizing that value in somebody else, "Kikki" in this case. By writing about people in your life, you can also create a sense of humility and humanity. Nobody is an "island," meaning that everyone is influenced by those around us. Showing how you draw inspiration, values, or lessons from others will show more about your character than simply telling admissions would.
In general, listing activities in your essay is a bad strategy, because it is repetitive of your activities list and comes across boring. However, this essay manages to list their activities in the 3rd-to-last paragraph by connecting them to a central idea: how their newfound passion for learning sparked all these new engagements. Listing activities can be okay, but only if they have a clear purpose in doing so. In this case, the purpose is to show how these activities are representative of their new passion for learning. But the purpose for listing activities could also be to show a specific value, provide examples for your idea, demonstrate your new perspective, etc.
College Essay Example #2: Paint Dance
This Common App personal statement was accepted into Williams College .
Common App Prompt #2: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? (250-650 words)
This student uses figurative language, particularly personification, which makes their writing more engaging. Rather simply telling a story plainly, implementing aspects of creative writing such as metaphors, personification, and symbolism, can engage the reader in your story.
This essay deals with their strugglesâparticularly in overcoming fear of failure while painting. By showcasing your challenges, you not only create a more relatable persona, but it makes your successes far more impactful. Everyone has struggles, and reflecting upon those challenges is what will help you convey self-growth.
What They Might Improve:
Although this student reflects on the concept of fear, they don't go much deeper than surface-level reflections. This essay does pose some interesting questions, like "Why was I afraid of something I had not yet encountered?" but these questions are cut short and not satisfyingly explored. Admissions officers are impressed with genuine, deep reflection. To get there, you need to push past surface-level takeaways and try taking your ideas always one step further.
"Fear" is a central theme of this essay, but the main idea of overcoming fear is repeated excessively, without adding new ideas. It is important that your essay "goes somewhere" and doesn't stay stuck at the surface of your ideas. You want to go deep into your ideas, which means avoiding repetition at all costs, and only referencing a previous idea if you're adding something new: a new perspective, context, nuance, broader application, etc.
College Essay Example #3: Football Manager
This Common App personal statement was accepted into the University of Pennsylvania .
Common App Prompt #1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. (250-650 words)
This essay has lighthearted moments in it, such as recognizing how being a football manager "does not sound glamorous" and how "we managers go by many names: watergirls..." Using moments of humor can be appropriate for contrasting with moments of serious reflection. Being lighthearted also shows a sense of personality and that you are able to take things with stride.
The reflections in this essay are far too generic overall and ultimately lack meaning because they are unspecific. Using buzzwords like "hard work" and "valuable lessons" comes off as unoriginal, so avoid using them at all costs. Your reflections need to be specific to you to be most meaningful. If you could (in theory) pluck out sentences from your essay and drop them into another student's essay, then chances are those sentences are not very insightful. Your ideas should be only have been able to been written by you: specific to your experiences, personal in nature, and show deep reflection.
Although this essay uses the topic of "being a football manager," by the end of the essay it isn't clear what that role even constitutes. Avoid over-relying on other people or other's ideas when writing your essay. That is, most of the reflections in this essay are based on what the author witnessed the football team doing, rather than what they experienced for themselves in their role. Focus on your own experiences first, and be as specific and tangible as possible when describing your ideas. Rather than saying "hard work," show that hard work through an anecdote.
More important than your stories is the "So what?" behind them. Avoid writing stories that don't have a clear purpose besides "setting the scene." Although most fiction writing describes people and places as exposition, for your essays you want to avoid that unless it specifically contributes to your main point. In this essay, the first two paragraphs are almost entirely unnecessary, as the point of them can be captured in one sentence: "I joined to be a football manager one summer." The details of how that happened aren't necessary because they aren't reflected upon.
In typical academic writing, we're taught to "tell them what you're going to tell them" before telling them. But for college essays, every word is highly valuable. Avoid prefacing your statements and preparing the reader for them. Instead of saying "XYZ would prove to be an unforgettable experience," just dive right into the experience itself. Think of admissions officers as "being in a rush," and give them what they want: your interesting ideas and experiences.
College Essay Example #4: Restaurant Job
This Common App personal statement is an accepted Tulane essay .
Common App Prompt #5: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. (250-650 words)
Piano Man plays on repeat in Used To Beâs Island Eatery, a high-volume bar and restaurant in the town of [Location] on the Jersey shore. Balding men and blonde women sway to the song as they sit on the wooden barstools, chatting and laughing about their lives.
Rather than "telling," it's important to always back up your points by "showing." This means using anecdotes, examples, and specific references to help the reader come to the same conclusion as you. Anybody can "tell" things, but by showing them you are giving proof, which makes your points more convincing and compelling.
An effective strategy for having interesting ideas is to reflect upon what you've learned as the result of an activity or experience. Lessons are important because they show self-growth, which admissions officers are looking for. It can also be a good idea to compare and contrast your lessons with other areas of your life. For example, how do your lessons from an extracurricular activity differ or translate over to your academics? Or vice versa?
One of the most common "mistakes" in essays is to not go deeper into your ideas. Most students gravitate towards surface-level ideas, which can be a good starting point, but should ideally be taken further. Admissions officers have read thousands of essays, so it's important that your ideas are unique, specific to you, and interesting. To get to those "deeper" ideas, keep asking yourself questions. For example, if you start with the idea of "positivity is key for this job," then keep asking yourself "Why?" Repeat that process many times and think critically, and eventually you'll come to more interesting and compelling ideas.
Avoid writing like fiction books, which have lots of descriptions that build a world or environment. Instead, only describe the things that matter to your main point. Since you have a limited number of words to use, it is vital that each sentence has a clear purpose. In this essay, many descriptions are ultimately unnecessary to their main point. Does it matter that "balding men and blonde women sway to the song as they sit on the wooden barstools"? No, and this only distracts from what is ultimately more valuable: your ideas and reflections.
Want to read more Common App essay examples?
If you're looking for more outstanding Common App essays, check out our Common App guide with examples.
For more, check out our list of top personal statement examples .
Part 2: UC Personal Insight Questions
Your UC essays are more important in 2022, now that UC's have dropped SAT and ACT scores from your application.
And if you're looking to write great UC essays, the best place to start is by learning from essays that worked in the past.
If you're looking for tons of UC essay examples, you're in the right place.
Every student applying to University of California must write four Personal Insight Questions. Each short essay must be fewer than 350 words each.
Check out our guides and examples for UCLA essays and UC Berkeley essays .
Within those posts, you'll be able to read dozens of the best UC Personal Insight Questions.
College Essay Example #5: Summer Counselor
This essay was accepted into UCLA .
UC PIQ #1: Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time. (350 words max)
Each summer for the last eight years, I have attended a four-week residential summer camp on Orcas Island, first as a camper and more recently as a staff member. As a counselor-in- training last summer, my role shifted from one centred around my own enjoyment to one catering to the fulfilment of others. I welcomed this change of pace gladly, as the ability to positively impact the next generation of campers in a similar way to how my own counselors impacted mine thrilled me.
At first, I was unconvinced that I was being the role model I had envisaged of myself, as I was daunted by my new responsibility as staff. However, my uncertainty dissipated when one of the campers I had worked closely with in the sailing classes I taught wrote me a heartfelt letter towards the end of the session claiming that spending time with me had been one of the highlights of his summer. This small affirmation struck me deeply, and I was incentivised to continue putting all my energy into hopefully similarly affecting as many others as I could.
One of the most challenging parts of the summer was when I acted as an assistant counselor to a group of six 2nd-grade boys for a week, living with and supervising them for the whole time. I recall one particular moment when all six started yelling over the minor grievance of whose turn it was to take the dirty dishes back to the kitchen that meal. I tried diffusing the situation peacefully but, in the end, it required a firmer stance to get them to calm down. It was tough for me to take a harder line with them, but it was a valuable lesson that being assertive, yet still kind, is an effective method for future situations.
I cannot wait to apply for a full counselor position next summer, as each year I learn more from camp about what it is to be a compassionate leader, a convincing role model, and a team player.
- Specific Example : For UC essays, it's important to directly and clearly answer the prompt. This student does a good job of using a specific moment that clearly answers the prompt.
- Honest About Challenges : You don't have to present yourself as a perfect human being. Instead, by showing your flaws and challenges, it makes you more relatable. This student does that well by admitting: "I was unconvinced that I was being the role model I had envisaged of myself."
What They Might Change:
- Give More Details : In addition to stating "...it required a firmer stance to get them to calm down," it's better to show this. How did you act in that moment? How can you illustrate that assertiveness, without just stating it?
College Essay Example #6: Teaching Talent
UC PIQ #3: What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? (350 words max)
My greatest talent is teaching. I love the opportunity to help others and seeing them develop and improve as a result of my input is always so rewarding.
My principle teaching outlet is as a diving coach. My favourite part about this job is that it is so dynamic, and each session is different. Some days the divers are in a great mood, dive impressively, and will jest with you nonstop which, being extroverted, fills me with energy and is a genuinely enjoyable evening. These sessions are so easy to coach as you can present yourself as a friend to the divers and deepen the trust that exists between you. However, other nights the kids are tired and unenthusiastic and coaching becomes far more challenging. I have to be stricter with them while simultaneously finding ways to motivate them, such as introducing little competitions or rewards for training hard. Over time, I have gotten much more confident at adjusting my coaching attitude towards the signals I pick up from the divers and it has made my job significantly easier.
This year, I have taken on the additional responsibility of leading the Learn to Dive squad, the largest group of divers at my club. At first, it was tough for me to adjust to my new role as it entailed more work with other coaches, helping them to develop their own coaching ability and monitoring the progression of their divers, as well as with kids of my own. However, I have grown to love this new element of my job, despite the challenge of instructing coaches older than myself, as it has forced me to develop my teaching ability in new ways. I have had to analyse my own teaching methods in order to explain them to other coaches and this both helped them to understand how to improve, but also allowed me to refine and develop how I coach my own divers.
Teaching is such an important part of my life because it allows me to learn and increase my own knowledge while making a positive impact on others.
College Essay Example #7: Linguistics
This Personal Insight Question essay was accepted into UCLA among others.
UC PIQ #6: Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom. (350 words max)
While reading Tolkien's The Silmarillion , I was struck by the elegance of the Elvish script he included. Upon further research, I discovered that he had created an entire language â Quenya â to accompany the Lord of the Rings trilogy. The idea that a language could be crafted and cultivated like a piece of art was both illuminating and inspiring to me. I had heard of Esperanto previously, but I believe Tolkien wasnât trying to change the world with his creation. His goal was simply to create a language for the pleasure of it, and to enrich his storytelling and worldbuilding.
The revelation that language could be more than just a tool for communication triggered a love for linguistics that persists to this day. I voraciously tore through reference grammars and college textbooks alike, including An Introduction to Historical Linguistics by Lyle Campbell.
I even tried to emulate Tolkien and create a language of my own. Whether at school taking classes in Spanish, French, Italian, Latin, and Ancient Greek, or at home studying the phonology of Brazilian Portuguese on my own, languages excited and motivated me to learn more. I was awarded the Arthur Beatty award for outstanding linguist in the year as a result of my dedication to the language program at school.
Watching Game of Thrones reintroduced me to conlanging in the form of Dothraki and rekindled my interest, prompting me to write my IB extended essay on the historical etymology of Spanish. It was a challenging project, but I loved every minute of my research. While my friends were lamenting their boredom at poring over endless journals on topics they didnât enjoy, I was studying a subject for which I am truly passionate. I hope to continue my study of language in university, and one of my goals in life is to be trilingual. I have no doubt that languages will continue to inspire me throughout life, and I hope to be able to share some of this passion with others along the way.
College Essay Example #8: Linguistics Society
Here's another UCLA essay that worked.
UC PIQ #7: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? (350 words max)
Throughout my time at school, I have tried to share my passions and interests with others in various ways.
With the help of a friend, I reinvigorated and reinvented the school linguistics society, transforming it from a dull discussion of past exam questions to a seminar-style session where I have presented and analysed various interesting aspects of language. We have covered topics ranging from phonetics to historical sound change, and it has attracted a loyal troop of linguists who relish the weekly meetings almost as much as I do.
I have also channelled my passion for teaching into volunteering as a Spanish teacher at another local elementary school. Leading a class of thirty students can be a challenge, mainly as that many students are often hard to control. Nevertheless, I have planned and carried out lessons there each week for the last three years and have learnt a lot from it. I have found that as my confidence has grown, so the students have started to listen to and respect me more. They gain more from the lessons, as is evident from their progress at the end of each semester, and my enjoyment and fulfilment has risen. I am glad to have had a positive impact on their learning, and that I have been able to teach a subject that genuinely interests me.
Finally, I was appointed as a school prefect for senior year. In this role, I have been involved with a number of charity initiatives, such as organising bake sales and sponsored sporting events to raise money for the Make a Wish foundation, as well as various pastoral activities such as mentoring incoming freshman and guiding prospective parents around the campus. I love being a prefect as it allows me to give something back to the school that has been a huge part of my life for the last several years. I hope my legacy is that students feel more comfortable and confident in the school environment, and that they are inspired to become leaders as I have been to give back to the community in turn.
College Essay Example #9: New Perspectives
This essay was accepted into UC Berkeley .
Seconds after our teacher announced our project groups âI heard the familiar, pitchy voice of the most irritating person in the class yell my name. Just like my worst nightmare, I had been put in a group to work with Eva; the annoying girl who had a weird obsession with horses. At that moment, I knew that it was going to be the longest project of my life.
Eva was extremely difficult to work with; she would always interrupt me, stubbornly stuck to what she wanted, and did not listen to a thing I said. Two weeks of tension and no progress flew by until one day during class, Eva went on another ramble about her horses.
Although I wasn't ready to hear her talk about horses again, I let her continue. What was another rant about horses turned into a conversation about the mental disorders Eva faced and how she relied on horse riding as therapy. After that conversation, our progress took a complete 180. I was eager to learn more, and we finished the project with more purpose and meaning. My perspective changed entirely.
I was moved by Evaâs passion for horse riding and encouraged her to start a club on campus where she could share her passion with others. Beyond this project, I helped Eva defend her riding center during city council meetings because it was on the verge of being shut down. In exchange, working with Eva taught me how to be more open-minded, more patient, more understanding; values of which I personally lacked my entire life. âI began to cooperate with people with a more accepting and considerate mentality, understanding that people work in different ways.
Iâm glad I chose to work through the project with Eva because I grew as a leader in a way that I would have never expected. I know I could have easily done the project by myself, but instead, I worked through our disagreements and bickering. Sâharing this experience with Eva unearthed my ability to lead using patience and understanding, which are now essential assets to my leadership capabilities.
Part 3: Supplemental Essay Examples
Many top colleges require students to supplemental essays.
Each school may ask different prompts or none at all. And often your answers will be more specific and directly about the school.
In this section, you'll find supplemental essay examples from top universities. I've included a variety of prompts to cover common supplemental prompts, from "Why this college?" to major and area of study questions
Let's jump into the essays.
In addition to the your personal statement or statement of purpose (SOP), many colleges also require supplements.
These supplemental essays are often specific to the school and ask you to answer a specific question, such as "Why this college?" or "Why this major?"
In this section, you'll find supplemental essay examples from top universities. I've included a variety of prompts to cover common supplemental prompts that you may encounter.
College Essay Example #10: Fermat's Last Theorem
This supplemental essay was accepted into Cornell University .
Prompt: Cornell Engineering celebrates innovative problem solving that helps people, communitiesâŠthe world. Consider your ideas and aspirations and describe how a Cornell Engineering education would allow you to leverage technological problem-solving to improve the world we live in. (250-650 words)
For "Why Us?" college essays, one of the most important parts is to show ways you imagine being involved on campus. This student does a great job of showing that they've done their research about Cornell, by connecting their passion for studying heart disease to specific initiatives already taking place on campus. Try researching what events, research, or programs are being conducted. By referencing those specifics, you can create convincing reasons of why this school is fit for you.
When discussing your intended area of study, one effective strategy is to identify a problem that you see. This problem can be in the field itself, your community, or the world. Then, you can connect this problem to yourself by showing how you'd want to help solve it. Don't try to tackle it entirely yourself, but show how you'd "take bites" out of this larger problem. It is also important that you identify potential solutions to the problem. You definitely don't (and shouldn't) have all the answers, but what do you see as potential steps for combatting the issue?
Using technical language, such as referencing "semi-elliptical curves" and "modular form" in this essay, will help show your in-depth knowledge and passion. Don't be afraid to use technical jargon like this, and don't worry if admissions officers may not know all the terms. As long as they have context and knowing the terminology isn't critical to understanding your point, including "nerdy" language will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate your intelligence.
If you have personal connections to the school you're applying to (such as legacy, family members who work there, students or faculty you're close with), it can be a good idea to reference those connections. Showing personal connections to the school makes admissions think, "They're already practically one of us!" Just make sure that these connections aren't contrived: only write about them if you have a clear purpose within your essay for introducing them. In this essay, the student references their brother who attended Cornell, but does so in a way that naturally ties into the rest of their reasons for "why Cornell."
College Essay Example #11: Bug Fixing
Here's another Cornell essay that worked .
Prompt: Describe two or three of your current intellectual interests and why they are exciting to you. Why will Cornell's College of Arts and Sciences be the right environment in which to pursue your interests? (650 words max)
College Essay Example #12: Why UPenn
If you enjoyed the UPenn Common App essay , here's a supplement that was also accepted into the University of Pennsylvania .
Prompt: How will you explore your intellectual and academic interests at the University of Pennsylvania? Please answer this question given the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying. (650 words max)
This essay does a great job of conveying a thoughtful and candid applicant. Their phrasing, although verbose in some places, comes across genuine because the author walks you through how they learned about the school, what they're looking for in a school, and why the school would offer those specific things. Phrases like "I didn't know if I could honestly see myself studying that" are conversational and natural-sounding, which help create a sincere tone.
By referencing specific programs, like "Penn in Washington" as well as various minors and concentrations, it is clear this student has done their research about the school. One of the most important aspects for a "Why Us" essay is to find specific and unique opportunities and name them in your essay. These could be things like specific professors and their work, campus and its location, interesting classes, unique internship/study-abroad/job programs, special events, and many more. The key is referencing things that are entirely unique to the school and not many other schools too. Avoid broad terms like "renowned faculty" or "interdisciplinary studies" because virtually all colleges offer things like this, and these are some of the most over-used and artificial reasons used in "Why Us" essays.
This essay has many moments of repetition that are unnecessary. In general, avoid repeating your ideas and when editing, ask yourself of each sentence: does this add something distinctly new and important to my essay? There are two common mistakes that often create repetition: prefacing your ideas and summarizing your ideas. Unlike academic writing, you don't need to "prepare" the reader for what you're going to say, and you don't need to conclude it with a summary. By doing so, you only create unnecessary repetition and take up words which could otherwise be used to include new specific details or ideas.
This essay spends nearly half of its words explaining the "interdisciplinary" opportunities at UPenn. However, this reason is quite superficial and not at all unique to Penn, as almost all colleges offer some sort of interdisciplinary study (i.e. combining your interests or studying multiple fields). Talking about "interdisciplinary study" is one of the most common reasons students use in their "Why Us" essay, and it often comes across as generic and unoriginal. Instead, look for offerings that no other (or very few other) schools provide. Narrow down your reasons "why" to make them more specific to the school, even if they are smaller scale. You can mention things like "interdisciplinary studies" or "diverse student body" briefly as a reason why, but don't make them one of your primary reasons why, unless you have something particularly unique about it.
College Essay Example #13: Story of My Name
This interesting essay is a Dartmouth essay that was admitted. Enjoy!
Prompt: The Hawaiian word moâolelo is often translated as âstoryâ but it can also refer to history, legend, genealogy, and tradition. Use one of these translations to introduce yourself. (250-300 words)
My name is Eoin Hourihane and my entire life, no one has ever pronounced my name correctly. My genealogy is Irish and my name is spelled this way because every male in the Hourihane family, for the past seven generations, has been named John. Since my older brother's name is John, my dad decided to honor his heritage, which gives me my dual citizenship, and name me the old Gaelic for John: Eoin.
I am the youngest of six which brings with it the never-ending comparisons, teasing, and constant bickering; add to that being small for my age until the age of twelve, and you can imagine my household. We have all been raised to be independent, to love nature (except Princess Ali), and to work our hardest at everything we do.
I have always loved math, playing hockey (ice or floor), matzah ball soup, the Beatles and Queen. As a kid, I was into Percy Jackson and a series of books with titles that all ended in â-ology,â the churros at the hockey rink in Jamestown, Bang party snaps, t-shirts by Tobuscus, and my two stuffed cats - one with a mortarboard, and the other with a Star of David on its front left paw. I have dreamt of being a biomedical engineer and creating a glass eye that can see, knowing the intricacies of the human body and its responses to environmental and internal stimuli, and performing surgery on the brain.
I have celebrated Chanukah and Christmas, honoring my Jewish mother and my Catholic father, but not truly affiliating with either. I am a liberal thinker who follows current events closely, and I am eager to explore the world outside of Buffalo, NY, participate in an academic environment that will challenge me, and live among a community of learners.
College Essay Example #14: Columbia University
College essay example #14: ideal college community.
This supplement was accepted into Columbia University .
Prompt: List a few words or phrases that describe your ideal college community. (150 words max)
Filled with activity around the clock. A place to come home to.
Trying to get past locked doors (literal and metaphorical).
Offering intellectual freedom and curiosity, without forcing specialization. Accommodating students who are unwilling to wait to make a difference. Willing to look critically at itself.
Socially conscious and politically active.
Never taking its eye off the national or global stage.
Buzzing with so much life it flows beyond the campus into the outside world.
So much life that sometimes it intimidates, that it yearns for more hours in the day. With too many options to choose from, Too much to do in four years.
Filled with clever eyes that see new ideas in the lessons of history.
Diverse of origin, of culture, of opinion, of religion, of personality, Diverse like an international center of thought and ideas and passions. An urban wonderland.
Supporting of extraordinary ambitions.
College Essay Example #15: Why Computer Science
This essay was accepted into Columbia University . To read more exceptional Columbia essays, be sure to check out our list for more Columbia essay examples .
Prompt: For applicants to Columbia College, please tell us what from your current and past experiences (either academic or personal) attracts you specifically to the field or fields of study that you noted in the Member Questions section. If you are currently undecided, please write about any field or fields in which you may have an interest at this time. (300 words max)
Studying computer science gives me the opportunity to be in a field that evolves so quickly I can always be on the forefront and do cutting-edge work. This summer at an ad-tech company, I moved the data science teamâs analysis programs to a novel cluster-computing engine (Kubernetes), which can manage and distribute tasks across thousands of computers at once. Kubernetes is so new that barely any information has circulated about it. Because of this novelty, I was able to publish the first existing documentation of a data science pipeline in Kubernetes.
Computer science can also automate the manual drudgery of life. For example: to manage my clubs, Iâve written a program that checks for emails from members with excuses for missing meetings and automatically logs their absences.
Since computers have become the platform for every science, coding allows me to contribute to numerous fields. When I started at Einstein College of Medicine last year, I knew nothing about computational biology. Our project showed me that basic programming was all I needed to find fascinating results in the mostly unstudied mountains of genomic data.
As a person, Iâm drawn to seemingly impossible challenges, in particular, the quest to teach machines and create mechanical consciousness. When I started taking online courses in AI, I became fascinated by the gradient descent method in machine learning. The method casts complex input data (e.g. photos) as thousand-dimensional surfaces and attempts to descend to the lowest points (minima) of those surfaces. It works best on data with underlying patterns, like pictures of human faces. This indicates that, in some way, the very nature of what a âfaceâ is, what unique structure is shared by nearly all faces, is found in the minima that AI models descend towards. My dream is to do foundational artificial intelligence research.
College Essay Example #16: Volunteering at Hospital
This essay was accepted into the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill . Want to read more UNC essay examples? Check out our list of the best UNC essays for this year.
Prompt: We hope youâll share with us the activities that youâve found especially worthwhile. We also hope you wonât feel compelled to tell us everything youâve ever done or, worse yet, to do things that mean little to you just because you think we expect them.
Low-profile pursuits can be just as meaningful as ones that draw more attention, and fewer activities can be just as good, and sometimes even better, than more activities. For example, although starting a new club can be a great experience and helpful to others, so can caring for siblings, parents, or grandparents, working outside the home to put food on the table, or being a good and caring friend.
For these reasons, although weâre glad to receive complete rĂ©sumĂ©s, we donât require or encourage them. Instead, if you choose to submit something that goes beyond what youâre providing through your Common Application, keep it brief; focus less on including everything and more on choosing and explaining the things that have meant the most to you; and upload it here. (650 words max)
Everywhere I looked, I saw a sea of white coats and scrubs; there was constant beeping of the heart monitors, and the smell of disinfectant was strong.
There I stood - a diminutive, awkward high school kid - lacking in experience and confidence, ready to begin volunteering at Vidant Medical Center. Perhaps the very same qualities that made me nervous were what put patients at ease. Many patients, especially younger ones who were uncomfortable speaking with medical professionals, seemed much more comfortable in my presence. I have learned this quality is how I have been able to make a difference - by connecting with many of the younger patients who were nervous just like me. Iâll always remember the two eight-year-old brothers who were waiting as their father got an MRI.
In some ways, they were also like me - they loved sports, and had an interest in math and science. As they were waiting, we talked about everything, from who they thought would win the NBA championship title to me giving them tips on how to remember their multiplication tables. This interaction put them at ease and kept them from becoming restless.
Every time I step into the hospital, I strive to connect with people. I find that I am able to make a difference not strictly due to my tasks of escorting and discharging patients but because of connection and rapport that I establish with them.
My initial nervousness about whether or not I would be able to assist sick and injured patients soon gave way to relief and gratification as I learned that I was indeed able to help them, by bringing a smile to those I escort, discharge, or deliver meals . Iâve met people I might never have met otherwise, and weâve shared our thoughts and talked about our experiences. I have come to look forward to their company, who, despite their conditions, are still able to smile every day and enjoy engaging in conversation with me - and vice versa.
Even when volunteering in areas of the hospital where Iâm not in contact with patients as often, such as doing food preparation, I always make sure to visit the patients I escort after my shift, to talk to them and uplift their spirits. Volunteering at a hospital reminds me every day how fortunate I am to be in good health and of the rewards of helping those who arenât. While my job as a volunteer at the hospital may not result in the discovery of a cure for cancer, I am happy to have had an opportunity to contribute to improving the experiences of the children and young adults coping with their hospital stays.
College Essay Example #17: Why Carnegie Mellon
This essay was accepted into Carnegie Mellon University . Want to read more essays that worked for CMU? Check out our list of Carnegie Mellon essays that worked .
Prompt: Why Carnegie Mellon? (650 words max)
With a strong background in computer science and communications, I hope to incorporate both into a future career of building data systems, conducting research, and consulting for organizations that serve underrepresented citizens.
Specific details and anecdotes will almost always be more compelling than less specific ones. In this essay, the student does a great job of including specific, "nerdy" details, such as "an association test between melanoma associated variants and survival outcome." These details demonstrate your in-depth knowledge of an area and make your essay more engaging.
This essay does a fantastic job of addressing real-world problems and emphasizing the "bigger picture" impact of their studies. Rather than just explaining what they want to study, this student explains how their education will help them have an impact on the world. Make an argument for what problems you see in the world and how you could potentially help solve them.
For "Why Us?" college essays, one of the most important parts is to reference unique aspects to the school. Almost all colleges have strong academics, great faculty, etc. So instead of referencing those points, reference what makes the school unique and different. In this essay, the student talks about "CMU's Technology Consulting in the Global Community" program, which is both highly specific to CMU and relevant to their own interests.
In general, you should avoid simply listing your achievements. This student has many remarkable activities and experiences, but it comes across less interesting because the first half of the essay is simply describing these accomplishments.
For "Why Us?" essays, it is also a good idea to reference the values the school represents. Each school has a different "culture" and type of student body, and admissions wants to know how you will fit in.
College Essay Example #18: Why NYU?
This essay was accepted into New York University . Writing your NYU essays doesn't have to be stressful if you get inspired by these examples.
Prompt: Why NYU?
We would like to know more about your interest in NYU. What motivated you to apply to NYU? Why have you applied or expressed interest in a particular campus, school, college, program, and or area of study? If you have applied to more than one, please also tell us why you are interested in these additional areas of study or campuses. We want to understand - Why NYU? (400 words max)
Living in a suburb my whole life, I've always felt as if I lived in a two-dimensional plane. I can go left, right, forward, and backward.
In a suburb, however, it is nearly impossible to get any meaningful altitude. Upon visiting New York City during the summer before my senior year, however, I found myself gazing up at the skyscrapers soaring high above me. I've always loved the views mountains and buildings; both from above and below. I also have spent time studying Mandarin, and Shanghai would offer a unique opportunity to further my linguistic studies while engaging in cultural immersion.
Beyond settings, NYU has the capacity and the resources available for me to engage in research in quantum computation. Playing video games got me into math and science beyond just playing with my calculator as a baby. There were practical applications of the numbers, and I wanted to understand how it all worked in order to get the best equipment and maximize ammo efficiency. I would watch "Mythbusters" and try to come up with my own hypothesis and see if it matched their conclusion.
In 8th grade, I figured out that I loved science along with math, but I didn't exactly know what science I loved. At the time I was in "physical science" and I did enjoy the class a lot, but I always thought of physics as "speed distance time" triangles which were no fun at all. I was convinced to take AP Physics in my junior year with my friends, and I loved it. It was almost every week we would learn something that completely altered my perception of the universe.
Once I learned about quantum physics and how it basically destroys our understanding of everything, I knew I wanted to pursue it further, and be at the forefront of quantum research.
At NYU, not only can I take courses to learn about the subject, but I can also participate in research through the "Center for Quantum Phenomena". Taking advanced courses and conducting research in a new setting, such as New York or Shanghai, can offer me a new perspective and a breath of fresh air. Conversely, I can help over NYU a new perspective on critical thinking and problem-solving. I chose to apply to NYU because NYU is fit for me, and I am fit for NYU.
College Essay Example #19: Moving Places
This essay was accepted into Pomona College . Check out this Pomona supplement that worked.
Prompt: For Pomona students, the Collegeâs location in Southern California is integral in shaping their experience. Tell us about a location, real or fictional, that has shaped you in a meaningful way. (650 words max)
In supplements where they aren't specifically asking you to write about the school, it can still be a good idea to connect to the school subtly. In this prompt, Pomona isn't asking for "Why Pomona," but the author still manages to imply their interest in the school by referencing Pomona's location near the "San Gabriel Mountains" and "East L.A." This is a subtle way of making the essay feel targeted for Pomona specifically, rather than this essay being reused for other schools, without answering the prompt in a way they aren't looking for.
This essay starts off with a strong metaphor, comparing a "Swiss Army knife" to blankets, which implies the many uses of blankets. This is a captivating hook because it is creative and makes sense when thought about, but isn't something immediately obvious. Throughout the essay, "blankets" become a symbol of being able to adapt to new locations and environments. By using "blankets" as a common thread through the essay, it makes their writing about various locations still feel connected. Even though the prompt is asking for "a location," this manages to work because "blankets" becomes the unifying symbol that ties together multiple locations.
By describing the luxurious-sounding places they've traveled, this essay could come across as privileged. Although coming from privilege isn't necessarily a bad thing for applying to colleges, emphasizing that privilege (especially nonchalantly) could come across as "entitled." This essay doesn't necessarily come across that way, but over-emphasizing your privilege could come across as not recognizing that privilege or "out of touch" with others who may come from less privilege. Instead, it may be better to acknowledge your privilege and show gratitudeâemphasizing how those opportunities have allowed you to make a positive impact on others.
College Essay Example #20: Double Major
Here's another liberal arts essay that worked, again for Pomona College .
Prompt: Most Pomona students enter the College undecided about a major, or they change their minds about their prospective major by the time they graduate. Certainly we arenât going to hold you to any of the choices youâve made above. But, in no more than 250 words, please tell us why youâve chosen the academic programs (or undecided!) that you have listed. (250 words max)
Iâm sitting backstage at my first international piano competition, anxiously awaiting my turn to perform. Unconsciously, I massage my right wrist, still recovering from a recent injury. The young man beside me feels my nervousness and starts a conversation.
As we whisper, I notice him rub his hands together uncomfortably. âWhatâs wrong?â I ask, quickly leaving my own wrist alone. He suppresses a nervous laugh, then quietly details the long and unsuccessful surgery that shattered his dream of becoming a professional musician. His hands were permanently damaged.
âAlessandra Fang,â the judges call. I stand up, walk to the main stage and look back to see him encourage me with a stiff, crooked thumbs-up. As my fingers dance on the keys, I observe the fragile muscles and ligaments under my skin.
I realize in that moment that it is not in a massive concert hall where I wanted to change peopleâs lives, but on a smaller stage: an operating room. As an artist who has had her share of painful, music-related injuries, my goal is to become a musicianâs physician, and blend my greatest two passions so that I might bring relief to those around me, while understanding their musical and anatomical plight.
I wish to pursue both Biology and Music programs at Pomona College. I want to become a hand surgeon while still developing my artistry on the piano. After all, surgery also has its own cadence, complexity and composition.
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What You Can Learn From These Essays
With the number of applicants to top schools skyrocketing, itâs becoming more and more difficult for students to get accepted. To stand out from the crowd, you'll need to write interesting essays.
In this article and on our site, we've compiled hundreds of successful college essay examples so that you can see how other students got accepted and learn exactly what to do in order to help make your application a success too.
In this post you can learn from successful essays from Ivy League universities and other top schools like:
- University of Pennsylvania
- Dartmouth College
- Cornell University
- University of Virginia
Let me know, which essay example was your favorite?
Meet the Author
Ryan Chiang
I'm Ryan Chiang and I created EssaysThatWorked.com - a website dedicated to helping students and their families apply to college with confidence & ease. We publish the best college admissions essays from successful applicants every year to inspire and teach future students.
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Sample Essays
The breadth of Georgetownâs core curriculum means that students are required to write for a wide variety of academic disciplines. Below, we provide some student samples that exhibit the key features the most popular genres. When reading through these essays, we recommend paying attention to their
1. Structure (How many paragraphs are there? Does the author use headers?)
2. Argument (Is the author pointing out a problem, and/or proposing a solution?)
3. Content (Does the argument principally rely on facts, theory, or logic?) and
4. Style (Does the writer use first person? What is the relationship with the audience?)
Philosophy Paper
- Singer on the Moral Status of Animals
Theology Paper
- Problem of God
- Jewish Civilization
- Sacred Space and Time
- Phenolphthalein in Alkaline Solution
History Paper
- World History
Literature Review
Comparative AnalysisÂ
Policy Brief
- Vaccine Manufacturing
White Paper
Critical Analysis
- Ignatius Seminar
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16 Strong College Essay Examples from Top Schools
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Most high school students donât get a lot of experience with creative writing, so the college essay can be especially daunting. Reading examples of successful essays, however, can help you understand what admissions officers are looking for.
In this post, weâll share 16 college essay examples of many different topics. Most of the essay prompts fall into 8 different archetypes, and you can approach each prompt under that archetype in a similar way. Weâve grouped these examples by archetype so you can better structure your approach to college essays.
If youâre looking for school-specific guides, check out our 2022-2023 essay breakdowns .
Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isnât genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized.Â
Note: the essays are titled in this post for navigation purposes, but they were not originally titled. We also include the original prompt where possible.
The Common App essay goes to all of the schools on your list, unless those schools use a separate application platform. Because of this, itâs the most important essay in your portfolio, and likely the longest essay youâll need to write (you get up to 650 words).Â
The goal of this essay is to share a glimpse into who you are, what matters to you, and what you hope to achieve. Itâs a chance to share your story.Â
Learn more about how to write the Common App essay in our complete guide.
The Multiple Meanings of Point
Prompt: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. (250-650 words)
Night had robbed the academy of its daytime colors, yet there was comfort in the dim lights that cast shadows of our advances against the bare studio walls. Silhouettes of roundhouse kicks, spin crescent kicks, uppercuts and the occasional butterfly kick danced while we sparred. She approached me, eyes narrowed with the trace of a smirk challenging me. âReady spar!â Her arm began an upward trajectory targeting my shoulder, a common first move. I sidestepped â only to almost collide with another flying fist. Pivoting my right foot, I snapped my left leg, aiming my heel at her midsection. The center judge raised one finger.Â
There was no time to celebrate, not in the traditional sense at least. Master Pollard gave a brief command greeted with a unanimous âYes, sirâ and the thud of 20 hands dropping-down-and-giving-him-30, while the âwinnersâ celebrated their victory with laps as usual.Â
Three years ago, seven-thirty in the evening meant I was a warrior. It meant standing up straighter, pushing a little harder, âYes, sirâ and âYes, maâamâ, celebrating birthdays by breaking boards, never pointing your toes, and familiarity. Three years later, seven-thirty in the morning meant I was nervous.Â
The room is uncomfortably large. The sprung floor soaks up the checkerboard of sunlight piercing through the colonial windows. The mirrored walls further illuminate the studio and I feel the light scrutinizing my sorry attempts at a pas de bourrĂ©e, while capturing the organic fluidity of the dancers around me. âChassĂ© en croix, grand battement, pique, pirouette.â I follow the graceful limbs of the woman in front of me, her legs floating ribbons, as she executes what seems to be a perfect ronds de jambes. Each movement remains a negotiation. With admirable patience, Ms. Tan casts me a sympathetic glance.  Â
There is no time to wallow in the misery that is my right foot. Taekwondo calls for dorsiflexion; pointed toes are synonymous with broken toes. My thoughts drag me into a flashback of the usual response to this painful mistake: âYou might as well grab a tutu and head to the ballet studio next door.â Well, here I am Master Pollard, unfortunately still following your orders to never point my toes, but no longer feeling the satisfaction that comes with being a third degree black belt with 5 years of experience quite literally under her belt. Itâs like being a white belt again â just in a leotard and ballet slippers.Â
But the appetite for new beginnings that brought me here doesnât falter. It is only reinforced by the classical rendition of âDancing Queenâ that floods the room and the ghost of familiarity that reassures me that this new beginning does not and will not erase the past. After years spent at the top, itâs hard to start over. But surrendering what you are only leads you to what you may become. In Taekwondo, we started each class reciting the tenets: honor, courtesy, integrity, perseverance, self-control, courage, humility, and knowledge, and I have never felt that I embodied those traits more so than when I started ballet.Â
The thing about change is that it eventually stops making things so different. After nine different schools, four different countries, three different continents, fluency in Tamil, Norwegian, and English, there are more blurred lines than there are clear fragments. My life has not been a tactfully executed, gold medal-worthy Taekwondo form with each movement defined, nor has it been a series of frappĂ©s performed by a prima ballerina with each extension identical and precise, but thankfully it has been like the dynamics of a spinning back kick, fluid, and like my chances of landing a pirouette, unpredictable.Â
The first obvious strength of this essay is the introductionâit is interesting and snappy and uses enough technical language that we want to figure out what the student is discussing. When writing introductions, students tend to walk the line between intriguing and confusing. It is important that your essay ends up on the intentionally intriguing side of that lineâlike this student does! We are a little confused at first, but by then introducing the idea of âsparring,â the student grounds their essay.
People often advise young writers to âshow, not tell.â This student takes that advice a step further and makes the reader do a bit of work to figure out what they are telling us. Nowhere in this essay does it say âAfter years of Taekwondo, I made the difficult decision to switch over to ballet.â Rather, the student says âItâs like being a white belt again â just in a leotard and ballet slippers.â How powerful!Â
After a lot of emotional language and imagery, this student finishes off their essay with very valuable (and necessary!) reflection. They show admissions officers that they are more than just a good writerâthey are a mature and self-aware individual who would be beneficial to a college campus. Self-awareness comes through with statements like âsurrendering what you are only leads you to what you may becomeâ and maturity can be seen through the studentâs discussion of values: âhonor, courtesy, integrity, perseverance, self-control, courage, humility, and knowledge, and I have never felt that I embodied those traits more so than when I started ballet.â
Sparking Self-Awareness
Prompt: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? (250-650 words)
Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug sprayâI wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire.Â
Furiously I rubbed the twigs togetherârubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teethâold, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family.Â
Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt.Â
âWhereâs the fire, Princess Clara?â they taunted. âHaving some trouble?â They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame.Â
In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since Iâd kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, Iâd practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musicianâfleshy and sensitive. And Iâd gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldnât remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformationâhe disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him.Â
Yet, I realized I hadnât really changedâI had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. Iâd grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses.Â
That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumpedâit helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldnât start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smokedâmy hands burned from all that scrawlingâand even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparkingâI was on fire, always on fire.
First things first, this Common App essay is well-written. This student is definitely showing the admissions officers her ability to articulate her points beautifully and creatively. It starts with vivid images like that of the ârustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free.â And because the prose is flowery (and beautiful!), the writer can get away with metaphors like âI knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palmsâ that might sound cheesy without the clear command of the English language that the writer quickly establishes.
In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction âFire!â and ends with the following image: âWhen the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smokedâmy hands burned from all that scrawlingâand even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparkingâI was on fire, always on fire.â This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.
While dialogue often comes off as cliche or trite, this student effectively incorporates her family members saying âWhereâs the fire, Princess Clara?â This is achieved through the apt use of the verb âtauntedâ to characterize the questioning and through the questionâs thematic connection to the earlier image of the student as a rustic princess. Similarly, rhetorical questions can feel randomly placed in essays, but this studentâs inclusion of the questions âWas I so dainty?â and âWas I that incapable?â feel perfectly justified after she establishes that she was pondering her failure.
Quite simply, this essay shows how quality writing can make a simple story outstandingly compelling.Â
Why This College?
âWhy This College?â is one of the most common essay prompts, likely because schools want to understand whether youâd be a good fit and how youâd use their resources.
This essay is one of the more straightforward ones youâll write for college applications, but you still can and should allow your voice to shine through.
Learn more about how to write the âWhy This College?â essay in our guide.
Prompt: How will you explore your intellectual and academic interests at the University of Pennsylvania? Please answer this question given the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying (650 words).
Sister Simone Roach, a theorist of nursing ethics, said, âcaring is the human mode of being.â I have long been inspired by Sister Roachâs Five Câs of Caring: commitment, conscience, competence, compassion, and confidence. Penn both embraces and fosters these values through a rigorous, interdisciplinary curriculum and unmatched access to service and volunteer opportunities.
COMMITMENT. Reading through the activities that Penn Quakers devote their time to (in addition to academics!) felt like drinking from a firehose in the best possible way. As a prospective nursing student with interests outside of my major, I value this level of flexibility. I plan to leverage Pennâs liberal arts curriculum to gain an in-depth understanding of the challenges LGBT people face, especially regarding healthcare access. Through courses like âInteractional Processes with LGBT Individualsâ and volunteering at the Mazzoni Center for outreach, I hope to learn how to better support the Penn LGBT community as well as my family and friends, including my cousin, who came out as trans last year.
CONSCIENCE. As one of the first people in my family to attend a four-year university, I wanted a school that promoted a sense of moral responsibility among its students. At Penn, professors challenge their students to question and recreate their own set of morals by sparking thought- provoking, open-minded discussions. I can imagine myself advocating for universal healthcare in courses such as âHealth Care Reform & Future of American Health Systemâ and debating its merits with my peers. Studying in an environment where students confidently voice their opinions â conservative or liberal â will push me to question and strengthen my value system.
COMPETENCE. Two aspects that drew my attention to Pennâs BSN program were its high-quality research opportunities and hands-on nursing projects. Through its Office of Nursing Research, Penn connects students to faculty members who share similar research interests. As I volunteered at a nursing home in high school, I hope to work with Dr. Carthon to improve the quality of care for senior citizens. Seniors, especially minorities, face serious barriers to healthcare that I want to resolve. Additionally, Pennâs unique use of simulations to bridge the gap between classroom learning and real-world application impressed me. Using computerized manikins that mimic human responses, classes in Pennâs nursing program allow students to apply their emergency medical skills in a mass casualty simulation and monitor their actions afterward through a video system. Participating in this activity will help me identify my strengths and areas for improvement regarding crisis management and medical care in a controlled yet realistic setting. Research opportunities and simulations will develop my skills even before I interact with patients.
COMPASSION. I value giving back through community service, and I have a particular interest in Pennâs Community Champions and Nursing Students For Sexual & Reproductive Health (NSRH). As a four-year volunteer health educator, I hope to continue this work as a Community Champions member. I am excited to collaborate with medical students to teach fourth and fifth graders in the city about cardiology or lead a chair dance class for the elders at the LIFE Center. Furthermore, as a feminist who firmly believes in womenâs abortion rights, Iâd like to join NSRH in order to advocate for womenâs health on campus. At Penn, I can work with like-minded people to make a meaningful difference.
CONFIDENCE. All of the Quakers that I have met possess one defining trait: confidence. Each student summarized their experiences at Penn as challenging but fulfilling. Although I expect my coursework to push me, from my conversations with current Quakers I know it will help me to be far more effective in my career.
The Five Câs of Caring are important heuristics for nursing, but they also provide insight into how I want to approach my time in college. I am eager to engage with these principles both as a nurse and as a Penn Quaker, and I canât wait to start.
This prompt from Penn asks students to tailor their answer to their specific field of study. One great thing that this student does is identify their undergraduate school early, by mentioning âSister Simone Roach, a theorist of nursing ethics.â You donât want readers confused or searching through other parts of your application to figure out your major.
With a longer essay like this, it is important to establish structure. Some students organize their essay in a narrative form, using an anecdote from their past or predicting their future at a school. This student uses Roachâs 5 Câs of Caring as a framing device that organizes their essay around values. This works well!
While this essay occasionally loses voice, there are distinct moments where the studentâs personality shines through. We see this with phrases like âfelt like drinking from a fire hose in the best possible wayâ and âAll of the Quakers that I have met possess one defining trait: confidence.â It is important to show off your personality to make your essay stand out.Â
Finally, this student does a great job of referencing specific resources about Penn. Itâs clear that they have done their research (theyâve even talked to current Quakers). They have dreams and ambitions that can only exist at Penn.
Prompt: What is it about Yale that has led you to apply? (125 words or fewer)
Coin collector and swimmer. Hungarian and Romanian. Critical and creative thinker. I was drawn to Yale because they donât limit oneâs mind with âorâ but rather embrace unison with âand.âÂ
Wandering through the Beinecke Library, I prepare for my multidisciplinary Energy Studies capstone about the correlation between hedonism and climate change, making it my goal to find implications in environmental sociology. Under the tutelage of Assistant Professor Arielle Baskin-Sommers, I explore the emotional deficits of depression, utilizing neuroimaging to scrutinize my favorite branch of psychology: human perception. At Walden Peer Counseling, I integrate my peer support and active listening skills to foster an empathetic environment for the Yale community. Combining my interests in psychological and environmental studies is why Iâm proud to be a Bulldog.Â
This answer to the âWhy This Collegeâ question is great because 1) the student shows their excitement about attending Yale 2) we learn the ways in which attending Yale will help them achieve their goals and 3) we learn their interests and identities.
In this response, you can find a prime example of the âImage of the Futureâ approach, as the student flashes forward and envisions their life at Yale, using present tense (âI explore,â âI integrate,â âIâm proudâ). This approach is valuable if you are trying to emphasize your dedication to a specific school. Readers get the feeling that this student is constantly imagining themselves on campusâit feels like Yale really matters to them.
Starting this image with the Beinecke Library is great because the Beinecke Library only exists at Yale. It is important to tailor âWhy This Collegeâ responses to each specific school. This student references a program of study, a professor, and an extracurricular that only exist at Yale. Additionally, they connect these unique resources to their interestsâpsychological and environmental studies.
Finally, we learn about the student (independent of academics) through this response. By the end of their 125 words, we know their hobbies, ethnicities, and social desires, in addition to their academic interests. It can be hard to tackle a 125-word response, but this student shows that itâs possible.
Why This Major?
The goal of this prompt is to understand how you came to be interested in your major and what you plan to do with it. For competitive programs like engineering, this essay helps admissions officers distinguish students who have a genuine passion and are most likely to succeed in the program. This is another more straightforward essay, but you do have a bit more freedom to include relevant anecdotes.
Learn more about how to write the âWhy This Major?â essay in our guide.
Why Duke Engineering
Prompt: If you are applying to the Pratt School of Engineering as a first year applicant, please discuss why you want to study engineering and why you would like to study at Duke (250 words).
One Christmas morning, when I was nine, I opened a snap circuit set from my grandmother. Although I had always loved math and science, I didnât realize my passion for engineering until I spent the rest of winter break creating different circuits to power various lights, alarms, and sensors. Even after I outgrew the toy, I kept the set in my bedroom at home and knew I wanted to study engineering. Later, in a high school biology class, I learned that engineering didnât only apply to circuits, but also to medical devices that could improve peopleâs quality of life. Biomedical engineering allows me to pursue my academic passions and help people at the same time.
Just as biology and engineering interact in biomedical engineering, I am fascinated by interdisciplinary research in my chosen career path. Duke offers unmatched resources, such as DUhatch and The Foundry, that will enrich my engineering education and help me practice creative problem-solving skills. The emphasis on entrepreneurship within these resources will also help me to make a helpful product. Dukeâs Bass Connections program also interests me; I firmly believe that the most creative and necessary problem-solving comes by bringing people together from different backgrounds. Through this program, I can use my engineering education to solve complicated societal problems such as creating sustainable surgical tools for low-income countries. Along the way, I can learn alongside experts in the field. Dukeâs openness and collaborative culture span across its academic disciplines, making Duke the best place for me to grow both as an engineer and as a social advocate.
This prompt calls for a complex answer. Students must explain both why they want to study engineering and why Duke is the best place for them to study engineering.
This student begins with a nice hookâa simple anecdote about a simple present with profound consequences. They do not fluff up their anecdote with flowery images or emotionally-loaded language; it is what it is, and it is compelling and sweet. As their response continues, they express a particular interest in problem-solving. They position problem-solving as a fundamental part of their interest in engineering (and a fundamental part of their fascination with their childhood toy). This helps readers to learn about the student!
Problem-solving is also the avenue by which they introduce Dukeâs resourcesâDUhatch, The Foundry, and Dukeâs Bass Connections program. It is important to notice that the student explains how these resources can help them achieve their future goalsâit is not enough to simply identify the resources!
This response is interesting and focused. It clearly answers the prompt, and it feels honest and authentic.
Why Georgia Tech CompSci
Prompt: Why do you want to study your chosen major specifically at Georgia Tech? (300 words max)
I held my breath and hit RUN. Yes! A plump white cat jumped out and began to catch the falling pizzas. Although my Fat Cat project seems simple now, it was the beginning of an enthusiastic passion for computer science. Four years and thousands of hours of programming later, that passion has grown into an intense desire to explore how computer science can serve society. Every day, surrounded by technology that can recognize my face and recommend scarily-specific ads, Iâm reminded of Uncle Benâs advice to a young Spiderman: âwith great power comes great responsibilityâ. Likewise, the need to ensure digital equality has skyrocketed with AIâs far-reaching presence in society; and I believe that digital fairness starts with equality in education.
The unique use of threads at the College of Computing perfectly matches my interests in AI and its potential use in education; the path of combined threads on Intelligence and People gives me the rare opportunity to delve deep into both areas. Iâm particularly intrigued by the rich sets of both knowledge-based and data-driven intelligence courses, as I believe AI should not only show correlation of events, but also provide insight for why they occur.
In my four years as an enthusiastic online English tutor, Iâve worked hard to help students overcome both financial and technological obstacles in hopes of bringing quality education to people from diverse backgrounds. For this reason, Iâm extremely excited by the many courses in the People thread that focus on education and human-centered technology. Iâd love to explore how to integrate AI technology into the teaching process to make education more available, affordable, and effective for people everywhere. And with the innumerable opportunities that Georgia Tech has to offer, I know that I will be able to go further here than anywhere else.
With a âWhy This Majorâ essay, you want to avoid using all of your words to tell a story. That being said, stories are a great way to show your personality and make your essay stand out. This studentâs story takes up only their first 21 words, but it positions the student as fun and funny and provides an endearing image of cats and pizzasâwho doesnât love cats and pizzas? There are other moments when the studentâs personality shines through also, like the Spiderman reference.
While this pop culture reference adds color, it also is important for what the student is getting at: their passion. They want to go into computer science to address the issues of security and equity that are on the industryâs mind, and they acknowledge these concerns with their comments about âscarily-specific adsâ and their statement that âthe need to ensure digital equality has skyrocketed.â This student is self-aware and aware of the state of the industry. This aptitude will be appealing for admissions officers.
The conversation around âthreadsâ is essential for this studentâs response because the prompt asks specifically about the major at Georgia Tech and it is the only thing they reference that is specific to Georgia Tech. Threads are great, but this student would have benefitted from expanding on other opportunities specific to Georgia Tech later in the essay, instead of simply inserting âinnumerable opportunities.â
Overall, this student shows personality, passion, and aptitudeâprecisely what admissions officers want to see!
Extracurricular Essay
Youâre asked to describe your activities on the Common App, but chances are, you have at least one extracurricular thatâs impacted you in a way you canât explain in 150 characters.
This essay archetype allows you to share how your most important activity shaped you and how you might use those lessons learned in the future. You are definitely welcome to share anecdotes and use a narrative approach, but remember to include some reflection. A common mistake students make is to only describe the activity without sharing how it impacted them.
Learn more about how to write the Extracurricular Essay in our guide.
A Dedicated Musician
My fingers raced across the keys, rapidly striking one after another. My body swayed with the music as my hands raced across the piano. Crashing onto the final chord, it was over as quickly as it had begun. My shoulders relaxed and I couldnât help but break into a satisfied grin. I had just played the Moonlight Sonataâs third movement, a longtime dream of mine.Â
Four short months ago, though, I had considered it impossible. The pieceâs tempo was impossibly fast, its notes stretching between each end of the piano, forcing me to reach farther than I had ever dared. It was 17 pages of the most fragile and intricate melodies I had ever encountered.Â
But that summer, I found myself ready to take on the challenge. With the end of the school year, I was released from my commitment to practicing for band and solo performances. I was now free to determine my own musical path: either succeed in learning the piece, or let it defeat me for the third summer in a row.Â
Over those few months, I spent countless hours practicing the same notes until they burned a permanent place in my memory, creating a soundtrack for even my dreams. Some would say Iâve mastered the piece, but as a musician I know better. Now that I can play it, I am eager to take the next step and add in layers of musicality and expression to make the once-impossible piece even more beautiful.
In this response, the student uses their extracurricular, piano, as a way to emphasize their positive qualities. At the beginning, readers are invited on a journey with the student where we feel their struggle, their intensity, and ultimately their satisfaction. With this descriptive image, we form a valuable connection with the student.
Then, we get to learn about what makes this student special: their dedication and work ethic. The fact that this student describes their desire to be productive during the summer shows an intensity that is appealing to admissions officers. Additionally, the growth mindset that this student emphasizes in their conclusion is appealing to admissions officers.
The Extracurricular Essay can be seen as an opportunity to characterize yourself. This student clearly identified their positive qualities, then used the Extracurricular Essay as a way to articulate them.
A Complicated Relationship with the School Newspaper
My schoolâs newspaper and I have a typical love-hate relationship; some days I want nothing more than to pass two hours writing and formatting articles, while on others the mere thought of student journalism makes me shiver. Still, as weâre entering our fourth year together, you could consider us relatively stable. Weâve learned to accept each otherâs differences; at this point Iâve become comfortable spending an entire Friday night preparing for an upcoming issue, and I hardly even notice the snail-like speed of our computers. Iâve even benefitted from the polygamous nature of our relationshipâwith twelve other editors, thereâs a lot of cooperation involved. Perverse as it may be, from that teamwork Iâve both gained some of my closest friends and improved my organizational and time-management skills. And though leaving it in the hands of new editors next year will be difficult, I know our time together has only better prepared me for future relationships.
This response is great. Itâs cute and endearing and, importantly, tells readers a lot about the student who wrote it. Framing this essay in the context of a âlove-hate relationship,â then supplementing with comments like âWeâve learned to accept each otherâs differencesâ allows this student to advertise their maturity in a unique and engaging way.Â
While Extracurricular Essays can be a place to show how youâve grown within an activity, they can also be a place to show how youâve grown through an activity. At the end of this essay, readers think that this student is mature and enjoyable, and we think that their experience with the school newspaper helped make them that way.
Participating in Democracy
Prompt: Research shows that an ability to learn from experiences outside the classroom correlates with success in college. What was your greatest learning experience over the past 4 years that took place outside of the traditional classroom? (250 words)Â
The cool, white halls of the Rayburn House office building contrasted with the bustling energy of interns entertaining tourists, staffers rushing to cover committee meetings, and my fellow conference attendees separating to meet with our respective congresspeople. Through civics and US history classes, I had learned about our government, but simply hearing the legislative process outlined didnât prepare me to navigate it. It was my first political conference, and, after learning about congressional mechanics during breakout sessions, I was lobbying my representative about an upcoming vote crucial to the US-Middle East relationship. As the daughter of Iranian immigrants, my whole life had led me to the moment when I could speak on behalf of the family members who had not emigrated with my parents.
As I sat down with my congresswomanâs chief of staff, I truly felt like a participant in democracy; I was exercising my right to be heard as a young American. Through this educational conference, I developed a plan of action to raise my voice. When I returned home, I signed up to volunteer with the state chapter of the Democratic Party. I sponsored letter-writing campaigns, canvassed for local elections, and even pursued an internship with a state senate campaign. I know that I donât need to be old enough to vote to effect change. Most importantly, I also know that I want to study governmentâI want to make a difference for my communities in the United States and the Middle East throughout my career.Â
While this prompt is about extracurricular activities, it specifically references the idea that the extracurricular should support the curricular. It is focused on experiential learning for future career success. This student wants to study government, so they chose to describe an experience of hands-on learning within their fieldâan apt choice!
As this student discusses their extracurricular experience, they also clue readers into their future goalsâthey want to help Middle Eastern communities. Admissions officers love when students mention concrete plans with a solid foundation. Here, the foundation comes from this studentâs ethnicity. With lines like âmy whole life had led me to the moment when I could speak on behalf of the family members who had not emigrated with my parents,â the student assures admissions officers of their emotional connection to their future field.
The strength of this essay comes from its connections. It connects the studentâs extracurricular activity to their studies and connects theirs studies to their personal history.
Overcoming Challenges
Youâre going to face a lot of setbacks in college, so admissions officers want to make youâre you have the resilience and resolve to overcome them. This essay is your chance to be vulnerable and connect to admissions officers on an emotional level.
Learn more about how to write the Overcoming Challenges Essay in our guide.
The Student Becomes the Master
âAdvanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.â Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.
Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.
Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldnât understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.
Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.Â
I first approached the adults in the dojang â both instructors and membersâ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldnât devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.
At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.
Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their childrenâs coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.
Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldnât let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojangâs longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.
Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.
Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.
This essay is great because it has a strong introduction and conclusion. The introduction is notably suspenseful and draws readers into the story. Because we know it is a college essay, we can assume that the student is one of the competitors, but at the same time, this introduction feels intentionally ambiguous as if the writer could be a competitor, a coach, a sibling of a competitor, or anyone else in the situation.
As we continue reading the essay, we learn that the writer is, in fact, the competitor. Readers also learn a lot about the studentâs values as we hear their thoughts: âI knew I couldnât let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was.â Ultimately, the conflict and inner and outer turmoil is resolved through the âSame, but Differentâ ending technique as the student places themself in the same environment that we saw in the intro, but experiencing it differently due to their actions throughout the narrative. This is a very compelling strategy!
Growing Sensitivity to Struggles
Prompt: The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? (650 words)
âYou ruined my life!â After months of quiet anger, my brother finally confronted me. To my shame, I had been appallingly ignorant of his pain.
Despite being twins, Max and I are profoundly different. Having intellectual interests from a young age that, well, interested very few of my peers, I often felt out of step in comparison with my highly-social brother. Everything appeared to come effortlessly for Max and, while we share an extremely tight bond, his frequent time away with friends left me feeling more and more alone as we grew older.
When my parents learned about The Green Academy, we hoped it would be an opportunity for me to find not only an academically challenging environment, but also â perhaps more importantly â a community. This meant transferring the family from Drumfield to Kingston. And while there was concern about Max, we all believed that given his sociable nature, moving would be far less impactful on him than staying put might be on me.
As it turned out, Green Academy was everything Iâd hoped for. I was ecstatic to discover a group of students with whom I shared interests and could truly engage. Preoccupied with new friends and a rigorous course load, I failed to notice that the tables had turned. Max, lost in the fray and grappling with how to make connections in his enormous new high school, had become withdrawn and lonely. It took me until Christmas time â and a massive argument â to recognize how difficult the transition had been for my brother, let alone that he blamed me for it.
Through my own journey of searching for academic peers, in addition to coming out as gay when I was 12, I had developed deep empathy for those who had trouble fitting in. It was a pain I knew well and could easily relate to. Yet after Maxâs outburst, my first response was to protest that our parents â not I â had chosen to move us here. In my heart, though, I knew that regardless of who had made the decision, we ended up in Kingston for my benefit. I was ashamed that, while I saw myself as genuinely compassionate, I had been oblivious to the heartache of the person closest to me. I could no longer ignore it â and I didnât want to.
We stayed up half the night talking, and the conversation took an unexpected turn. Max opened up and shared that it wasnât just about the move. He told me how challenging school had always been for him, due to his dyslexia, and that the ever-present comparison to me had only deepened his pain.
We had been in parallel battles the whole time and, yet, I only saw that Max was in distress once he experienced problems with which I directly identified. Iâd long thought Max had it so easy â all because he had friends. The truth was, he didnât need to experience my personal brand of sorrow in order for me to relate â he had felt plenty of his own.
My failure to recognize Maxâs suffering brought home for me the profound universality and diversity of personal struggle; everyone has insecurities, everyone has woes, and everyone â most certainly â has pain. I am acutely grateful for the conversations he and I shared around all of this, because I believe our relationship has been fundamentally strengthened by a deeper understanding of one another. Further, this experience has reinforced the value of constantly striving for deeper sensitivity to the hidden struggles of those around me. I wonât make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someoneâs life reflects their underlying story.
Here you can find a prime example that you donât have to have fabulous imagery or flowery prose to write a successful essay. You just have to be clear and say something that matters. This essay is simple and beautiful. It almost feels like having a conversation with a friend and learning that they are an even better person than you already thought they were.
Through this narrative, readers learn a lot about the writerâwhere theyâre from, what their family life is like, what their challenges were as a kid, and even their sexuality. We also learn a lot about their valuesânotably, the value they place on awareness, improvement, and consideration of others. Though they never explicitly state it (which is great because it is still crystal clear!), this studentâs ending of âI wonât make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someoneâs life reflects their underlying storyâ shows that they are constantly striving for improvement and finding lessons anywhere they can get them in life.
Community Service/Impact on the Community
Colleges want students who will positively impact the campus community and go on to make change in the world after they graduate. This essay is similar to the Extracurricular Essay, but you need to focus on a situation where you impacted others.Â
Learn more about how to write the Community Service Essay in our guide.
Academic Signing Day
Prompt: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?
The scent of eucalyptus caressed my nose in a gentle breeze. Spring had arrived. Senior class activities were here. As a sophomore, I noticed a difference between athletic and academic seniors at my high school; one received recognition while the other received silence. I wanted to create an event celebrating students academically-committed to four-years, community colleges, trades schools, and military programs. This event was Academic Signing Day.
The leadership label, âEvents Coordinator,â felt heavy on my introverted mind. I usually was setting up for rallies and spirit weeks, being overlooked around the exuberant nature of my peers.Â
I knew a change of mind was needed; I designed flyers, painted posters, presented powerpoints, created student-led committees, and practiced countless hours for my introductory speech. Each committee would play a vital role on event day: one dedicated to refreshments, another to technology, and one for decorations. The fourth-month planning was a laborious joy, but I was still fearful of being in the spotlight. Being acknowledged by hundreds of people was new to me.    Â
The day was here. Parents filled the stands of the multi-purpose room. The atmosphere was tense; I could feel the angst building in my throat, worried about the impression I would leave. Applause followed each of the 400 students as they walked to their college table, indicating my time to speak.Â
I walked up to the stand, hands clammy, expression tranquil, my words echoing to the audience. I thought my speech would be met by the sounds of crickets; instead, smiles lit up the stands, realizing my voice shone through my actions. I was finally coming out of my shell. The floor was met by confetti as I was met by the sincerity of staff, students, and parents, solidifying the event for years to come.Â
Academic students were no longer overshadowed. Their accomplishments were equally recognized to their athletic counterparts. The school culture of athletics over academics was no longer imbalanced. Now, every time I smell eucalyptus, it is a friendly reminder that on Academic Signing Day, not only were academic students in the spotlight but so was my voice.
This essay answers the prompt nicely because the student describes a contribution with a lasting legacy. Academic Signing Day will affect this high school in the future and it affected this studentâs self-developmentâan idea summed up nicely with their last phrase ânot only were academic students in the spotlight but so was my voice.â
With Community Service essays, students sometimes take small contributions and stretch them. And, oftentimes, the stretch is very obvious. Here, the student shows us that Academic Signing Day actually mattered by mentioning four months of planning and hundreds of students and parents. They also make their involvement in Academic Signing Day clearâit was their idea and they were in charge, and thatâs why they gave the introductory speech.
Use this response as an example of the type of focused contribution that makes for a convincing Community Service Essay.
Climate Change Rally
Prompt: What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? (technically not community service, but the response works)
Letâs fast-forward time. Strides were made toward racial equality. Healthcare is accessible to all; however, one issue remains. Our aquatic ecosystems are parched with dead coral from ocean acidification. Climate change has prevailed.
Rewind to the present day.
My activism skills are how I express my concerns for the environment. Whether I play on sandy beaches or rest under forest treetops, nature offers me an escape from the haste of the world. When my body is met by trash in the ocean or my nose is met by harmful pollutants, Earthâs pain becomes my own.Â
Substituting coffee grinds as fertilizer, using bamboo straws, starting my sustainable garden, my individual actions needed to reach a larger scale. I often found performative activism to be ineffective when communicating climate concerns. My days of reposting awareness graphics on social media never filled the ambition I had left to put my activism skills to greater use. I decided to share my ecocentric worldview with a coalition of environmentalists and host a climate change rally outside my high school.
Meetings were scheduled where I informed students about the unseen impact they have on the oceans and local habitual communities. My fingers were cramped from all the constant typing and investigating of micro causes of the Pacific Waste Patch, creating reusable flyers, displaying steps people could take from home in reducing their carbon footprint. I aided my fellow environmentalists in translating these flyers into other languages, repeating this process hourly, for five days, up until rally day. Â
It was 7:00 AM. The faces of 100 students were shouting, âThe climate is changing, why canât we?â I proudly walked on the dewy grass, grabbing the microphone, repeating those same words. The rally not only taught me efficient methods of communication but it echoed my environmental activism to the masses. The City of Corona would be the first of many cities to see my activism, as more rallies were planned for various parts of SoCal. My once unfulfilled ambition was fueled by my tangible activism, understanding that it takes more than one person to make an environmental impact.
Like with the last example, this student describes a focused event with a lasting legacy. Thatâs a perfect place to start! By the end of this essay, we have an image of the cause of this studentâs passion and the effect of this studentâs passion. There are no unanswered questions.
This student supplements their focused topic with engaging and exciting writing to make for an easy-to-read and enjoyable essay. One of the largest strengths of this response is its pace. From the very beginning, we are invited to âfast-forwardâ and ârewindâ with the writer. Then, after we center ourselves in real-time, this writer keeps their quick pace with sentences like âSubstituting coffee grounds as fertilizer, using bamboo straws, starting my sustainable garden, my individual actions needed to reach a larger scale.â Community Service essays run the risk of turning boring, but this unique pacing keeps things interesting.
Having a diverse class provides a richness of different perspectives and encourages open-mindedness among the student body. The Diversity Essay is also somewhat similar to the Extracurricular and Community Service Essays, but it focuses more on what you might bring to the campus community because of your unique experiences or identities.
Learn more about how to write the Diversity Essay in our guide.
A Story of a Young Skater
âââEveryone follow me!â I smiled at five wide-eyed skaters before pushing off into a spiral. I glanced behind me hopefully, only to see my students standing frozen like statues, the fear in their eyes as clear as the ice they swayed on. âCome on!â I said encouragingly, but the only response I elicited was the slow shake of their heads. My first day as a Learn-to-Skate coach was not going as planned.Â
But amid my frustration, I was struck by how much my students reminded me of myself as a young skater. At seven, I had been fascinated by Olympic performers who executed thrilling high jumps and dizzying spins with apparent ease, and I dreamed to one day do the same. My first few months on skates, however, sent these hopes crashing down: my attempts at slaloms and toe-loops were shadowed by a stubborn fear of falling, which even the helmet, elbow pads, and two pairs of mittens I had armed myself with couldnât mitigate. Nonetheless, my coach remained unfailingly optimistic, motivating me through my worst spills and teaching me to find opportunities in failures. With his encouragement, I learned to push aside my fears and attack each jump with calm and confidence; itâs the hope that I can help others do the same that now inspires me to coach.
I remember the day a frustrated staff member directed Oliver, a particularly hesitant young skater, toward me, hoping that my patience and steady encouragement might help him improve. Having stood in Oliverâs skates not much earlier myself, I completely empathized with his worries but also saw within him the potential to overcome his fears and succeed.Â
To alleviate his anxiety, I held Oliverâs hand as we inched around the rink, cheering him on at every turn. I soon found though, that this only increased his fear of gliding on his own, so I changed my approach, making lessons as exciting as possible in hopes that he would catch the skating bug and take off. In the weeks that followed, we held relay races, played âfreeze-skateâ and âice-potatoâ, and raced through obstacle courses; gradually, with each slip and subsequent success, his fear began to abate. I watched Oliverâs eyes widen in excitement with every skill he learned, and not long after, he earned his first skating badge. Together we celebrated this milestone, his ecstasy fueling my excitement and his pride mirroring my own. At that moment, I was both teacher and student, his progress instilling in me the importance of patience and a positive attitude.Â
Itâs been more than ten years since I bundled up and stepped onto the ice for the first time. Since then, my tolerance for the cold has remained stubbornly low, but the rest of me has certainly changed. In sharing my passion for skating, I have found a wonderful community of eager athletes, loving parents, and dedicated coaches from whom I have learned invaluable lessons and wisdom. My fellow staffers have been with me, both as friends and colleagues, and the relationships Iâve formed have given me far more poise, confidence, and appreciation for others. Likewise, my relationships with parents have given me an even greater gratitude for the role they play: no one goes to the rink without a parent behind the wheel!Â
Since that first lesson, I have mentored dozens of children, and over the years, witnessed tentative steps transform into powerful glides and tears give way to delighted grins. What I have shared with my students has been among the greatest joys of my life, something I will cherish forever. Itâs funny: when I began skating, what pushed me through the early morning practices was the prospect of winning an Olympic medal. Now, what excites me is the chance to work with my students, to help them grow, and to give back to the sport that has brought me so much happiness.Â
This response is a great example of how Diversity doesnât have to mean race, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, age, or ability. Diversity can mean whatever you want it to meanâwhatever unique experience(s) you have to bring to the table!
A major strength of this essay comes in its narrative organization. When reading this first paragraph, we feel for the young skaters and understand their fearâskating sounds scary! Then, because the writer sets us up to feel this empathy, the transition to the second paragraph where the student describes their empathy for the young skaters is particularly powerful. Itâs like we are all in it together! The studentâs empathy for the young skaters also serves as an outstanding, seamless transition to the applicant discussing their personal journey with skating: âI was struck by how much my students reminded me of myself as a young skater.â
This essay positions the applicant as a grounded and caring individual. They are caring towards the young skatersâchanging their teaching style to try to help the young skaters and feeling the young skatersâ emotions with themâbut they are also appreciative to those who helped them as they reference their fellow staffers and parents. This shows great maturityâa favorable quality in the eyes of an admissions officer.
At the end of the essay, we know a lot about this student and are convinced that they would be a good addition to a college campus!
Finding Community in the Rainforest
Prompt: Duke University seeks a talented, engaged student body that embodies the wide range of human experience; we believe that the diversity of our students makes our community stronger. If youâd like to share a perspective you bring or experiences youâve had to help us understand you betterâperhaps related to a community you belong to, your sexual orientation or gender identity, or your family or cultural backgroundâwe encourage you to do so. Real people are reading your application, and we want to do our best to understand and appreciate the real people applying to Duke (250 words).
I never understood the power of community until I left home to join seven strangers in the Ecuadorian rainforest. Although we flew in from distant corners of the U.S., we shared a common purpose: immersing ourselves in our passion for protecting the natural world.
Back home in my predominantly conservative suburb, my neighbors had brushed off environmental concerns. My classmates debated the feasibility of Trumpâs wall, not the deteriorating state of our planet. Contrastingly, these seven strangers delighted in bird-watching, brightened at the mention of medicinal tree sap, and understood why I once ran across a four-lane highway to retrieve discarded beer cans. Their histories barely resembled mine, yet our values aligned intimately. We did not hesitate to joke about bullet ants, gush about the versatility of tree bark, or discuss the destructive consequences of materialism. Together, we let our inner tree huggers run free.
In the short life of our little community, we did what we thought was impossible. By feeding on each otherâs infectious tenacity, we cultivated an atmosphere that deepened our commitment to our values and empowered us to speak out on behalf of the environment. After a week of stimulating conversations and introspective revelations about engaging people from our hometowns in environmental advocacy, we developed a shared determination to devote our lives to this cause.
As we shared a goodbye hug, my new friend whispered, âThe world needs saving. Someoneâs gotta do it.â For the first time, I believed that someone could be me.
This response is so wholesome and relatable. We all have things that we just need to geek out over and this student expresses the joy that came when they found a community where they could geek out about the environment. Passion is fundamental to university life and should find its way into successful applications.
Like the last response, this essay finds strength in the fact that readers feel for the student. We get a little bit of backstory about where they come from and how they felt silencedââBack home in my predominantly conservative suburb, my neighbors had brushed off environmental concernsââ, so itâs easy to feel joy for them when they get set free.
This student displays clear values: community, ecoconsciousness, dedication, and compassion. An admissions officer who reads Diversity essays is looking for students with strong values and a desire to contribute to a university communityâsounds like this student! Â
Political/Global Issues
Colleges want to build engaged citizens, and the Political/Global Issues Essay allows them to better understand what you care about and whether your values align with theirs. In this essay, youâre most commonly asked to describe an issue, why you care about it, and what youâve done or hope to do to address it.Â
Learn more about how to write the Political/Global Issues Essay in our guide.
Note: this prompt is not a typical political/global issues essay, but the essay itself would be a strong response to a political/global issues prompt.
Fighting Violence Against Women
Prompt: Using a favorite quotation from an essay or book you have read in the last three years as a starting point, tell us about an event or experience that helped you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world. Please write the quotation, title and author at the beginning of your essay. (250-650 words)
âOne of the great challenges of our time is that the disparities we face today have more complex causes and point less straightforwardly to solutions.âÂ
â Omar Wasow, assistant professor of politics, Princeton University. This quote is taken from Professor Wasowâs January 2014 speech at the Martin Luther King Day celebration at Princeton University.Â
The air is crisp and cool, nipping at my ears as I walk under a curtain of darkness that drapes over the sky, starless. It is a Friday night in downtown Corpus Christi, a rare moment of peace in my home city filled with the laughter of strangers and colorful lights of street vendors. But I cannot focus.Â
My feet stride quickly down the sidewalk, my hand grasps on to the pepper spray my parents gifted me for my sixteenth birthday. My eyes ignore the surrounding city life, focusing instead on a pair of tall figures walking in my direction. I mentally ask myself if they turned with me on the last street corner. I do not remember, so I pick up the pace again. All the while, my mind runs over stories of young women being assaulted, kidnapped, and raped on the street. I remember my motherâs voice reminding me to keep my chin up, back straight, eyes and ears alert.Â
At a young age, I learned that harassment is a part of daily life for women. I fell victim to period-shaming when I was thirteen, received my first catcall when I was fourteen, and was nonconsensually grabbed by a man soliciting on the street when I was fifteen. For women, assault does not just happen to usâ its gory details leave an imprint in our lives, infecting the way we perceive the world. And while movements such as the Womenâs March and #MeToo have given victims of sexual violence a voice, harassment still manifests itself in the lives of millions of women across the nation. Symbolic gestures are important in spreading awareness but, upon learning that a surprising number of men are oblivious to the frequent harassment that women experience, I now realize that addressing this complex issue requires a deeper level of activism within our local communities.Â
Frustrated with incessant cases of harassment against women, I understood at sixteen years old that change necessitates action. During my junior year, I became an intern with a judge whose campaign for office focused on a need for domestic violence reform. This experience enabled me to engage in constructive dialogue with middle and high school students on how to prevent domestic violence. As I listened to young men uneasily admit their ignorance and young women bravely share their experiences in an effort to spread awareness, I learned that breaking down systems of inequity requires changing an entire culture. I once believed that the problem of harassment would dissipate after politicians and celebrities denounce inappropriate behavior to their global audience. But today, I see that effecting large-scale change comes from the âsmallâ lessons we teach at home and in schools. Concerning womenâs empowerment, the effects of Hollywood activism do not trickle down enough. Activism must also trickle up and it depends on our willingness to fight complacency.Â
Finding the solution to the long-lasting problem of violence against women is a work-in-progress, but it is a process that is persistently moving. In my life, for every uncomfortable conversation that I bridge, I make the world a bit more sensitive to the unspoken struggle that it is to be a woman. I am no longer passively waiting for others to let me live in a world where I can stand alone under the expanse of darkness on a city street, utterly alone and at peace. I, too, deserve the night sky.
As this student addresses an important social issue, she makes the reasons for her passion clearâpersonal experiences. Because she begins with an extended anecdote, readers are able to feel connected to the student and become invested in what she has to say.
Additionally, through her powerful endingââI, too, deserve the night skyââwhich connects back to her beginningâ âas I walk under a curtain of darkness that drapes over the skyââthis student illustrates a mastery of language. Her engagement with other writing techniques that further her argument, like the emphasis on timeââgifted to me for my sixteenth birthday,â âwhen I was thirteen,â âwhen I was fourteen,â etc.âalso illustrates her mastery of language.
While this student proves herself a good writer, she also positions herself as motivated and ambitious. She turns her passions into action and fights for them. That is just what admissions officers want to see in a Political/Global issues essay!
Where to Get Feedback on Your College Essays
Once youâve written your college essays, youâll want to get feedback on them. Since these essays are important to your chances of acceptance, you should prepare to go through several rounds of edits.Â
Not sure who to ask for feedback? Thatâs why we created our free Peer Essay Review resource. You can get comments from another student going through the process and also edit other studentsâ essays to improve your own writing.Â
If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you  to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!
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How to Write an Essay
Use the links below to jump directly to any section of this guide:
Essay Writing Fundamentals
How to prepare to write an essay, how to edit an essay, how to share and publish your essays, how to get essay writing help, how to find essay writing inspiration, resources for teaching essay writing.
Essays, short prose compositions on a particular theme or topic, are the bread and butter of academic life. You write them in class, for homework, and on standardized tests to show what you know. Unlike other kinds of academic writing (like the research paper) and creative writing (like short stories and poems), essays allow you to develop your original thoughts on a prompt or question. Essays come in many varieties: they can be expository (fleshing out an idea or claim), descriptive, (explaining a person, place, or thing), narrative (relating a personal experience), or persuasive (attempting to win over a reader). This guide is a collection of dozens of links about academic essay writing that we have researched, categorized, and annotated in order to help you improve your essay writing.Â
Essays are different from other forms of writing; in turn, there are different kinds of essays. This section contains general resources for getting to know the essay and its variants. These resources introduce and define the essay as a genre, and will teach you what to expect from essay-based assessments.
Purdue OWL Online Writing Lab
One of the most trusted academic writing sites, Purdue OWL provides a concise introduction to the four most common types of academic essays.
"The Essay: History and Definition" (ThoughtCo)
This snappy article from ThoughtCo talks about the origins of the essay and different kinds of essays you might be asked to write.Â
"What Is An Essay?" Video Lecture (Coursera)
The University of California at Irvine's free video lecture, available on Coursera, tells you everything you need to know about the essay.
Wikipedia Article on the "Essay"
Wikipedia's article on the essay is comprehensive, providing both English-language and global perspectives on the essay form. Learn about the essay's history, forms, and styles.
"Understanding College and Academic Writing" (Aims Online Writing Lab)
This list of common academic writing assignments (including types of essay prompts) will help you know what to expect from essay-based assessments.
Before you start writing your essay, you need to figure out who you're writing for (audience), what you're writing about (topic/theme), and what you're going to say (argument and thesis). This section contains links to handouts, chapters, videos and more to help you prepare to write an essay.
How to Identify Your Audience
"Audience" (Univ. of North Carolina Writing Center)
This handout provides questions you can ask yourself to determine the audience for an academic writing assignment. It also suggests strategies for fitting your paper to your intended audience.
"Purpose, Audience, Tone, and Content" (Univ. of Minnesota Libraries)
This extensive book chapter from Writing for Success , available online through Minnesota Libraries Publishing, is followed by exercises to try out your new pre-writing skills.
"Determining Audience" (Aims Online Writing Lab)
This guide from a community college's writing center shows you how to know your audience, and how to incorporate that knowledge in your thesis statement.
"Know Your Audience" ( Paper Rater Blog)
This short blog post uses examples to show how implied audiences for essays differ. It reminds you to think of your instructor as an observer, who will know only the information you pass along.
How to Choose a Theme or Topic
"Research Tutorial: Developing Your Topic" (YouTube)
Take a look at this short video tutorial from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill to understand the basics of developing a writing topic.
"How to Choose a Paper Topic" (WikiHow)
This simple, step-by-step guide (with pictures!) walks you through choosing a paper topic. It starts with a detailed description of brainstorming and ends with strategies to refine your broad topic.
"How to Read an Assignment: Moving From Assignment to Topic" (Harvard College Writing Center)
Did your teacher give you a prompt or other instructions? This guide helps you understand the relationship between an essay assignment and your essay's topic.
"Guidelines for Choosing a Topic" (CliffsNotes)
This study guide from CliffsNotes both discusses how to choose a topic and makes a useful distinction between "topic" and "thesis."
How to Come Up with an Argument
"Argument" (Univ. of North Carolina Writing Center)
Not sure what "argument" means in the context of academic writing? This page from the University of North Carolina is a good place to start.
"The Essay Guide: Finding an Argument" (Study Hub)
This handout explains why it's important to have an argument when beginning your essay, and provides tools to help you choose a viable argument.
"Writing a Thesis and Making an Argument" (University of Iowa)
This page from the University of Iowa's Writing Center contains exercises through which you can develop and refine your argument and thesis statement.
"Developing a Thesis" (Harvard College Writing Center)
This page from Harvard's Writing Center collates some helpful dos and don'ts of argumentative writing, from steps in constructing a thesis to avoiding vague and confrontational thesis statements.
"Suggestions for Developing Argumentative Essays" (Berkeley Student Learning Center)
This page offers concrete suggestions for each stage of the essay writing process, from topic selection to drafting and editing.Â
How to Outline your Essay
"Outlines" (Univ. of North Carolina at Chapel Hill via YouTube)
This short video tutorial from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill shows how to group your ideas into paragraphs or sections to begin the outlining process.
"Essay Outline" (Univ. of Washington Tacoma)
This two-page handout by a university professor simply defines the parts of an essay and then organizes them into an example outline.
"Types of Outlines and Samples" (Purdue OWL Online Writing Lab)
Purdue OWL gives examples of diverse outline strategies on this page, including the alphanumeric, full sentence, and decimal styles.Â
"Outlining" (Harvard College Writing Center)
Once you have an argument, according to this handout, there are only three steps in the outline process: generalizing, ordering, and putting it all together. Then you're ready to write!
"Writing Essays" (Plymouth Univ.)
This packet, part of Plymouth University's Learning Development series, contains descriptions and diagrams relating to the outlining process.
"How to Write A Good Argumentative Essay: Logical Structure" (Criticalthinkingtutorials.com via YouTube)
This longer video tutorial gives an overview of how to structure your essay in order to support your argument or thesis. It is part of a longer course on academic writing hosted on Udemy.
Now that you've chosen and refined your topic and created an outline, use these resources to complete the writing process. Most essays contain introductions (which articulate your thesis statement), body paragraphs, and conclusions. Transitions facilitate the flow from one paragraph to the next so that support for your thesis builds throughout the essay. Sources and citations show where you got the evidence to support your thesis, which ensures that you avoid plagiarism.Â
How to Write an Introduction
"Introductions" (Univ. of North Carolina Writing Center)
This page identifies the role of the introduction in any successful paper, suggests strategies for writing introductions, and warns against less effective introductions.
"How to Write A Good Introduction" (Michigan State Writing Center)
Beginning with the most common missteps in writing introductions, this guide condenses the essentials of introduction composition into seven points.
"The Introductory Paragraph" (ThoughtCo)
This blog post from academic advisor and college enrollment counselor Grace Fleming focuses on ways to grab your reader's attention at the beginning of your essay.
"Introductions and Conclusions" (Univ. of Toronto)
This guide from the University of Toronto gives advice that applies to writing both introductions and conclusions, including dos and don'ts.
"How to Write Better Essays: No One Does Introductions Properly" ( The Guardian )
This news article interviews UK professors on student essay writing; they point to introductions as the area that needs the most improvement.
How to Write a Thesis Statement
"Writing an Effective Thesis Statement"Â (YouTube)
This short, simple video tutorial from a college composition instructor at Tulsa Community College explains what a thesis statement is and what it does.Â
"Thesis Statement: Four Steps to a Great Essay" (YouTube)
This fantastic tutorial walks you through drafting a thesis, using an essay prompt on Nathaniel Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter as an example.
"How to Write a Thesis Statement" (WikiHow)
This step-by-step guide (with pictures!) walks you through coming up with, writing, and editing a thesis statement. It invites you think of your statement as a "working thesis" that can change.
"How to Write a Thesis Statement" (Univ. of Indiana Bloomington)
Ask yourself the questions on this page, part of Indiana Bloomington's Writing Tutorial Services, when you're writing and refining your thesis statement.
"Writing Tips: Thesis Statements" (Univ. of Illinois Center for Writing Studies)
This page gives plentiful examples of good to great thesis statements, and offers questions to ask yourself when formulating a thesis statement.
How to Write Body Paragraphs
"Body Paragraph" (Brightstorm)
This module of a free online course introduces you to the components of a body paragraph. These include the topic sentence, information, evidence, and analysis.
"Strong Body Paragraphs" (Washington Univ.)
This handout from Washington's Writing and Research Center offers in-depth descriptions of the parts of a successful body paragraph.
"Guide to Paragraph Structure" (Deakin Univ.)
This handout is notable for color-coding example body paragraphs to help you identify the functions various sentences perform.
"Writing Body Paragraphs" (Univ. of Minnesota Libraries)
The exercises in this section of Writing for Success will help you practice writing good body paragraphs. It includes guidance on selecting primary support for your thesis.
"The Writing ProcessâBody Paragraphs" (Aims Online Writing Lab)
The information and exercises on this page will familiarize you with outlining and writing body paragraphs, and includes links to more information on topic sentences and transitions.
"The Five-Paragraph Essay" (ThoughtCo)
This blog post discusses body paragraphs in the context of one of the most common academic essay types in secondary schools.
How to Use Transitions
"Transitions" (Univ. of North Carolina Writing Center)
This page from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill explains what a transition is, and how to know if you need to improve your transitions.
"Using Transitions Effectively" (Washington Univ.)
This handout defines transitions, offers tips for using them, and contains a useful list of common transitional words and phrases grouped by function.
"Transitions" (Aims Online Writing Lab)
This page compares paragraphs without transitions to paragraphs with transitions, and in doing so shows how important these connective words and phrases are.
"Transitions in Academic Essays" (Scribbr)
This page lists four techniques that will help you make sure your reader follows your train of thought, including grouping similar information and using transition words.
"Transitions" (El Paso Community College)
This handout shows example transitions within paragraphs for context, and explains how transitions improve your essay's flow and voice.
"Make Your Paragraphs Flow to Improve Writing" (ThoughtCo)
This blog post, another from academic advisor and college enrollment counselor Grace Fleming, talks about transitions and other strategies to improve your essay's overall flow.
"Transition Words" (smartwords.org)
This handy word bank will help you find transition words when you're feeling stuck. It's grouped by the transition's function, whether that is to show agreement, opposition, condition, or consequence.
How to Write a Conclusion
"Parts of An Essay: Conclusions" (Brightstorm)
This module of a free online course explains how to conclude an academic essay. It suggests thinking about the "3Rs": return to hook, restate your thesis, and relate to the reader.
"Essay Conclusions" (Univ. of Maryland University College)
This overview of the academic essay conclusion contains helpful examples and links to further resources for writing good conclusions.
"How to End An Essay" (WikiHow)
This step-by-step guide (with pictures!) by an English Ph.D. walks you through writing a conclusion, from brainstorming to ending with a flourish.
"Ending the Essay: Conclusions" (Harvard College Writing Center)
This page collates useful strategies for writing an effective conclusion, and reminds you to "close the discussion without closing it off" to further conversation.
How to Include Sources and Citations
"Research and Citation Resources" (Purdue OWL Online Writing Lab)
Purdue OWL streamlines information about the three most common referencing styles (MLA, Chicago, and APA) and provides examples of how to cite different resources in each system.
EasyBib: Free Bibliography Generator
This online tool allows you to input information about your source and automatically generate citations in any style. Be sure to select your resource type before clicking the "cite it" button.
CitationMachine
Like EasyBib, this online tool allows you to input information about your source and automatically generate citations in any style.Â
Modern Language Association Handbook (MLA)
Here, you'll find the definitive and up-to-date record of MLA referencing rules. Order through the link above, or check to see if your library has a copy.
Chicago Manual of Style
Here, you'll find the definitive and up-to-date record of Chicago referencing rules. You can take a look at the table of contents, then choose to subscribe or start a free trial.
How to Avoid Plagiarism
"What is Plagiarism?" (plagiarism.org)
This nonprofit website contains numerous resources for identifying and avoiding plagiarism, and reminds you that even common activities like copying images from another website to your own site may constitute plagiarism.
"Plagiarism" (University of Oxford)
This interactive page from the University of Oxford helps you check for plagiarism in your work, making it clear how to avoid citing another person's work without full acknowledgement.
"Avoiding Plagiarism" (MIT Comparative Media Studies)
This quick guide explains what plagiarism is, what its consequences are, and how to avoid it. It starts by defining three wordsâquotation, paraphrase, and summaryâthat all constitute citation.
"Harvard Guide to Using Sources" (Harvard Extension School)
This comprehensive website from Harvard brings together articles, videos, and handouts about referencing, citation, and plagiarism.Â
Grammarly contains tons of helpful grammar and writing resources, including a free tool to automatically scan your essay to check for close affinities to published work.Â
Noplag is another popular online tool that automatically scans your essay to check for signs of plagiarism. Simply copy and paste your essay into the box and click "start checking."
Once you've written your essay, you'll want to edit (improve content), proofread (check for spelling and grammar mistakes), and finalize your work until you're ready to hand it in. This section brings together tips and resources for navigating the editing process.Â
"Writing a First Draft" (Academic Help)
This is an introduction to the drafting process from the site Academic Help, with tips for getting your ideas on paper before editing begins.
"Editing and Proofreading" (Univ. of North Carolina Writing Center)
This page provides general strategies for revising your writing. They've intentionally left seven errors in the handout, to give you practice in spotting them.
"How to Proofread Effectively" (ThoughtCo)
This article from ThoughtCo, along with those linked at the bottom, help describe common mistakes to check for when proofreading.
"7 Simple Edits That Make Your Writing 100% More Powerful" (SmartBlogger)
This blog post emphasizes the importance of powerful, concise language, and reminds you that even your personal writing heroes create clunky first drafts.
"Editing Tips for Effective Writing" (Univ. of Pennsylvania)
On this page from Penn's International Relations department, you'll find tips for effective prose, errors to watch out for, and reminders about formatting.
"Editing the Essay" (Harvard College Writing Center)
This article, the first of two parts, gives you applicable strategies for the editing process. It suggests reading your essay aloud, removing any jargon, and being unafraid to remove even "dazzling" sentences that don't belong.
"Guide to Editing and Proofreading" (Oxford Learning Institute)
This handout from Oxford covers the basics of editing and proofreading, and reminds you that neither task should be rushed.Â
In addition to plagiarism-checkers, Grammarly has a plug-in for your web browser that checks your writing for common mistakes.
After you've prepared, written, and edited your essay, you might want to share it outside the classroom. This section alerts you to print and web opportunities to share your essays with the wider world, from online writing communities and blogs to published journals geared toward young writers.
Sharing Your Essays Online
Go Teen Writers
Go Teen Writers is an online community for writers aged 13 - 19. It was founded by Stephanie Morrill, an author of contemporary young adult novels.Â
Tumblr is a blogging website where you can share your writing and interact with other writers online. It's easy to add photos, links, audio, and video components.
Writersky provides an online platform for publishing and reading other youth writers' work. Its current content is mostly devoted to fiction.
Publishing Your Essays Online
This teen literary journal publishes in print, on the web, and (more frequently), on a blog. It is committed to ensuring that "teens see their authentic experience reflected on its pages."
The Matador Review
This youth writing platform celebrates "alternative," unconventional writing. The link above will take you directly to the site's "submissions" page.
Teen Ink has a website, monthly newsprint magazine, and quarterly poetry magazine promoting the work of young writers.
The largest online reading platform, Wattpad enables you to publish your work and read others' work. Its inline commenting feature allows you to share thoughts as you read along.
Publishing Your Essays in Print
Canvas Teen Literary Journal
This quarterly literary magazine is published for young writers by young writers. They accept many kinds of writing, including essays.
The Claremont Review
This biannual international magazine, first published in 1992, publishes poetry, essays, and short stories from writers aged 13 - 19.
Skipping Stones
This young writers magazine, founded in 1988, celebrates themes relating to ecological and cultural diversity. It publishes poems, photos, articles, and stories.
The Telling Room
This nonprofit writing center based in Maine publishes children's work on their website and in book form. The link above directs you to the site's submissions page.
Essay Contests
Scholastic Arts and Writing Awards
This prestigious international writing contest for students in grades 7 - 12 has been committed to "supporting the future of creativity since 1923."
Society of Professional Journalists High School Essay Contest
An annual essay contest on the theme of journalism and media, the Society of Professional Journalists High School Essay Contest awards scholarships up to $1,000.
National YoungArts Foundation
Here, you'll find information on a government-sponsored writing competition for writers aged 15 - 18. The foundation welcomes submissions of creative nonfiction, novels, scripts, poetry, short story and spoken word.
Signet Classics Student Scholarship Essay Contest
With prompts on a different literary work each year, this competition from Signet Classics awards college scholarships up to $1,000.
"The Ultimate Guide to High School Essay Contests" (CollegeVine)
See this handy guide from CollegeVine for a list of more competitions you can enter with your academic essay, from the National Council of Teachers of English Achievement Awards to the National High School Essay Contest by the U.S. Institute of Peace.
Whether you're struggling to write academic essays or you think you're a pro, there are workshops and online tools that can help you become an even better writer. Even the most seasoned writers encounter writer's block, so be proactive and look through our curated list of resources to combat this common frustration.
Online Essay-writing Classes and Workshops
"Getting Started with Essay Writing" (Coursera)
Coursera offers lots of free, high-quality online classes taught by college professors. Here's one example, taught by instructors from the University of California Irvine.
"Writing and English" (Brightstorm)
Brightstorm's free video lectures are easy to navigate by topic. This unit on the parts of an essay features content on the essay hook, thesis, supporting evidence, and more.
"How to Write an Essay" (EdX)
EdX is another open online university course website with several two- to five-week courses on the essay. This one is geared toward English language learners.
Writer's Digest University
This renowned writers' website offers online workshops and interactive tutorials. The courses offered cover everything from how to get started through how to get published.
Writing.com
Signing up for this online writer's community gives you access to helpful resources as well as an international community of writers.
How to Overcome Writer's Block
"Symptoms and Cures for Writer's Block" (Purdue OWL)
Purdue OWL offers a list of signs you might have writer's block, along with ways to overcome it. Consider trying out some "invention strategies" or ways to curb writing anxiety.
"Overcoming Writer's Block: Three Tips" ( The Guardian )
These tips, geared toward academic writing specifically, are practical and effective. The authors advocate setting realistic goals, creating dedicated writing time, and participating in social writing.
"Writing Tips: Strategies for Overcoming Writer's Block" (Univ. of Illinois)
This page from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign's Center for Writing Studies acquaints you with strategies that do and do not work to overcome writer's block.
"Writer's Block" (Univ. of Toronto)
Ask yourself the questions on this page; if the answer is "yes," try out some of the article's strategies. Each question is accompanied by at least two possible solutions.
If you have essays to write but are short on ideas, this section's links to prompts, example student essays, and celebrated essays by professional writers might help. You'll find writing prompts from a variety of sources, student essays to inspire you, and a number of essay writing collections.
Essay Writing Prompts
"50 Argumentative Essay Topics" (ThoughtCo)
Take a look at this list and the others ThoughtCo has curated for different kinds of essays. As the author notes, "a number of these topics are controversial and that's the point."
"401 Prompts for Argumentative Writing" ( New York Times )
This list (and the linked lists to persuasive and narrative writing prompts), besides being impressive in length, is put together by actual high school English teachers.
"SAT Sample Essay Prompts" (College Board)
If you're a student in the U.S., your classroom essay prompts are likely modeled on the prompts in U.S. college entrance exams. Take a look at these official examples from the SAT.
"Popular College Application Essay Topics" (Princeton Review)
This page from the Princeton Review dissects recent Common Application essay topics and discusses strategies for answering them.
Example Student Essays
"501 Writing Prompts" (DePaul Univ.)
This nearly 200-page packet, compiled by the LearningExpress Skill Builder in Focus Writing Team, is stuffed with writing prompts, example essays, and commentary.
"Topics in English" (Kibin)
Kibin is a for-pay essay help website, but its example essays (organized by topic) are available for free. You'll find essays on everything from A Christmas Carol to perseverance.
"Student Writing Models" (Thoughtful Learning)
Thoughtful Learning, a website that offers a variety of teaching materials, provides sample student essays on various topics and organizes them by grade level.
"Five-Paragraph Essay" (ThoughtCo)
In this blog post by a former professor of English and rhetoric, ThoughtCo brings together examples of five-paragraph essays and commentary on the form.
The Best Essay Writing Collections
The Best American Essays of the Century by Joyce Carol Oates (Amazon)
This collection of American essays spanning the twentieth century was compiled by award winning author and Princeton professor Joyce Carol Oates.
The Best American Essays 2017 by Leslie Jamison (Amazon)
Leslie Jamison, the celebrated author of essay collection The Empathy Exams , collects recent, high-profile essays into a single volume.
The Art of the Personal Essay by Phillip Lopate (Amazon)
Documentary writer Phillip Lopate curates this historical overview of the personal essay's development, from the classical era to the present.
The White Album by Joan Didion (Amazon)
This seminal essay collection was authored by one of the most acclaimed personal essayists of all time, American journalist Joan Didion.
Consider the Lobster by David Foster Wallace (Amazon)
Read this famous essay collection by David Foster Wallace, who is known for his experimentation with the essay form. He pushed the boundaries of personal essay, reportage, and political polemic.
"50 Successful Harvard Application Essays" (Staff of the The Harvard Crimson )
If you're looking for examples of exceptional college application essays, this volume from Harvard's daily student newspaper is one of the best collections on the market.
Are you an instructor looking for the best resources for teaching essay writing? This section contains resources for developing in-class activities and student homework assignments. You'll find content from both well-known university writing centers and online writing labs.
Essay Writing Classroom Activities for Students
"In-class Writing Exercises" (Univ. of North Carolina Writing Center)
This page lists exercises related to brainstorming, organizing, drafting, and revising. It also contains suggestions for how to implement the suggested exercises.
"Teaching with Writing" (Univ. of Minnesota Center for Writing)
Instructions and encouragement for using "freewriting," one-minute papers, logbooks, and other write-to-learn activities in the classroom can be found here.
"Writing Worksheets" (Berkeley Student Learning Center)
Berkeley offers this bank of writing worksheets to use in class. They are nested under headings for "Prewriting," "Revision," "Research Papers" and more.
"Using Sources and Avoiding Plagiarism" (DePaul University)
Use these activities and worksheets from DePaul's Teaching Commons when instructing students on proper academic citation practices.
Essay Writing Homework Activities for Students
"Grammar and Punctuation Exercises" (Aims Online Writing Lab)
These five interactive online activities allow students to practice editing and proofreading. They'll hone their skills in correcting comma splices and run-ons, identifying fragments, using correct pronoun agreement, and comma usage.
"Student Interactives" (Read Write Think)
Read Write Think hosts interactive tools, games, and videos for developing writing skills. They can practice organizing and summarizing, writing poetry, and developing lines of inquiry and analysis.
This free website offers writing and grammar activities for all grade levels. The lessons are designed to be used both for large classes and smaller groups.
"Writing Activities and Lessons for Every Grade" (Education World)
Education World's page on writing activities and lessons links you to more free, online resources for learning how to "W.R.I.T.E.": write, revise, inform, think, and edit.
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How to Write the Perfect Essay
06 Feb, 2024 | Blog Articles , English Language Articles , Get the Edge , Humanities Articles , Writing Articles
You can keep adding to this plan, crossing bits out and linking the different bubbles when you spot connections between them. Even though you wonât have time to make a detailed plan under exam conditions, it can be helpful to draft a brief one, including a few key words, so that you donât panic and go off topic when writing your essay.
If you donât like the mind map format, there are plenty of others to choose from: you could make a table, a flowchart, or simply a list of bullet points.
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Thanks for signing up, step 2: have a clear structure.
Think about this while you’re planning: your essay is like an argument or a speech. It needs to have a logical structure, with all your points coming together to answer the question.
Start with the basics! It’s best to choose a few major points which will become your main paragraphs. Three main paragraphs is a good number for an exam essay, since you’ll be under time pressure.Â
If you agree with the question overall, it can be helpful to organise your points in the following pattern:
- YES (agreement with the question)
- AND (another YES point)
- BUT (disagreement or complication)
If you disagree with the question overall, try:
- AND (another BUT point)
For example, you could structure the Of Mice and Men sample question, “To what extent is Curleyâs wife portrayed as a victim in Of Mice and Men ?”, as follows:
- YES (descriptions of her appearance)
- AND (other people’s attitudes towards her)
- BUT (her position as the only woman on the ranch gives her power as she uses her femininity to her advantage)
If you wanted to write a longer essay, you could include additional paragraphs under the YES/AND categories, perhaps discussing the ways in which Curleyâs wife reveals her vulnerability and insecurities, and shares her dreams with the other characters. Alternatively, you could also lengthen your essay by including another BUT paragraph about her cruel and manipulative streak.
Of course, this is not necessarily the only right way to answer this essay question â as long as you back up your points with evidence from the text, you can take any standpoint that makes sense.
Step 3: Back up your points with well-analysed quotations
You wouldnât write a scientific report without including evidence to support your findings, so why should it be any different with an essay? Even though you arenât strictly required to substantiate every single point you make with a quotation, thereâs no harm in trying.
A close reading of your quotations can enrich your appreciation of the question and will be sure to impress examiners. When selecting the best quotations to use in your essay, keep an eye out for specific literary techniques. For example, you could highlight Curleyâs wifeâs use of a rhetorical question when she says, a”nâ what am I doinâ? Standinâ here talking to a bunch of bindle stiffs.” This might look like:
The rhetorical question âanâ what am I doinâ?â signifies that Curleyâs wife is very insecure; she seems to be questioning her own life choices. Moreover, she does not expect anyone to respond to her question, highlighting her loneliness and isolation on the ranch.
Other literary techniques to look out for include:
- Tricolon â a group of three words or phrases placed close together for emphasis
- Tautology â using different words that mean the same thing: e.g. “frightening” and “terrifying”
- Parallelism â ABAB structure, often signifying movement from one concept to another
- Chiasmus â ABBA structure, drawing attention to a phrase
- Polysyndeton â many conjunctions in a sentence
- Asyndeton â lack of conjunctions, which can speed up the pace of a sentence
- Polyptoton â using the same word in different forms for emphasis: e.g. “done” and “doing”
- Alliteration â repetition of the same sound, including assonance (similar vowel sounds), plosive alliteration (“b”, “d” and “p” sounds) and sibilance (“s” sounds)
- Anaphora â repetition of words, often used to emphasise a particular point
Donât worry if you canât locate all of these literary devices in the work youâre analysing. You can also discuss more obvious techniques, like metaphor, simile and onomatopoeia. Itâs not a problem if you canât remember all the long names; itâs far more important to be able to confidently explain the effects of each technique and highlight its relevance to the question.
Step 4: Be creative and original throughout
Anyone can write an essay using the tips above, but the thing that really makes it “perfect” is your own unique take on the topic. If youâve noticed something intriguing or unusual in your reading, point it out â if you find it interesting, chances are the examiner will too!
Creative writing and essay writing are more closely linked than you might imagine. Keep the idea that youâre writing a speech or argument in mind, and youâre guaranteed to grab your readerâs attention.
Itâs important to set out your line of argument in your introduction, introducing your main points and the general direction your essay will take, but donât forget to keep something back for the conclusion, too. Yes, you need to summarise your main points, but if youâre just repeating the things you said in your introduction, the body of the essay is rendered pointless.
Think of your conclusion as the climax of your speech, the bit everything else has been leading up to, rather than the boring plenary at the end of the interesting stuff.
To return to Of Mice and Men once more, here’s an example of the ideal difference between an introduction and a conclusion:
Introduction
In John Steinbeckâs Of Mice and Men , Curleyâs wife is portrayed as an ambiguous character. She could be viewed either as a cruel, seductive temptress or a lonely woman who is a victim of her societyâs attitudes. Though she does seem to wield a form of sexual power, it is clear that Curleyâs wife is largely a victim. This interpretation is supported by Steinbeckâs description of her appearance, other peopleâs attitudes, her dreams, and her evident loneliness and insecurity.
Overall, it is clear that Curleyâs wife is a victim and is portrayed as such throughout the novel in the descriptions of her appearance, her dreams, other peopleâs judgemental attitudes, and her loneliness and insecurities. However, a character who was a victim and nothing else would be one-dimensional and Curleyâs wife is not. Although she suffers in many ways, she is shown to assert herself through the manipulation of her femininity â a small rebellion against the victimisation she experiences.
Both refer back consistently to the question and summarise the essayâs main points. However, the conclusion adds something new which has been established in the main body of the essay and complicates the simple summary which is found in the introduction.
Hannah is an undergraduate English student at Somerville College, University of Oxford, and has a particular interest in postcolonial literature and the Gothic. She thinks literature is a crucial way of developing empathy and learning about the wider world. When she isn’t writing about 17th-century court masques, she enjoys acting, travelling and creative writing.Â
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11 Places to Find Great College Essay Examples
College Essays
Sure, you might know the theory behind what a college essay is supposed to sound and look like . But just like reading a description of the Golden Gate Bridge pales in comparison to seeing it in person, thereâs no replacement for seeing actual college essays written by students just like you. Well, almost like you â theyâve since gotten into college.
But where do you find good sources for reading sample college essays? How can you make sure that these resources will actually strengthen and improve your writing? And what is the best way to use the college essay examples that you do find? In this article, Iâll go over the best books and websites for finding essays, Iâll point out a few to avoid, and Iâll explain how to make the most out of other peopleâs essays while avoiding common pitfalls.
Why Look At College Essay Examples?
There are some very good reasons for wanting to check out how other people have handled the college admissions essay.
First, because you'll be able to get a better sense of what colleges are looking for, you will necessarily broaden your own topic brainstorming past your first, easiest, and most c lichéd i deas . It's one thing to hear that a completely mundane topic is way better than one focusing on your greatest sports moment. But once you see other students writing about a family meal, or an obsession with a particular board game, or a love of cultivating cacti, you'll be convinced to find your essay in the small moments of your life.
Second, you'll see how your life and writing compares to that of your peers . The great diversity of voices, topics, tones, points of view will show you just how many things you could possibly write about, and how to keep the essay connected to your personality and your voice.
Finally, if you really do have a good story to tell about something that gets written about a lot, like divorce, pet death, a community service trip, or winning the big game, you can get ideas for how to approach a potentially lackluster essay topic in a novel and striking way .
What Makes A Good Sample College Essay Resource?
First, the basics. A source is only as good as its content, so make sure you're reading college essays that worked, from people who actually got into the schools they applied to . Also, it's best to focus on new essays (not older than 10-15 years), so you are reading what has worked in the most recent past, rather than seeing outdated ideas and historical perspectives.
Next, what you really want is diversity in voice and perspective . Make sure the essays featured come from many different kinds of students: either from applicants to both top and lower-tier schools; or from students with different ethnic, economic, and racial backgrounds; or from writers using both formal and more experimental essay techniques.
Finally, the best sources of admission essays will feature explanatory material . This will give each essay some kind of context: commentary on what makes the essay good, explanations of the drafting process, or, at least, biographical information about students. Without commentary or context, itâs hard to know what youâre supposed to learn from the essays you read.
Where to Find Great College Essay Examples
Here are my recommendations for excellent resources, as well as some warnings about resources that I think you should avoid.
College Essays Collected in Books
I've taken a look at many of the books that collect college essays, so here are my recommendations. I've divided them into three categories:
- Excellent â meaning having really diverse essays or very helpful commentary on each essay, or both
- Worthwhile â meaning either a helpful collection of essays without a lot of context or commentary, or some great advice but a narrow selection of essays geared toward one particular type of school
- Don't Bother â not useful either as a source of college essays or as a source of essay-writing advice and explanations
Also, please note that although Iâve listed the Amazon prices for all the books, you should definitely check your school and public library for copies before buying them. And even if your library doesn't have a copy, ask them to request one either from another library in the same system or even from the Library of Congress through interlibrary loan .
Excellent Books
Heavenly Essays: 50 Narrative College Application Essays That Worked
Written by Janine W. Robinson, who blogs about college essays at EssayHell , this book features great sample essays. But it's Robinson's precise and clear explanations of how to use a narrative style in your essay to tell a story about your life that make the book really outstanding. Through long and detailed commentary on each essay, Robinson shows why narrative is exactly the kind of structure that works best for personal essays. You can check out sample sections from the book on her blog. The book retails for $10 new on Amazon.
On Writing the College Application Essay, 25th Anniversary Edition: The Key to Acceptance at the College of Your Choice
Harry Bauld used to be an admissions officer at Brown, so he certainly knows what he is talking about when he writes about how and why to avoid clichés and explains how to find and keep your specific voice . Bauld demonstrates his points with sample essays, showing how they go from first to final draft. The book is easy to read, uses humor to make points, and his advice will carry over into your college writing as well. It is $12.50 new on Amazon, but there are much cheaper used copies available there as well.
The Berkeley Book of College Essays: Personal Statements for California Universities and Other Select Schools
This compilation features college admissions essays written by seniors from Berkeley High School (which is not affiliated with UC Berkeley). Because the city of Berkeley is economically, racially, and ethnically very diverse, these essays are about many different interests, perspectives, and experiences, and are written in many different styles and tones . Although there is no commentary for the essays, this collection is a great way to get a sense of the broad array of essay possibilities.
Also, because many of the students from Berkeley High apply to UC schools, this collection separates out UC application essay packages. (If you are interested in UC, also check out our own guide to writing excellent UC essays !) This book is currently $15 on Amazon.
50 Successful Harvard Application Essays: What Worked for Them Can Help You Get into the College of Your Choice
Edited by the staff of the Harvard Crimson, this is a great collection of essays from a not particularly diverse group of students. It is very useful to see how the very top students approach the college essay, as long as their best effort neither intimidates nor stymies you. The contextual material is excellent, with helpful explanations of what makes each essay work well. This book retails for $12 new on Amazon, with much cheaper used copies also available.
Worthwhile Books
College Essays That Made a Difference, 6th Edition
This Princeton Review guide is mostly distinguished by its introductory material, which has detailed interviews with many different colleges at many different tiers about what role essays play in college applications, what kind of mistakes are okay, and what to write and not to write about. The sample essays themselves come without commentary, but each features a very short bio of the student, including test scores, GPA, a list of colleges where the person applied, and a list of colleges where the person got in. Right now, it's $11.50 new on Amazon, but there are cheaper used copies as well.
50 Successful Ivy League Application Essays
This collection of of college essays that worked, edited by Gen and Kelly Tanabe, has somewhat spare, but insightful, commentary explaining what each essay does well and what it could have done better . It also includes an interview with an admissions officer explaining how essays are used in admissions decisions and some comments from students about the writing process. The link above is to a downloadable PDF file.
50 Successful Stanford Application Essays: Get into Stanford and Other Top Colleges
If you like the Tanabes' approach (they are the authors of the previous book), then you will find this one useful as well. The narrow diversity of essay content and the style of commentary (thoughtful, but not particularly detailed or expansive) is very similar. It's priced at $13.25 new on Amazon with some used options as well.
Fiske Real College Essays That Work
The "Fiske" of the title is Edward Fiske, who used to be the Education editor of the NY Times, and who therefore has some experience with what colleges want from their applicants. The book itself features an introduction with some helpful essay-writing tips, a diverse selection of essays built around narrative, but unfortunately has very little commentary to go with each essay . It retails for $12.50 new on Amazon, with cheaper used options available.
2015 Elite College Application Essays
Although there's almost no commentary or discussion of what makes these essays work, this book is a reasonably good collection of essays from students who are now enrolled at Ivy and other top-tier schools. What's particularly appealing about this college essay compilation is how very new these essays are: all are from students who became freshmen in 2015 . The book is $14 new on Amazon.
Don't Bother
100 Successful College Application Essays
I'd recommend not spending your time on any of the editions of this collection. The essays are decades old in some cases, the topics are clichéd and boring, and there is little to no commentary to make any of them useful.
College Essays Published Online
I'll split my recommendations here into "worthwhile" and "don't bother" categories. There aren't any truly great collections of sample college essays online.
Individual College Websites . There are many essays published online by the various colleges where these students now go. This means these essays are guaranteed to be real, authentic, and to have worked on someone's application . Some of the essays even come with brief commentary by admissions officers about what makes them great. (The link will take you to our list of over 130 essays from more than 15 different colleges.)
Teen Ink Magazine . Teen Ink publishes all sorts of writing by teens, including college admission essays, which are split off into their own section on the site. The essays necessary feature a wide range of experiences and perspectives, so this is a great place to get a broad sense of what other students are writing about. The essays don't have any context except comment sections that run the gamut from generic âthis is goodâ comments to some insight. Readers also get a chance to vote on which essays are featured as #1, #2, etc., which may be misleading because readers of Teen Ink aren't admissions officers.
Don't Bother
Watch out for paid websites like AdmitSee, CollegeMapper, and Acceptional, which claim to give you access to college essays for a monthly or fixed fee. Because of the paywall, there's no way to verify the quality of the essays these sites have. Also, there are enough books that you could borrow from your library that you donât need to pay monthly fees to these places. Finally, I would particularly stay away from AdmidSee, which uses Amazon reviews for other essay resources as a marketing platform.
The Best Ways To Use College Admission Essay Samples
So now that you've rounded up a bunch of sample college essays, what should you do with them? Here are some tips for your next steps.
When Should You Read Essay Examples?
I'd advise waiting until after you've done some brainstorming of your own before you start immersing yourself in other people's work and ideas. (If you're not sure how to brainstorm, check out our guide to coming up with great college essay topics .)
This way, you can use other peopleâs essays to think about different possibilities for writing about your own topic. For example, looking at how other people tackled their life experience can show you:
- how to focus on a different detail in your own story
- how to change the insight you want to draw from your story
- how to think about different ways to start and end your narrative
What Can Good College Essays Teach You?
There are both broad and specific learning opportunities to be found in reading other people's work.
Broadly speaking, seeing how other people are approaching the problem of writing a college essay can jog your own creative process. Likewise, reading a diversity of thoughts and voices will show you that even the most normal and boring seeming experiences be made into riveting essays.
More specifically, if you find essays from applicants to your target school, you can get some sense of the level of sophistication they expect to see from your writing.
Finally, good context and commentary on the essays can show you how they are put together and what makes them work. You can then put this advice to use when rewriting your essay later.
Pitfalls To Avoid
Of course, being surrounded by other people's work, especially when some of that work is much better than what you think you can manage, has its share of temptations. So what do you need to guard against when looking at sample essays?
Plagiarism. This one is basic and obvious. Do not copy these sample essays! Admissions officers have seen them all, read them all, memorized them all â you will not get away with it.
Copying and mimicry. Think of this as a softer kind of plagiarism. Even if you really like someone elseâs style, donât borrow it. Even if someoneâs life sounds more exciting than yours, donât steal a piece of it for your own essay. Why? Because if you donât sound like yourself, it will be visible to an experienced reader (and guess what, admissions officers are very experienced readers). Also, if youâre writing about experiences that aren't yours, your unfamiliarity will show through the lack of believable details.
Resources for Essay Writing Advice
In researching this article, I came across books and websites that don't necessarily feature a lot of sample essays, but that give really excellent advice on writing your own college essay. I strongly recommend you spend some time checking them out.
Essay Hell blog . This great resource is written by Janine Anderson Robinson, an English teacher and a journalist, whose book Heavenly Essays I recommended above. The blog posts feature lots and lots of well-explained, detailed, easy to understand advice about how to write your essay, and are broken down into easy to understand, bite-sized nuggets of usefulness.
Slate 's Getting In podcast . The entire series is an interesting look at the college application process, with useful tips and explanations about all aspects what seniors are going through. Check out Episode 2: The Essay , in which a student gets feedback in real time on their essay from a former Princeton director of admissions and a panel of experts talk about essay dos and donâts. The episode is 26 minutes long.
The College Essay Trap: Rescue Your College Application Essay From the "Maybe" Pile
This is incredibly concise and excellent explanation of what not to do and what to avoid when writing your personal statement. It's short, sweet, to the point, and is praised to the skies by legendary Princeton admissions dean Fred Hargadon. Currently $12 new on Amazon.
The Bottom Line
- Look at college essay examples to broaden your own topic brainstorming and get ideas for fixing lackluster topics.
- Look for resources with diverse and recent essays, from many different kinds of students and with explanatory material that explains what makes each essay good.
- Look at essay samples after youâve generated some of your own ideas to think about different possibilities for writing about your own topic.
- Seeing how other people are approaching the problem of writing a college essay can jog your creative process.
- Avoid both actual plagiarism and âborrowingâ: donât use someone elseâs style, voice, or life experiences as your own.
Whatâs Next?
If youâre starting to work on college essays, check out our article laying out every single kind of essay prompt out there and a step by step guide to writing a great college essay .
Are you working on the Common App essay? Read our breakdown of the Common App prompts and our guide to picking the best prompt for you.
Or maybe you're interested in the University of California? Check out our complete guide to the UC personal statements .
Working on other pieces of your college applications? Weâve got guides to choosing the right college for you , writing about extracurriculars , and requesting teacher recommendations .
Thinking about taking the SAT one last time, or prepping for your first run at it? Read our ultimate guide to studying for the SAT and make sure you're as prepared as possible.
These recommendations are based solely on our knowledge and experience. If you purchase an item through one of our links, PrepScholar may receive a commission.
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Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.
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Academic Essay
Essay generator.
When creating an academic essay , it is very important for you to relay a sensible and clear argument to your target readers. Since academic essays are widely used in the field of education and research, you need to ensure that you do both logical, interesting and informative writing . The items that are commonly seen in an academic essay contain insights, actual occurrences, ideas, and facts.
What is Academic Essay?
An academic essay is a structured form of writing that serves the purpose of presenting and supporting a thesis or argument on a specific topic. It is commonly used in educational settings to assess students’ understanding, analytical skills, and ability to research and convey their findings. An academic essay typically follows a clear format, including an introduction with a thesis statement, body paragraphs that provide evidence and analysis to support the thesis, and a conclusion that summarizes the main points and reinforces the essay’s central argument. This type of essay requires critical thinking and a formal tone, with evidence cited from reputable sources to back up claims made within the text.
Download Academic Essay Bundle
A lot of students tend to think that an academic essay, just like any other college essay , is something that is too technical or defined. However, you can always write one depending on how you perceive a specific topic of discussion or how you interpret an instance or any other subjects. The samples that we have for you can be a great help if you would like to start writing your academic essay already.
Academic Essay Writing Format/ Outline
1. title page (if required).
Includes the essay’s title, the author’s name, and institutional affiliation.
2. Introduction
Hook : Opens with a statement to grab the reader’s interest. Background Information : Provides context for the topic being discussed. Thesis Statement : Presents the main argument or claim of the essay.
3. Body Paragraphs
Each paragraph should focus on a single idea that supports the thesis, structured as follows:
Topic Sentence : Introduces the main idea of the paragraph. Evidence and Analysis : Includes data, quotes, or examples to support the topic sentence, followed by an explanation of how this evidence supports the thesis. Transition : Connects to the next paragraph or idea.
4. Conclusion
Summary of Main Points : Restates the key arguments or findings presented in the body paragraphs. Restatement of Thesis : Reinforces the essay’s main argument in light of the evidence presented. Closing Thought : Offers a final insight, a call to action, or a suggestion for further research.
Example of Academic Essay Writing
The Impact of Social Media on Communication In the digital age, social media has revolutionized the way we communicate, transcending physical boundaries and transforming social interactions. This essay explores the profound impact of social media on communication, examining both its positive advancements and negative implications. While social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram have enhanced our ability to connect with others, they have also led to a decline in face-to-face interactions and a dilution of personal communication skills. Social media has made it easier than ever to stay connected with friends and family, regardless of geographical distance. A study by Smith and Duggan (2016) found that 75% of internet users utilize social media to maintain relationships with distant family and friends. This widespread use of social media for keeping in touch demonstrates its role as a vital communication tool, bridging the gap between people worldwide. However, the reliance on social media for communication has led to a decrease in the quality of interpersonal interactions. Research by Johnson (2018) indicates a 40% decline in face-to-face conversations among young adults, correlating with increased social media usage. The preference for digital communication over personal interaction suggests a shift in social dynamics, potentially harming relational depth and emotional connections. Moreover, social media has affected our communication skills, particularly among younger generations. A survey by Lee (2019) revealed that 60% of teachers believe social media use has adversely affected students’ writing and verbal communication skills. The informal language and abbreviations common in social media posts and messages are infiltrating academic and professional communications, underscoring the need for a balanced approach to digital interactions. Social media has undeniably transformed communication, offering unparalleled connectivity but also presenting significant challenges. While it fosters global connections, its overuse can undermine personal interactions and communication skills. Balancing social media use with face-to-face communication is crucial for maintaining meaningful relationships and effective communication in the 21st century.
What is an example of academic writing?
Title: The Impact of Climate Change on Biodiversity
Introduction: Climate change, driven primarily by human activities such as the burning of fossil fuels and deforestation, has emerged as a critical global concern. This essay aims to explore the multifaceted impacts of climate change on biodiversity. The effects of rising temperatures, altered weather patterns, and habitat destruction are increasingly evident, with far-reaching consequences for ecosystems and species worldwide.
Body Paragraph: One of the most noticeable consequences of climate change is the shifting geographical ranges of numerous species. Warmer temperatures prompt species to migrate to higher altitudes or latitudes, as they seek habitats that align with their thermal preferences. This phenomenon is evident in various ecosystems, including mountain regions, where alpine plants and animals have progressively moved uphill. These migrations, while adaptive, can disrupt established predator-prey relationships and competition for resources. Such shifts can also lead to reduced biodiversity in lower-altitude regions as some species fail to adapt or relocate successfully.
- Smith, J., & Johnson, A. (2019). Impacts of Climate Change on Alpine Plant Communities. Environmental Studies Journal , 42(3), 256-270.
- Wilson, P., & Davis, R. (2020). Climate-Induced Shifts in Animal Distributions: Evidence from a Decadal Study. Ecology and Evolution , 10(12), 5963-5972.
Conclusion:
In conclusion, climate change exerts profound effects on biodiversity, manifesting through shifts in species distributions, altered ecological relationships, and habitat loss. As global temperatures continue to rise, addressing these impacts becomes increasingly urgent. Conservation efforts, sustainable practices, and international cooperation are essential in mitigating the repercussions of climate change on the world’s diverse ecosystems and species.
Academic Essay Topics with Samples to Edit & Download
- Pollution due to urbanization
- The environmental causes of smoking
- The outcomes of global warming
- Abortion as a controversy
- Causes of obesity in teenagers
- Childhood memories
- Fathers should get equal paternity leave
- Harmful dogs should be euthanized
- How does divorce affects children?
- How does technology affect productivity?
- Importance of preserving threatened species
- Parenting styles and motives
- Political issues in the U.S.
- Romantic relationships
- Should schools abolish homework?
- Violent video games should be banned
- Ways of protecting the environment
Academic Essay Writing Examples & Templates
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16. Sample Academic Essay Example
17. Academic Essay Writing Sample Example
18. Free Academic Essay Sample Guide
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19. Sample Academic Essay Outline
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Are You Ready and Prepared to Create an Academic Essay?
Different types of academic writing require an individual to have a clear thought process within the entirety of idea development. You have to be focused on what you would like to achieve your final written output so you can incorporate successful guides and processes within the activity. Some of the things that you can talk about in an academic essay include the following:
- Human behavior, characteristics, and emotions
- Community relations
- Natural occurrences
- Language and its effective usages
- Culture and the arts
- Academic researchers
- Relevant cultural phenomenon
- Photography and other artistic undertakings
- Human interactions
- Other subjects that are related to education and academics
Knowing the subject of your article is only one of the initial things that can help you prepare during the writing process. Here are some ways on how you can be ready to write your academic essay:
- You need to have an order of writing that can easily showcase the flow of your thoughts. You must ensure that you can easily connect with your readers or audience so they can respond to the content of your article. Your academic essay should evoke an emotion that is necessary to spark other ideas, opinions and other kinds of responses.
- You need to be aware that academic essays differ depending on the educational or academic discipline where they will be used. Â There are certain ways that are necessary to be followed in various fields for an academic essay to be deemed effective. With this, always be mindful of the directions or instructions were given to you by the entity who requires you to write an academic essay.
- You do not need to pattern your writing to the works of others. You can be ready even by just knowing your subject and researching about it. The style of writing that you have can give the most difference to how you write and how you present your work. Always keep in mind that your academic essay should be playful – it must not bore your audience.
- You must think of your academic essay as an enterprise by using scholastic writing approaches. The conversation that you can create with your readers must be relevant to what is happening nowadays or for the study that specific student groups need. Being able to give focus on the relativity of your written work can make it easier for readers to understand why your academic essay is important within the academic field.
- You should ensure that your thesis statement is precise, concise, and strong. When you are in the process of developing your academic essay’s thesis, you need to make sure that you are not just basing your write-up on unreliable information. Always refer to evidence, facts, and real data as it can help you strengthen your claims. More so, do not forget to reference your essays  when necessary.
Things to Remember When Identifying the Purpose of Your Academic Essay
An academic essay always has to be relevant. It needs to be beneficial to a specific group or to the majority of the academic community. The motive of your essay is very important to be considered as it can identify whether you can be of help to the people who need a particular educational reference. Here are a few things that you need to remember when identifying the purpose of your own academic essay:
- Do not create an academic essay just for the sake of passing it. Your academic essay is more than an assignment or a project. There are some last minute essay writing activities that are done in various fields especially if students think that an academic essay is just a part of their requirements. However, what these students do not know is that an academic essay is a representation of themselves. It showcases the thoughts of the students, what they have learned may it be in class or through self-discovery, and how they are impacted by certain issues and subjects of discussion. This is where the value of a Free Essay and an Informative Essay becomes evident, as both types of essays encourage students to express their understanding and insights on a given topic freely and informatively.
- Be precise with the purpose of your writing. An academic letter is not just a document that can showcase your mastery when it comes to a particular academic subject. It can talk about a specific subject or it can also be a general paper that can provide a lot of information about your experiences and/or insights. This is where the importance of a Self-Introduction Essay comes into play, allowing you to present a personal narrative that reflects your academic journey and achievements. Similarly, an Expository Essay helps in laying out facts and an unbiased analysis of a topic, further enriching the academic discourse. If you will have a precise purpose when writing an academic essay, there is no doubt that your essay will not be pointless.
- Always think of the best case that can help you represent your thoughts. Your style of writing, as well as the entire document’s format and content, can help you realize your ideas. This includes the succinctness and clarity often found in a Short Essay , where the challenge is to convey your thoughts within a limited word count effectively. Similarly, a Scholarship Essay requires you to articulate your achievements and aspirations in a way that resonates with scholarship committees, demonstrating your potential and need for financial support. With this, your point of writing can easily be identified by readers. Being able to present your purpose the best way possible can add up to the success of your academic paper.
Developing an Academic Essay
For you to be able to persuade your readers with the content of your academic essay, there is a need for you to present a structure that can easily identify your claims, arguments, observations, and/or factual presentations. Integrating a Student Essay can demonstrate the personal perspective or learning journey of an individual, making your arguments more relatable. Similarly, incorporating a Travel Essay could enrich your essay by providing unique insights and observations from different cultures or environments. Being clear about how you present your idea is essential for people to see the context of your academic essay.
If you have an organized manner of putting together the concepts of your academic essay, then validating your thesis statement can be more evident. To avoid common essay mistakes  and other negative factors that can affect your desired output, here is a basic guide on how you can develop your own academic essay:
- Start by creating a strong thesis statement. Identify your stand and make sure to strictly present evidence that can help you claim its authenticity and validity. Reveal evidence after your thesis statement presentation. Your thesis statement serves as your introduction speech . It lets your readers know the topic of your academic essay and what they can expect from the entire article.
- Establish the context of your essay after your thesis statement. The way that you approach your topic can let readers know whether it is the specific approach that they also need for their undertakings. There are different contexts that can be used within the same subject, so you have to make sure that you will be clear when it comes to identifying the part of the topic that you are going to talk about. This clarity can be achieved through a Descriptive Essay , where vivid descriptions and details about the topic can enlighten and engage the reader. Additionally, understanding the Parts of an Essay is crucial in structuring your thoughts and arguments effectively. Limiting your topic discussion can help you give more focus to what is important for your discussion, ensuring that each part contributes meaningfully to the whole.
- Create the next paragraphs based on the data that can support your thesis statement. The body of your academic essay can be based on your observations, reviews, statements and research outputs. You can present these items separately through the usage of various paragraphs. However, there are instances where it will be better if you can combine or compare to evidence to make your statements more effective.
- Conclude. Your conclusion is as important as your introduction. If you believe that you have created a strong introduction, you have to maintain that until the end of your academic essay. Sum up all the information that you have presented so that people can identify whether your conclusion has lived up to the content of what you have written. Your conclusion can also be used to assess whether your thesis statement has been carried within the entirety of your discussion.
Importance of a Well-Defined Thesis Statement in an Academic Essay
A thesis statement is a paragraph or a set of paragraphs that identifies your stand about your subject. There is a need for this statement to be created as it can affect the entirety of your academic paper. Here are some of the reasons why it is important to develop an effective thesis statement before and while writing your academic paper:
- Your thesis statement is a reflection of your actual idea. This helps you present the point that you would like to make and the message that you actually want to disseminate to your readers. Through a thesis statement, you can organize the evidence that are relevant to your claims based on their relevance to the topic and how you view it as a writer.
- Your thesis statement can guide you within the entirety of your writing processes. Just because you have already done an initial thesis statement does not mean that you are going to fully stick with it until the end of your writing. There are instances where thesis statements are developed or even changes during the creation of an academic essay depending on how the research about the topic has evolved.
- Your thesis statement can allow you to establish originality. Since your academic essay can be based on your research findings and observations, your thesis statement can be your platform to specify what you have come up with. Through a well-defined thesis statement, you can set your output apart from other essay examples that have been written by professionals and other entities in the field of academics.
- Your thesis statement is one of the items that the audience will look at when referencing for credibility and validity. Academic essays need to have a strong initial impact on readers. This statement can help them be focused on a particular standpoint which can enlighten them about your views and opinions, and how these are essential to be considered.
- Your thesis statement can help your readers immerse in your academic essay. The material that you will be coming up with can be reviewed by different people. Depending on the field of education where you are currently in, you need to make sure that your readers can see patterns of evidence presented so they can clearly see how you were able to generate and come up with insights. You have to ensure that the thesis statement that you have created contains the most promising thought so you can get the trust or even the acceptance of your readers about your academic essay’s subject.
Guidelines in Writing an Academic Essay
The course materials that you need to talk about within an academic essay can reflect your level of understanding about the subject. Simply put, an academic essay can be an evidence of the depth of your research procedures and all the other activities that you have executed so that you can support the content of your written output. Listed below are some of the guidelines that can be useful to your academic essay writing processes.
- Always analyze your essay prompt or the question that you need to answer or explain. You have to know whether you are tasked to argue, analyze, or discuss the topic. There will be times where you also need to compare the items present in your subject or explain the underlying factors that can affect your topic.
- Make sure that you will research about what you will write about . Your academic essay can only be fully-maximized if you can present facts. Primary research may be a helpful bit a more precise review of your research topic can help you gather more information that can be helpful in the development of your content. Always assess your sources of information so you can ensure that they are credible.
- Create a draft so that you will have a guide when writing your academic essay. If you will be organized when writing your academic essay, you can create an output that is well-curated and comprehensive. With this, your academic essay can provide more impact to your readers. This can also help you gather your thoughts first and identify how you can put them all together in the most cohesive and efficient way possible.
If you still do not feel confident in writing your own academic essay from scratch, then you can refer to templates and samples which you can download online. Doing this will allow you to be more familiar with the common content and basic formats that are usually seen in an academic essay. When using a template as a guide, always make sure that it is applicable to the study that you are practicing or the academic field or discipline where you will use your academic essay.
As a student, there will always be an instance where we will be required to write an academic essay. If you want to create an academic essay that is both outstanding and relevant, always put the items that we have discussed above in mind.
Setting the Stage for Essay Writing Success
- Understand the Assignment: Carefully read and comprehend the essay prompt or assignment to grasp its requirements and objectives.
- Topic Selection: Choose a relevant and interesting topic that aligns with the assignment.
- Research: Gather credible sources and information related to your topic. Take thorough notes and document your sources.
- Thesis Statement: Develop a strong, clear, and concise thesis statement that presents the main argument of your essay.
- Outline: Create an outline that organizes your essay into sections, including the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each section should have a clear purpose.
- Writing Draft: Begin writing your essay, keeping the introduction engaging, and ensuring each body paragraph addresses a single point or idea supported by evidence.
- Citations: Properly cite sources as you write, following a recognized citation style (e.g., APA, MLA).
- Edit and Revise: Review and revise your draft, focusing on grammar, clarity, coherence, and organization.
- Proofread: Carefully proofread your essay for errors in spelling, punctuation, and sentence structure.
- Final Review: Double-check that your essay fulfills the assignment requirements, including formatting, citations, and references.
How do you write an academic essay?
- Understand the Assignment: Read the essay prompt or assignment thoroughly to grasp its requirements and objectives.
- Research: Gather relevant sources and information from books, articles, and credible online sources.
- Plan and Outline: Create an outline with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each section should have a clear purpose.
- Thesis Statement: Develop a strong thesis statement that presents the main argument of your essay.
- Introduction: Start with a compelling hook, provide background information, and present your thesis statement.
- Body Paragraphs: Each paragraph should focus on a single point or idea, supported by evidence or examples. Use topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph.
- Citations: Cite sources properly using a recognized citation style (e.g., APA, MLA, Chicago).
- Analysis and Critical Thinking: Analyze and evaluate the evidence or arguments presented, and make connections between them.
- Transition Sentences: Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas between paragraphs.
- Conclusion: Summarize the main points, restate the thesis, and provide a thoughtful conclusion that leaves a lasting impression.
Academic Essay Characteristics
Academic essays are distinguished by several key characteristics that set them apart from other types of writing. These features ensure that essays meet the rigorous standards of academic discourse and contribute effectively to scholarly conversations. Here are the primary characteristics of academic essays:
- Clear Purpose : An academic essay is written with a clear purpose, often to argue a point, present an analysis, or discuss a research finding. The purpose guides the structure and content of the essay.
- Structured Format : It follows a structured format with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This organization helps present arguments and evidence in a coherent and logical manner.
- Thesis Statement : A distinctive feature is the thesis statement, a concise summary of the main argument or claim, usually found at the end of the introduction. It sets the direction for the entire essay.
- Critical Analysis : Academic essays involve critical analysis of ideas, texts, or situations. Writers assess evidence, debate viewpoints, and use logic to develop their arguments.
- Evidence-Based Arguments : Claims made in academic essays are supported by evidence from credible sources. This includes data, statistics, research findings, and quotations from experts.
- Formal Tone and Style : The writing adopts a formal tone and style, avoiding colloquial language, personal anecdotes (unless relevant), and slang. It maintains an objective and professional voice.
Types of Academic Writing
Academic writing encompasses a variety of types, each serving a specific purpose and adhering to a particular format. Here are some of the main types of academic writing:
- Descriptive Writing : This type focuses on describing a character, event, or situation in detail. It’s often used in reports or descriptive essays, where the goal is to provide a clear picture of the subject to the reader.
- Analytical Writing : Analytical writing breaks down complex information into smaller components for better understanding. It involves comparing and contrasting, classifying, and analyzing causes and effects. This type is common in research papers and literature reviews.
- Persuasive Writing : Persuasive writing aims to convince the reader of the writer’s viewpoint or argument. It is characterized by a strong thesis statement, clear evidence, and logical reasoning to persuade the reader. Opinion pieces, argumentative essays, and proposals often employ persuasive writing.
- Expository Writing : Expository writing is used to explain or inform the reader about a specific topic in a clear, concise, and logical manner. It focuses on presenting facts, statistics, and examples without the writer’s personal opinions. This type includes most essays, many types of reports, and certain types of research papers.
- Reflective Writing : This type involves the writer reflecting on their personal experiences, thoughts, or feelings regarding a particular subject or experience. Reflective writing is subjective and is often used in journals, blogs, and reflection essays in educational settings.
- Critical Writing : Critical writing evaluates and critiques the work of others, such as books, articles, or artworks. It involves assessing the strengths and weaknesses of arguments, evidence, and methodologies. Literature reviews, critique essays, and certain types of research papers often require critical writing.
- Narrative Writing : Although less common in strict academic settings, narrative writing is used in certain disciplines to tell stories or describe events chronologically. Personal statements and some types of qualitative research may employ narrative writing to convey experiences and observations.
- Report Writing : Reports convey information from a writer to a reader, focusing on facts and evidence. They are structured and include sections like an introduction, methodology, findings, and conclusions. Lab reports, business reports, and technical reports are examples of this type.
Academic Writing Principles
Academic writing is governed by a set of core principles designed to ensure clarity, precision, and rigor in scholarly communication. Understanding and adhering to these principles is essential for effective academic writing. Here are the key principles:
- Clarity : Writing should be clear and understandable, avoiding unnecessary jargon and complexity to ensure that the reader can easily follow the argument or narrative.
- Coherence : The text should be logically organized, with a clear structure that guides the reader through the argument or discussion. Each part of the writing should connect to the others in a meaningful way.
- Conciseness : Academic writing should be concise, conveying ideas in as few words as necessary. This does not mean oversimplifying, but rather avoiding redundancy and verbosity.
- Objectivity : Writers should strive for objectivity, presenting information and arguments based on evidence rather than personal opinions or biases. This includes acknowledging counterarguments and limitations.
- Precision : Precision involves using the exact words to convey your meaning and being specific about your claims, evidence, and references. This also means accurately citing sources and providing specific data when necessary.
- Evidence-Based Argumentation : Arguments should be supported with appropriate evidence, such as data, examples, and citations from authoritative sources. This principle underscores the importance of research and verification in academic writing.
- Formality : The tone of academic writing is formal, which means avoiding colloquial language, contractions, slang, and humor. Formality also involves using the passive voice where appropriate and avoiding personal pronouns when making general arguments.
- Citation and Referencing : Proper citation and referencing of sources are fundamental to academic writing. This practice not only gives credit to original authors but also allows readers to verify sources and understand the basis of the evidence presented.
- Originality and Plagiarism Avoidance : Academic writing must be original and free from plagiarism. This means that writers should produce their own work based on their research and ideas and appropriately cite any sources they use.
- Critical Thinking : Effective academic writing reflects critical thinking, challenging assumptions, evaluating evidence, and synthesizing ideas from various sources to offer new insights or perspectives on a topic.
How do you start an academic essay sample?
Begin an academic essay sample with a captivating hook, provide context on the topic, and conclude the introduction with a clear and concise thesis statement that outlines your main argument.
What is the opening line of an academic essay?
The opening line of an academic essay should engage the reader’s interest, introduce the topic, and provide a sense of the essay’s focus and importance.
What not to write in an academic essay?
In an academic essay, avoid personal opinions, emotional language, unsubstantiated claims, informal language, and plagiarism. Focus on evidence-based arguments and adhere to academic standards and conventions.
How do you write an academic essay quickly?
To write an academic essay quickly, start with a clear thesis, outline main points, research efficiently, focus on key evidence, and minimize editing while maintaining proper citations and structure.
Text prompt
- Instructive
- Professional
Write an academic essay on the impact of technology in education
Explain in an academic essay how climate change affects global agriculture
Online Learning Resources
Academic skills office, academic skills.
Introduction
- Academic essays
- Thesis statement
- Question analysis
Sample essay
- Introduction paragraphs
- Beginner paragraphs
- Perfecting Paragraphs
- Academic paragraphs
- Conclusion paragraphs
- Academic writing style
- Using headings
- Using evidence
- Supporting evidence
- Citing authors
- Quoting authors
- Paraphrasing authors
- Summarising authors
- Tables & figures
- Synthesising evidence
- About academic reading
- Identify your purpose for reading
- Some reading techniques
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Sometimes a good example of what you are trying to achieve is worth a 1000 words of advice! When you are asked to write an essay, try to find some samples (models) of similar writing and learn to observe the craft of the writer. You can use the samples as a basis for working out how to write in the correct style.
About sample essays
Most books on essay writing will supply you with a number of model essays—collect some of these as they are great teachers! No matter what the topic is, you will see similarities between your writing tasks and these model essays. This is because many features of writing are common across subject areas. In some subjects (e.g. Law, Economics, Psychology and others), it is very useful to find subject -specific essay models as you can use these to work out the ‘peculiarities’ of writing for that subject area.
Read an academic essay
The following five paragraph essay has paragraph labels to show the parts of an academic essay. (Note: This essay does not contain authentic references and has been written specifically to use for this teaching task.)
Body paragraph 1
Body paragraph 2
Using assignment essays for assessment supports student learning better than the traditional examination system. It is considered that course-work assignment essays can lessen the extreme stress experienced by some students over ‘sudden-death’ end of semester examinations:
If we insist that all students write about everything they have learned in their study courses at the same time and in the same place (e.g. in examinations), we are not giving all of our students equal opportunities. Some students are not daunted by the exam experience while others suffer ‘exam nerves’ and perform at the lowest level of their capabilities. (Wonderland University, 2006, p. 4)
Additionally, Jones et al. (2004, pp. 36-37) propose that assignment essays can be used to assess student learning mid-course and so provide them with helpful feedback before they are subjected to the exam experience. Exams only provide students with a mark rather than specific feedback on their progress. Therefore, setting assignment essays for a substantial part of student assessment is a much fairer approach than one-off examination testing.
Body paragraph 3
Bloggs, J. (2003). Linking teaching, learning and succeeding in higher education . London: Bookworld.
Jinx, J.M. (2004). Student essay writing. Journal of Research in University Education, 9 (2), 114-125.
Jones, J., Smith, P.L., Brown, K., Zong J., Thompson, K., & Fung, P.A. (2004). Helpline: Essays and the university student . Tokyo: Courtyard Printers.
Sankey, J.M., & Liger, T.U. (2003). Learning to write essays [CD-ROM]. Sydney: Wonderland University.
Taylor, G. (1989). The student’s writing guide for the arts and social sciences . Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
Wonderland University. (2006). Attributes of a university graduate . doi:10.1098/063-112
Yang, S., & Baker, O.E. (2005). Essay writing and the tertiary student . Melbourne: Diamond Press.
Zapper, Y. (2006). Learning essay writing. In F.T. Fax & Y. Phoney (Eds.), Learning Experiences at University (pp. 55-70). Calcutta: Academic Scholar Press.
Analyse an academic essay
Most students really appreciate seeing a finished product. If you are to really benefit from model essays, you need to learn how to read the ‘techniques of the writer’. The following exercise helps you to get started with developing your ‘read the writer’ skills.
1. The introduction paragraph
2. Body paragraph 1
3. Body paragraph 2
4. Body paragraph 3
5. The conclusion paragraph
6. The reference list
- Write essays, reviews & reports
- Report broken link
- Found an error?
- Suggestions
Persuasive Essay Guide
Persuasive Essay Examples
Last updated on: Feb 9, 2023
Free Persuasive Essay Examples to Help you Get Started
By: Caleb S.
Reviewed By: Rylee W.
Published on: Jan 28, 2020
There are many different kinds of essays, and a persuasive essay is one of them. When writing one, you will have to maintain a certain kind of voice and style throughout the essay.
We know that it could be difficult for you to adapt to a certain tone and maintain it throughout the essay.
Therefore, we gathered some easy-to-understand and high-quality persuasive essay examples to help you get started. These examples will help you know how persuasive writing is different from other kinds of writing.
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Good Persuasive Essay Examples
There are a lot of benefits of reading great and well-written essays. However, for many students, writing this type of essay would be a novel task. They may not have written it before and need help.
Essays examples come in handy in such situations. This is especially helpful before you begin to write a persuasive essay, which extends to selecting a topic. A persuasive piece of writing is based on encouraging the readers to adopt and agree with your perspective.
These essay examples help the students in the following ways.
- They help the students choose from good persuasive essay topics .
- They help with proper essay formatting.
- They help the students know about the required essay sections.
- They tell the students about the kind of content that is suitable for that particular kind of essay.
- They help you make your essay an effective persuasive essay.
Reading great essay examples or samples helps you know about your weaknesses and the areas you need to focus on.
Here are some examples for your ease.
PERSUASIVE ESSAY EXAMPLE ABOUT COVID 19
PERSUASIVE ESSAY EXAMPLE ABOUT PRODUCT
PERSUASIVE ESSAY EXAMPLE 5 PARAGRAPH
How to Start a Persuasive Essay - Example
Starting your essay engaging will help to keep the readers accepting your point of view. This is important because if you go astray, the reader will lose interest and leave your essay in the middle. To avoid it, make sure that your introduction and essay start is strong and impactful.
Below is an example that gives you a better idea and makes your essay writing process easy.
HOW TO START A PERSUASIVE ESSAY EXAMPLE
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Persuasive Essay Examples for Elementary Students
At primary school, teachers assign essays to students as a way of improving their writing skills. However, the essays are very simple and not very complex, so the students easily write them.
Below are some good persuasive essay topics for primary school kids.
Persuasive Essay Examples for 3rd Grade
PERSUASIVE ESSAY EXAMPLES FOR 3RD GRADE
Persuasive Essay Examples for 4th Grade
PERSUASIVE ESSAY EXAMPLES FOR 4TH GRADE
Persuasive Essay Examples for 5th Grade
PERSUASIVE ESSAY EXAMPLES FOR 5TH GRADE
Persuasive Essay Examples for Middle School
Middle school kids are better acquainted with the essays. These kids learn many things, and by now, essays have become a common part of their homework.
If you are a middle school student and looking for some essay examples, then refer below.
Persuasive Essay Examples for 6th Grade
PERSUASIVE ESSAY EXAMPLES FOR 6TH GRADE
Persuasive Essay Examples for 7th Grade
PERSUASIVE ESSAY EXAMPLES FOR 7TH GRADE
Persuasive Essay Examples for 8th Grade
PERSUASIVE ESSAY EXAMPLES FOR 8TH GRADE
Persuasive Essay Examples for High School
High-school students are often struggling with writing a persuasive essay. However, if you get help from examples, you will easily write a good one.
Below are some persuasive essay examples to help high-school students.
PERSUASIVE ESSAY EXAMPLES FOR 9TH GRADE
PERSUASIVE ESSAY EXAMPLES FOR 10TH GRADE
Persuasive Essay Examples College
Are you looking for college persuasive essay examples? Therefore, for your help, we gathered a professionally written example that you could use for your ease.
PERSUASIVE ESSAY EXAMPLES FOR COLLEGE
Higher English Persuasive Essay Examples
Higher English is a standalone subject and a specialized study course. Here, the students study the language and literature together and learn how to hone their writing skills. For this, they also study different fiction and non-fiction texts and works.
Look at this example and know how a good persuasive essay looks like.
PERSUASIVE ESSAY EXAMPLES FOR HIGHER ENGLISH
How to End a Persuasive Essay - Examples
The ending is as important for your essay as the beginning. A strong conclusion will leave a lasting and strong mark on the reader. This is why you do not end your essay in haste and put ample thought into it.
Refer to the below example to know how to end your persuasive essay strongly.
HOW TO END A PERSUASIVE ESSAY - EXAMPLE
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Tips to Write a Great Persuasive Essay
Below are some helpful tips that will assist you in writing an engaging and great essay.
- Your essay topic should be about something that you are passionate about. It is important because you work better when you are working on something that you like.
- Know your audience fully before starting to write your essay. The essay content largely depends on your academic level. Teachers of higher grades expect the essays to be perfectly researched and written. Therefore, make it according to your teacherâs expectations.
- Begin the essay with a powerful hook sentence. This could be anything like a rhetorical question, a fact, or something interesting about the main essay topic.
- Add a brief and relevant thesis statement after the introduction and divide the body paragraphs according to the number of ideas.
- Do proper research about both sides of the argument. It will help you counter the opposite views and put your point of view more significantly. Do not assume that the audience knows about your stance; research and tell them a better story.
- Emphasize your viewpoint with strong and substantial evidence and details
- Keep the tone empathetic and make the reader feel that you can relate to their experiences and emotions. This is a powerful writing technique because people trust those who know their feelings.
- Divide the sections logically and maintain proper transition between the sections and the rest of the essay.
- Do not add any new ideas at the end of the essay or in conclusion. This section must stick to the main ideas only. Thus, explain one or two of the core ideas and your personal opinion here.
- Proofread your essay thoroughly and make sure that it is error-free and perfectly written.
- Do not mix the persuasive essay with an argumentative essay; they both are different.
Following all these tips, you will be able to write an engaging and perfect persuasive essay.
However, if you still need help. Consult 5StarEssays.com , a professional writing service that provides write my essay help to high-school, college, and university students. We have a dedicated team of professional writers, ensuring you get high-quality essays and papers within the given deadline.
So, contact us now and get your essay on time.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the 5 persuasive techniques.
Below are the five persuasive techniques.
- Think about tone.
- Know the reader’s purpose.
- Establish trust and credibility.
- Use rhetoric and repetition.
- Pay attention to language.
How do you start a persuasive essay?
Here are some steps that you should follow and start writing a persuasive essay.
- Brainstorm the topic ideas.
- Research on the topic.
- Create an outline.
- Develop the thesis statement.
- Choose a strong hook statement.
- Divide the information into body paragraphs.
Arts, Persuasive Essay
Caleb S. has been providing writing services for over five years and has a Masters degree from Oxford University. He is an expert in his craft and takes great pride in helping students achieve their academic goals. Caleb is a dedicated professional who always puts his clients first.
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- Persuasive Essay Guide - How to Write a Persuasive Essay
- Persuasive Essay Topics Ideas to Craft an A-Worthy Essay
- Persuasive Essay Outline - Detailed Guide with Examples
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How to structure your essay
Tricks for sentence writing.
- Common errors in structure and argument
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A well-structured essay is important as it enhances readability, ensures logical flow, and effectively communicates the main ideas. When your essay is clearly organised it helps the reader understand and retain the essay's key points.
A typical assignment has an introduction, a main body and a conclusion. The purpose of the introduction is to signpost everything that a reader can expect from the assignment. The main body is where this will be delivered, and the conclusion provides a summary of the main points, perhaps guiding us to further reading or investigation.
A high-quality essay is composed of high-quality sentences. This page focuses on rules for writing complete sentences that flow together to create a well written academic piece.
Common errors in structure
This guide highlights common errors in structure and argument, and gives you a short explanation of what you can do to avoid them.Â
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Writing Sample Instructions
Below you will find instructions on how to complete our writing sample. The writing sample is an opportunity for you to write an essay that will be assessed by one of our English professors so that we can place you in the appropriate English course based on your current skills. This assessment is only required to be completed once. You will have 2 hours to complete your work once you log in to CANVAS.
Create your MyCampus Account
If you don’t already have a MyCampus account, Create your MyCampus Account .
- Go to MyCampus.
- Under For New Students: Set up Your MyCampus Login Credentials, click Student Account Set up.
- Follow the instructions provided. Make sure to save your username/email (i.e., [email protected] ) and password in a safe location.
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- After 30 minutes, log in. You will be asked to set up Multi-Factor Authentication (MFA) to protect your student data using the App to verify your identity.
Log into Canvas
- Select the following link to access the writing sample course.
- Log in using the same Username and Password as your MyCampus login information.
Complete the Writing Sample
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- Click Go to The Course.
- Select at the top of the page Start Here.
- Once you have read the directions, click the Next button on the lower right-hand corner of the box to go to the next page.
- On the Writing Sample Assignment and Submission Area, read the instructions carefully.
- Next, click Start Assignment and begin the writing sample using Microsoft Word. If you don’t have Microsoft Word, use the text box provided. Be sure to format paragraphs accordingly.
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How to Write a Winning Common App Essay for 2024-2025 ( +Examples)
Overwhelmed by the pressure to really make your Common App Essay for a Pre-Med Application stand out? You’re not alone!
In fact, for many aspirant doctors, the Common App Essay may stand between them and the gates to medical school. But what if we told you it could be your ticket to proving your unique strengths and passion for medicine?Â
In this all-in guide, you’ll learn all the right strategies to write a Common App Essay that gets noticed for all the right reasons, so let’s get into it. We will talk about digging deeper into what you have, showing growth, and showing the skills and qualities that turn you into a great candidate. So, let’s attack this essay!
Schedule a Free Consultation with Jeck Westin Now!
What is the Common Application?
The Common Application, or the Common App , is a full-blown college application system that allows thousands of students to apply to thousands of universities and colleges nationwide all at once with one application. This program is usedin use by over 900 different organizations around the world, making it a very significant part of the college admission process.
Most importantly, the common application is crucial in the admission process for students bound for college because it hastens the whole application process, saving a lot of time and energy that students can use for other purposes. More importantly, one gets a chance to sell their skills, experiences, and dreams to one college and quite a number.
Why You Want to Write an Application Essay for the Common App?
The Common App Essay is one of the most vital sections of an application. It provides an applicant with a platform to sell their personality, character, and passion to the admissions committee. Itâs a place where you can show who you are beyond grades and test scores.It’s a place where you can make the grades and test scores disappear and really show who you are.
Competitive programs, such as pre-med, require an essay like the Common App because most applicants share the same academic performance level. For competitive programs, an essay such as the Common App is highly essential since most applicants share the same academic performance. In a well-crafted essay, you make a difference between your application and others, showing your commitment to medicine.
The Common App Essay: Tips
It has to have a compelling storyline regarding personal growth and where you are headed. Here are some tips for a college application essay:
- Consider the prompt: Make sure you understand your assignment before you begin writing.
- Be authenticreal: Write about what you honestly care about.
- Show, donât tell: Use specific examples and anecdotes in this essay to show rather than tell.
- Proofread: Ensure your essay is free from all grammar and typographical errors.
Common Application Essay Prompts 2024â2025
The Common App has, meanwhile, confirmed that their main essay prompts for the 2024-2025 application cycle will not change from this year. The prompts are:
- Reflecting on something that someone has done for you that made you happy or thankful
- Discussing an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth
- Describing a topic, idea, or concept that captivates you
- Sharing an essay on any topic of your choice
Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
- The lessons we take from obstacles can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
- Think of a time when you questioned a belief or idea. What was the urge to think? What was the outcome?
- Think about something that has been done in your favor and has made you feel happy or grateful unexpectedly. How does this, or has this, gratitude affected or driven you?
- Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
- Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?
- Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.
See Also: Complete MCAT Course by Jack Westin (+Free Trial)
Pre-write your Common App Essay
Before you write a Common App Essay, you get to pre-write. This is when you brainstorm on topics, jot down ideas obtained from free-writing, and then set up a timeline for the actual writing of the essay.
Ways to Come Up with Compelling
Mind Mapping : This is a visual technique that helps in structuring information, hence helping you in analysis, understanding, synthesis, remembering, and generating new ideas with your information. In every great idea, its power is manifest in its simplicity.Â
Information is structured in a mind map according to how your brain actually works, as opposed to information structured likein a manner similar to traditional note-taking or linear text.Â
To prepare a mind map, start with the main idea or topic and locate it at the center. From this concept, draw various lines branching out and write down all related sub-topics or ideas on these branches. From each sub-topic, you can branch out and record more detailed items. This method can, therefore, be effective in realizing the hierarchy and inter-relations of different ideas.
Listing : This is an easy method of brainstorming that requires you to list ideas spontaneously. Remember, do not assess or check the ideas you are coming up with. Just allow your mind to wander freely and take note of the ideas. In this stage, the quantity of the ideas ought to matter rather than the quality.Â
You would be surprised at what you come up with on your list without editing your thoughts. After you feel you have a sufficient list, you can move on to check which ideas you might need to consider.
Role-Playing: It involves thinking from varied personalities or roles. How would you address the topic if you were a teacher, a scientist, or a historianâor even as simple as a child? That helps you put your topic through different perspectives and can lead to formulating many ideas. It’s an excellent way to stretch your mind and turn it in different directions from what you usually do, and that just might be the way to come up with some really original, insightful ideas.
Freewriting : This is the same as free association but is the act of writing continuously for a long timeâwithout stopping to self-edit for grammar, punctuation, or spelling. Its purpose is to allow your mind to continue to flow with ideas and make free explorations without judgment. This might help you break into potential topics and find new and surprising ways to write your essay.
Schedule to Write Your Common App Essay
Brainstorming and topic selection (2-4 weeks):.
- Identify your interests and what you are passionate about.
- Review literature on a variety of subjects that correspond to your interests.
- NarrowPerhaps you will have to bring your choices down to two or three tentative topics.
- Analyze each topic under your knowledge, findings from the college or scholarship site, and research.
- Select the topic that feels most relevant to you and allows you to match your aspirations to the application.
Outline and First Draft (1 week):
- Thoughtfully outline your essay: include an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
- Make sure that your ideas are logically organized and that your structure is clear.
- Begin the materialization of your first draft from the outline.
- Put your thoughts on paper, and at this stage, it does not matter; this is not a grammar exercise.
Revision (2-3 weeks):
- Take a break from the essay for a while so you can view it with a fresh pair of eyes.
- Obtain approval of the work by the source you depend onâsuch as teachers, mentors, or peers.
- Please apply good suggestions from the feedback that is being provided.
- Now rewrite your essay in clear organizational cohesion and coherence.
- Elaborate on your argument, provide more concrete evidence, and link paragraphs so that there is an argument throughout.
Final Edits (3-5 days):
- Make sure to proofread your essay carefully; it is error-free regarding grammar, typography, and format.
- Pay attention to an entire essay structure: introduction, body paragraphs, conclusion.
- Verify that the paper complies with the word counts, structure, and use of referencing outlined for the target program.
- Make final adjustments for quality and polish in the essay’s readability and the overall effect.
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See Also: Medical School Application Timeline for 2024-2025
How to Choose Your Common App Essay Topic?
In your Common App Essay, choosing the right topic is one of the most important steps in the whole process of applying. The topic you pick must reflect your own experiences and values, but at the same time, it must be in harmony with your pre-med aspirations and fit in with the program.
Always remember that your Common App essay has to be outstanding to be you. Here are a few tips to help you:
Align with Your Aspirations
- Pick the area within medicine in which you are passionate. This can be a personal experience that really drove you to want to become a doctor, something you overcame that made you know you wanted to be a doctor, or a description of what being a doctor means to you.
- Describe the personal experiences that led to your career aspirations and explain why you see medicine as a fit for you.
Show Off Your Fit
- This essay should show the reader why you would be a great candidate to be in a pre-med program.
- Highlight your relevant coursework, research, clinical experiences, and extracurricular activities that characterize your commitment to medicine.
- Mention how your skills, qualities, and values relate to the program’s mission and goals.
- Authenticity sings to the admissions officers. Pick a topic that really means something to you, and passion will reverberate in your writing.
- Share from your personal experience and perspective only. Avoid clichés or generics.
Reflect Personal Development
- Admissions officers value growth in a personal sense. Select a topic where you can ideally show growth and how something changes for you over time.
- Describe a challenge or obstacle you overcame, what it taught you, and how it made you resilient.
- Highlight how your experiences have contributed in general to the growth of your personality and career.
Show Empathy and Service
- Medicine is a service profession, and it is very important to show your humane nature and have an urge to help other people.
- Share an example of what you have done to make a difference in someone’s life. This could be being a volunteer, community service, or mentorship. Explain how these experiences have built your compassion and desire to serve others.
Be Concise and Well-Organized
- Write an organized and concise essay. You shouldn’t have much more than 650 words, and your ideas should be put forth logically.
- Use simple, clear, and to-the-point language free from unnecessary jargon or technical terms.
Examples of Strong Common App Essay Topics
Here are some examples of strong Common App Essay topics from past pre-med applicants:
- One applicant wrote about their experience volunteering at a local hospital, where they developed a deep understanding of the healthcare system and the role of doctors in patient care.
- Another applicant shared their journey of overcoming a serious illness. This experience deepened their appreciation for medicine and solidified their decision to pursue a career as a doctor.
- An applicant described a pivotal moment when they had to make a difficult ethical decision. This experience highlighted their moral compass, a crucial quality for anyone entering the medical field.
See Also: How to Write a Perfect Medical School Personal Statement
How to Write Your Common App Essay
The Common App Essay is a crucial component of your college application, and choosing the right type of essay is essential to convey your story and qualifications effectively. Here are the four main types of essays you could consider:
- Definition: A narrative essay tells a story about a personal experience.
- Suitability: It’s an excellent choice if you want to share a significant event or moment that has shaped who you are.
- A story about overcoming a challenge that taught you resilience.
- A narrative about a memorable trip that broadened your perspectives.
- An account of a time when you realized your passion for a particular subject or activity.
- Definition: A descriptive essay focuses on describing a person, place, event, or object in detail.
- Suitability: It’s suitable if you want to paint a vivid picture of something meaningful to you.
- A detailed description of your favorite childhood spot.
- A vivid portrayal of a person who has significantly influenced your life.
- A sensory-rich description of a significant event you witnessed.
- Definition: An expository essay provides an explanation or analysis of a topic.
- Suitability: It’s a good choice if you want to delve into a complex issue or idea.
- An explanation of a scientific concept you find fascinating.
- An analysis of a historical event and its implications.
- An exploration of a social issue you’re passionate about.
- Definition: An argumentative essay presents a well-reasoned argument about a specific topic.
- Suitability: It’s appropriate if you want to express a strong opinion or viewpoint.
- An argument for or against a particular policy or social change.
- A persuasive essay advocating for a specific cause you believe in.
- A critical analysis of a work of literature or art.
When choosing a type of essay, consider the essay prompt, your personal experiences, and the message you want to convey. Each type of essay offers unique strengths and allows you to showcase different aspects of your personality, experiences, and writing skills.
Creating an Outline for an Essay
Outlining is a fundamental skill in essay writing that helps organize your thoughts, ensure a coherent structure, and create a persuasive argument. Here’s how you can use a simple outline as the backbone for your essay:
Introduction
- Hook: Start with an engaginginteresting hook to capture the reader’s interest and curiosity. Consider using a surprising fact, a thought-provoking question, or an engaging scenario.
- Overview: Provide a brief overview of the topic and its importance. This sets the context and relevance of your essay.
- Thesis Statement: Conclude with a strong thesis statement that clearly states your main argument or claim. The thesis is the backbone of the essay, so it should be specific, arguable, and relevant to the topic.
Body Paragraphs
- Topic Sentence: Dedicate each body paragraph to a specific aspect or supporting point that reinforces your thesis. Start with a topic sentence that introduces the paragraph’s main idea and relates it to your thesis.
- Development: Develop your ideas by providing evidence, examples, or logical reasoning to support your claims. Consider using a mix of sources, such as research, personal experiences, and expert opinions, to strengthen your argument.
- Conclusion Sentence: End each paragraph with a concluding sentence summarizing the main point and smoothly transitioning to the next paragraph.
- Summary: Summarize the key points discussed in the body paragraphs, reminding the reader of your main arguments.
- Restate Thesis: Restate your thesis freshly and concisely, reinforcing your central claim.
- Closing Thought: Conclude with a closing thought that leaves a lasting impression on the reader. This could be a call to action, a thought-provoking question, or a personal reflection related to your introduction.
Common App Essay Mistakes to Avoid
In the realm of college applications, the personal essay holds significant importance. It allows admission officers to glimpse an applicant’s character, values, and potential. However, even the most promising candidates can stumble upon common pitfalls that undermine their essays’ effectiveness. Here are some prevalent app essay mistakes to steer clear of:
- Off-Topic Responses: The essay prompt is your guiding star. Straying from it can lead to a disjointed and confusing essay that fails to showcase your strengths. Before you begin writing, thoroughly understand the prompt and ensure that you respond to it directlyyour response directly addresses its requirements.
- Poor Grammar and Spelling: Attention to detail matters. Grammatical errors and misspellings can detract from your message and create a negative impression. Proofread your essay meticulously, checking for any punctuation, grammar, or spelling mistakes. Consider enlisting the help of a trusted teacher, friend, or family member for an additional layer of review.
- Lack of Focus: A well-structured essay has a clear focus and flows logically from one point to the next. Avoid rambling or including irrelevant information. Instead, select a specific theme or experience you can explore in-depth, providing rich details and insights.
- Overused Phrases and Clichés: Clichéd expressions may sound familiar, but they often appear unoriginal and generic. Strive for authenticity and individuality in your writing. Draw upon your unique experiences and perspectives to create a compelling and memorable essay.
- Lack of Personal Connection: Admission officers want to get to know you, the real you. Avoid presenting a polished but impersonal essay. Share your vulnerabilities, triumphs, and growth. Be genuine and honest in your writing, allowing your authentic voice to shine.
- Unclear Structure : A well-organized essay guides the reader through your thoughts and ideas. Use clear transitions to connect paragraphs and ensure a smooth flow from one point to the next. A strong introduction and conclusion are also essential for framing your essay and leaving a lasting impression.
- Exaggeration or Fabrication: While it’s important to highlight your strengths, be mindful of the line between embellishment and outright fabrication. Admission officers can easily detect insincerity, and exaggeration can damage your credibility.
- Ignoring the Word Limit: Word limits allow admission officers to glimpse, overwhelm the reader, and suggest an inability to follow instructions. Be selective in your content and focus on conveying your message concisely and effectively.
- Lack of Editing and Proofreading: A polished essay results from meticulous editing and proofreading. Take time to revise and refine your work, checking for any errors or areas that could be improved. Consider reading your essay aloud to catch any awkward phrasing or grammatical issues.
- Rushing the Process: Writing a compelling college essay takes time and effort. Avoid the temptation to rush through it. Give yourself ample time to brainstorm, write, and revise your essay. The quality of your final product will reflect the care and attention you put into the process.
Se Is A Medical School Personal Sta mistakestement?
Common App Essay Examples
From a young age, I was always fascinated by the intricacies of the human body. The idea that such a complex system could function seamlessly fascinated me. However, it wasn’t until my sophomore year of high school, when I took an advanced biology course , that I realized my passion for medicine.
This course introduced meIn this course, I was introduced to the world of human anatomy and physiology. I was captivated by how cells worked together to maintain homeostasis, how the nervous system communicated with the rest of the body, and how the immune system fought off pathogens. I spent countless hours studying, not out of obligation but out of genuine interest . I was not just learning but discovering a world I wanted to explore further.
This interest led me to volunteer at our local hospital, where I saw the practical application of the concepts I had learned in class. I observed doctors diagnosing diseases, performing surgeries, and, most importantly, interacting with patients. I saw their impact on people’s lives, not just through their medical expertise but also through their compassion and empathy . This experience solidified my decision to pursue a career in medicine.
However, I also realized that medicine is not just about understanding the human body or treating diseases. It’s about connecting with patients, understanding their experiences , and helping them navigate through their health challenges. It’s about being a source of comfort in times of distress and a beacon of hope in times of despair.
As I embark on my journey to become a doctor, I am unnot deterred by the long years of study or the challenges that lie ahead. Instead, I am excited about the opportunity to make a difference in people’s lives . I am eager to learn not just about the human body but also about the human spirit. I am ready to embrace the challenges, celebrate the victories, and, most importantly, provide care and comfort to those in need.
In conclusion, my passion for medicine stems from my fascination with the human body , my desire to make a difference, and my experiences in the hospital. I am confident that these experiences and my unwavering commitment will guide me through my journey in medical school and beyond. I look forward to the opportunity to contribute to and learn from the medical community.
Growing up in a small town, I often accompanied my mother, a community nurse, on her visits to patients. I was fascinated by her ability to alleviate people’s suffering and comfortbring comfort to them . This early exposure to the impact of healthcare sparked my interest in medicine.
One particular incident stands out in my memory. We visited an elderly man living alone who had been diagnosed with diabetes. He was struggling to manage his condition due to a lack of understanding about the disease. I watched as my mother patiently explained the importance of diet control and regular medication. Over time, his health improved significantly. This experience taught me that medicine is not just about treating symptoms; it’s about educating and empowering patients to take care of their own health.
In high school, I excelled in science, particularly biology. AsThe more I learned about the human body and its intricate mechanisms, my interest in medicine grew. I started volunteering at the local hospital, where I had the opportunity to observe various medical procedures and interact with patients. These experiences further solidified my decision to pursue a career in medicine.
However, I also realized that being a good doctor is not just about having excellent medical knowledge. It’s about being empathetic and understanding towards your patients. It’s about being able to communicate effectively and making patients feel comfortable. It’s about being patient and resilient in the face of challenges.
As I embark on my journey to medical school, I am fully aware of the long and challenging path ahead. But I am also excited about the opportunity to learn and grow, both professionally and personally. I am eager to acquire the skills and knowledge necessary to make a difference in people’s lives , just like my mother did.
So, my passion for medicine is driven by a combination of my love for science, my firsthand experiences with healthcare, and my desire to make a positive impact on people’s lives drives my passion for medicine. I am confident that these motivations will guide me through my journey in medical school and beyond.
Ever since I was a child, I was always intrigued by the puzzles and mysteries of the world. But the most fascinating puzzle to me was the human body. The complexity and precision with which it operates sparked my interest in biology and, ultimately, medicine.
During my junior year of high school, I had the opportunity to take an advanced placement biology course. This course allowed me to delve deeper into the intricacies of the human body. I was particularly captivated by the immune system , a complex network that silently works to protect us from countless pathogens every day.
This fascination led me to volunteer at a local clinic, where I saw the impact of medicine on people’s lives. I witnessed doctors diagnosing and treating a variety of illnesses, from common colds to chronic diseases. I saw the relief on patients’ faces when they received treatment and their gratitude towards their doctors. These experiences solidified my decision to pursue a career in medicine.
However, I also realized that being a doctor is not just about diagnosing and treating diseases. It’s about listening to patients, understanding their concerns, and reassuring them. It’s about being a source of hope in their time of need.
As I prepare to embark on my journey to medical school, I am excited about the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead. I am eager to learn more about the human body, to hone my skills, and to serve my community. I am ready to dedicate myself to a career in medicine and, to solve the puzzle that has fascinated me since childhood.
In conclusion, my passion for medicine stems from my fascination with the human body, my experiences at the clinic, and my desire to help others. These motivations will guide me through my journey in medical school and beyond.
Throughout my life, I have always been drawn to the mysteries of science, but I was most captivated by the mystery of the human body.. But it was the mystery of the human body, the most complex system of all, that captivated me the most. This fascination, coupled with my desire to serve others , led me to pursue a medical career.
In my junior year of high school, I volunteered at a local health clinic . There, I saw firsthand the profound impact that healthcare professionals could have on individuals and communities. I was particularly moved by a doctor who went above and beyond to provide compassionate care to underserved patients. His dedication to his patients and his commitment to equity in healthcare deeply inspired me.
This experience motivated me to delve deeper into the field of medicine. I took advanced courses in biology and chemistry, seeking to understand the scientific principles underlying human health and disease. I also conducted a research project on the effects of diet and exercise on heart health, which further solidified my interest in medicine.
However, I also realized that being a doctor is not just about deeply understanding science. It’s about connecting with patients on a human level , understanding their experiences and concerns, and helping them navigate their health journeys. It’s about being a source of comfort and hope in their time of need.
As I prepare to embark on my journey to medical school, I am excited about the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead. I am eager to learn, to grow, and to contribute to the field of medicine . I am ready to dedicate myself to a career combining my love for science and my passion for helping others.
In conclusion, my journey to medicine has been shaped by my fascination with the human body, my experiences in healthcare, and my desire to make a positive impact on people’s lives. I am confident that these experiences and motivations will guide me through my journey in medical school and beyond.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: what is the word length for the common app essay.
The Common App Essay should be within the 250-650 words rangeâso it’s essential to stick with this limit. But the truth is that quality is way more important than quantity: make every word count!
Q: Can I write on a general topic?
Yes, you can. It’s really not about the subject itself but about how you write about it. Even a very simple topic can stand out either by the way it is viewed or by the reflections on insights.
Q: Should I write about my achievements?
While it’s okay to boast a little and enumerate your achievements, your priority is to describeabove all, it comes down to revealing your experiences and growth in the Common App Essay. It is the one chance you get to show who you are beyond the grades and scores.
Q: How should I proofread the essay for the Common App?
Proofreading goes hand in hand with the writing process. Here are some tips:
- Take a Break: Finish writing, sleep, and then proofread. You’re more likely to catch errors with fresh eyes.
- Read Aloud: Print your essay and read it aloud; you will pick up all the awkward sentences and grammar errors.
- Check for Clarity: This essay needs to be crystal clear and comprehensible. Do not take it for granted that the reader will know what you mean.
- Let Someone Else Read It: Have someone else read your essay and give you feedback and suggestions.
Q: How can I get help with my Common App Essay?
If you realize that you are struggling with your essay, there is no harm in seeking help:
- School Counselors or Teachers: They can offer advice and review support for your essay.
- Writing Centers: Most schools have writing centers with free tutoring services.
- Online Resources: Numerous online resources and services can offer essay advice and editing services.
This guide provided you with the essential techniques to write a stand-out Common App Essay, especially if you are applying as a pre-med student.
- Unearthing Your Story: Delve into those experiences and unearth a very interesting one that shows your passion for medicine. Highlight a key moment, volunteer experience, or significant instance where you just knew this was the road to take.
- Demonstrating Growth: Show how your experiences have shaped youâhighlight how they have deepened your commitment to becoming a physician.
- Show Your Skills: Don’t just say it. Elaborate on your skills and support your statements with concrete examples. Weave in relevant details of coursework, research projects, and clinical experiences and show dedication to the field.
- Show Quality: Speak beyond credentials. Show that you are caring, compassionate, and resilient through your experiences.
Do You Need the Help of a Specialist?
Jack Westin offers professional MCAT tutoring and guidance in crafting the best possible application. Our tutors are all experts who can provide professional input for writing so you can come up with a more refined, powerful essay that indicates your potential as a future doctor.
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How to Structure an Essay | Tips & Templates
Published on September 18, 2020 by Jack Caulfield . Revised on July 23, 2023.
The basic structure of an essay always consists of an introduction , a body , and a conclusion . But for many students, the most difficult part of structuring an essay is deciding how to organize information within the body.
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Table of contents
The basics of essay structure, chronological structure, compare-and-contrast structure, problems-methods-solutions structure, signposting to clarify your structure, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about essay structure.
There are two main things to keep in mind when working on your essay structure: making sure to include the right information in each part, and deciding how youâll organize the information within the body.
Parts of an essay
The three parts that make up all essays are described in the table below.
Part | Content |
---|---|
Order of information
Youâll also have to consider how to present information within the body. There are a few general principles that can guide you here.
The first is that your argument should move from the simplest claim to the most complex . The body of a good argumentative essay often begins with simple and widely accepted claims, and then moves towards more complex and contentious ones.
For example, you might begin by describing a generally accepted philosophical concept, and then apply it to a new topic. The grounding in the general concept will allow the reader to understand your unique application of it.
The second principle is that background information should appear towards the beginning of your essay . General background is presented in the introduction. If you have additional background to present, this information will usually come at the start of the body.
The third principle is that everything in your essay should be relevant to the thesis . Ask yourself whether each piece of information advances your argument or provides necessary background. And make sure that the text clearly expresses each piece of informationâs relevance.
The sections below present several organizational templates for essays: the chronological approach, the compare-and-contrast approach, and the problems-methods-solutions approach.
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The chronological approach (sometimes called the cause-and-effect approach) is probably the simplest way to structure an essay. It just means discussing events in the order in which they occurred, discussing how they are related (i.e. the cause and effect involved) as you go.
A chronological approach can be useful when your essay is about a series of events. Donât rule out other approaches, thoughâeven when the chronological approach is the obvious one, you might be able to bring out more with a different structure.
Explore the tabs below to see a general template and a specific example outline from an essay on the invention of the printing press.
- Thesis statement
- Discussion of event/period
- Consequences
- Importance of topic
- Strong closing statement
- Claim that the printing press marks the end of the Middle Ages
- Background on the low levels of literacy before the printing press
- Thesis statement: The invention of the printing press increased circulation of information in Europe, paving the way for the Reformation
- High levels of illiteracy in medieval Europe
- Literacy and thus knowledge and education were mainly the domain of religious and political elites
- Consequence: this discouraged political and religious change
- Invention of the printing press in 1440 by Johannes Gutenberg
- Implications of the new technology for book production
- Consequence: Rapid spread of the technology and the printing of the Gutenberg Bible
- Trend for translating the Bible into vernacular languages during the years following the printing pressâs invention
- Lutherâs own translation of the Bible during the Reformation
- Consequence: The large-scale effects the Reformation would have on religion and politics
- Summarize the history described
- Stress the significance of the printing press to the events of this period
Essays with two or more main subjects are often structured around comparing and contrasting . For example, a literary analysis essay might compare two different texts, and an argumentative essay might compare the strengths of different arguments.
There are two main ways of structuring a compare-and-contrast essay: the alternating method, and the block method.
Alternating
In the alternating method, each paragraph compares your subjects in terms of a specific point of comparison. These points of comparison are therefore what defines each paragraph.
The tabs below show a general template for this structure, and a specific example for an essay comparing and contrasting distance learning with traditional classroom learning.
- Synthesis of arguments
- Topical relevance of distance learning in lockdown
- Increasing prevalence of distance learning over the last decade
- Thesis statement: While distance learning has certain advantages, it introduces multiple new accessibility issues that must be addressed for it to be as effective as classroom learning
- Classroom learning: Ease of identifying difficulties and privately discussing them
- Distance learning: Difficulty of noticing and unobtrusively helping
- Classroom learning: Difficulties accessing the classroom (disability, distance travelled from home)
- Distance learning: Difficulties with online work (lack of tech literacy, unreliable connection, distractions)
- Classroom learning: Tends to encourage personal engagement among students and with teacher, more relaxed social environment
- Distance learning: Greater ability to reach out to teacher privately
- Sum up, emphasize that distance learning introduces more difficulties than it solves
- Stress the importance of addressing issues with distance learning as it becomes increasingly common
- Distance learning may prove to be the future, but it still has a long way to go
In the block method, each subject is covered all in one go, potentially across multiple paragraphs. For example, you might write two paragraphs about your first subject and then two about your second subject, making comparisons back to the first.
The tabs again show a general template, followed by another essay on distance learning, this time with the body structured in blocks.
- Point 1 (compare)
- Point 2 (compare)
- Point 3 (compare)
- Point 4 (compare)
- Advantages: Flexibility, accessibility
- Disadvantages: Discomfort, challenges for those with poor internet or tech literacy
- Advantages: Potential for teacher to discuss issues with a student in a separate private call
- Disadvantages: Difficulty of identifying struggling students and aiding them unobtrusively, lack of personal interaction among students
- Advantages: More accessible to those with low tech literacy, equality of all sharing one learning environment
- Disadvantages: Students must live close enough to attend, commutes may vary, classrooms not always accessible for disabled students
- Advantages: Ease of picking up on signs a student is struggling, more personal interaction among students
- Disadvantages: May be harder for students to approach teacher privately in person to raise issues
An essay that concerns a specific problem (practical or theoretical) may be structured according to the problems-methods-solutions approach.
This is just what it sounds like: You define the problem, characterize a method or theory that may solve it, and finally analyze the problem, using this method or theory to arrive at a solution. If the problem is theoretical, the solution might be the analysis you present in the essay itself; otherwise, you might just present a proposed solution.
The tabs below show a template for this structure and an example outline for an essay about the problem of fake news.
- Introduce the problem
- Provide background
- Describe your approach to solving it
- Define the problem precisely
- Describe why itâs important
- Indicate previous approaches to the problem
- Present your new approach, and why itâs better
- Apply the new method or theory to the problem
- Indicate the solution you arrive at by doing so
- Assess (potential or actual) effectiveness of solution
- Describe the implications
- Problem: The growth of âfake newsâ online
- Prevalence of polarized/conspiracy-focused news sources online
- Thesis statement: Rather than attempting to stamp out online fake news through social media moderation, an effective approach to combating it must work with educational institutions to improve media literacy
- Definition: Deliberate disinformation designed to spread virally online
- Popularization of the term, growth of the phenomenon
- Previous approaches: Labeling and moderation on social media platforms
- Critique: This approach feeds conspiracies; the real solution is to improve media literacy so users can better identify fake news
- Greater emphasis should be placed on media literacy education in schools
- This allows people to assess news sources independently, rather than just being told which ones to trust
- This is a long-term solution but could be highly effective
- It would require significant organization and investment, but would equip people to judge news sources more effectively
- Rather than trying to contain the spread of fake news, we must teach the next generation not to fall for it
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Signposting means guiding the reader through your essay with language that describes or hints at the structure of what follows. It can help you clarify your structure for yourself as well as helping your reader follow your ideas.
The essay overview
In longer essays whose body is split into multiple named sections, the introduction often ends with an overview of the rest of the essay. This gives a brief description of the main idea or argument of each section.
The overview allows the reader to immediately understand what will be covered in the essay and in what order. Though it describes what comes later in the text, it is generally written in the present tense . The following example is from a literary analysis essay on Mary Shelleyâs Frankenstein .
Transitions
Transition words and phrases are used throughout all good essays to link together different ideas. They help guide the reader through your text, and an essay that uses them effectively will be much easier to follow.
Various different relationships can be expressed by transition words, as shown in this example.
Because Hitler failed to respond to the British ultimatum, France and the UK declared war on Germany. Although it was an outcome the Allies had hoped to avoid, they were prepared to back up their ultimatum in order to combat the existential threat posed by the Third Reich.
Transition sentences may be included to transition between different paragraphs or sections of an essay. A good transition sentence moves the reader on to the next topic while indicating how it relates to the previous one.
⊠Distance learning, then, seems to improve accessibility in some ways while representing a step backwards in others.
However , considering the issue of personal interaction among students presents a different picture.
If you want to know more about AI tools , college essays , or fallacies make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples or go directly to our tools!
- Ad hominem fallacy
- Post hoc fallacy
- Appeal to authority fallacy
- False cause fallacy
- Sunk cost fallacy
College essays
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- Write a College Essay
- Write a Diversity Essay
- College Essay Format & Structure
- Comparing and Contrasting in an Essay
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The structure of an essay is divided into an introduction that presents your topic and thesis statement , a body containing your in-depth analysis and arguments, and a conclusion wrapping up your ideas.
The structure of the body is flexible, but you should always spend some time thinking about how you can organize your essay to best serve your ideas.
An essay isnât just a loose collection of facts and ideas. Instead, it should be centered on an overarching argument (summarized in your thesis statement ) that every part of the essay relates to.
The way you structure your essay is crucial to presenting your argument coherently. A well-structured essay helps your reader follow the logic of your ideas and understand your overall point.
Comparisons in essays are generally structured in one of two ways:
- The alternating method, where you compare your subjects side by side according to one specific aspect at a time.
- The block method, where you cover each subject separately in its entirety.
Itâs also possible to combine both methods, for example by writing a full paragraph on each of your topics and then a final paragraph contrasting the two according to a specific metric.
You should try to follow your outline as you write your essay . However, if your ideas change or it becomes clear that your structure could be better, itâs okay to depart from your essay outline . Just make sure you know why youâre doing so.
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Criminal Justice Personal Statements: a Comprehensive Analysis
How it works
- 1 Introduction
- 2 Personal Motivation for Criminal Justice
- 3 Conclusion
Introduction
Writing a good personal statement is super important if you wanna get into criminal justice. These statements give you a chance to show why youâre interested, what youâve been through, and what you wanna do in the future. Itâs a way to tell your story that goes beyond just your test scores and grades. This essay looks at what makes a criminal justice personal statement stand out. By checking out some examples, weâll see what themes and tricks make your application better.
Knowing these can help future students and also show how many different ways people get into criminal justice.
Personal Motivation for Criminal Justice
A big part of a great criminal justice personal statement is explaining why you wanna do it. Lots of people talk about personal stuff that got them interested. For example, someone might say, âSeeing the problems in my neighborhood made me wanna fight for justice and fairness.â Stories like this are strong because they show something real about you that test scores canât. They show youâve got a real reason for wanting this career.
Another thing that makes a personal statement good is talking about experiences that show youâre ready for a career in criminal justice. This could be stuff like school achievements, volunteer work, or jobs youâve had. For example, you might say, âDuring my time at the public defenderâs office, I learned a lot about preparing cases and helping clients. This made me sure I wanna work in criminal defense.â Sharing these experiences shows youâve been actively getting the skills you need.
Itâs also super important to link what youâve done in the past with what you wanna do in the future. You need to explain how your background led to your career goals and how the program youâre applying to will help you get there. A good example might be, âMy research on restorative justice in college inspired me to dig deeper into this at grad school, where I want to help develop new policies.â This shows youâve got a clear plan and know how the program fits into it.
Personal statements should also show that you know a lot about criminal justice and care about its principles. This means being aware of current issues and problems in the field. You might talk about your views on things like criminal justice reform, how money affects crime, or the ethics of law enforcement. For instance, you could say, âWorking with incarcerated youth opened my eyes to the problems in our juvenile justice system, and now I want to push for policy changes to fix these issues.â This shows youâre deeply involved in the field and committed to making a difference.
Lastly, a good personal statement needs to be well-written, with no grammar mistakes, and should follow academic writing rules. A polished statement shows you pay attention to detail and can communicate wellâboth are super important in criminal justice. Aim to be clear, logical, and concise. Using vivid examples and keeping a good flow can make your statement more engaging and impactful.
In the end, criminal justice personal statements are a crucial part of the application process. They give a glimpse into your motivations, experiences, and goals. By clearly stating why youâre motivated, highlighting relevant experiences, connecting your past to your future, showing your knowledge of the field, and writing well, you can create a strong statement that stands out to admissions committees. These statements not only boost your application but also add to the conversation about the many paths into criminal justice. So, theyâre more than just formalities; theyâre powerful tools that can shape the future of the field by bringing in passionate, knowledgeable, and dedicated people.
Cite this page
Criminal Justice Personal Statements: A Comprehensive Analysis. (2024, Sep 17). Retrieved from https://papersowl.com/examples/criminal-justice-personal-statements-a-comprehensive-analysis/
"Criminal Justice Personal Statements: A Comprehensive Analysis." PapersOwl.com , 17 Sep 2024, https://papersowl.com/examples/criminal-justice-personal-statements-a-comprehensive-analysis/
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PapersOwl.com. (2024). Criminal Justice Personal Statements: A Comprehensive Analysis . [Online]. Available at: https://papersowl.com/examples/criminal-justice-personal-statements-a-comprehensive-analysis/ [Accessed: 19-Sep-2024]
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The "Porcelain God" College Essay Example. Essay written for the "topic of your choice" prompt for the 2012 Common Application college application essays. Bowing down to the porcelain god, I emptied the contents of my stomach. Foaming at the mouth, I was ready to pass out.
This essay begins by discussing the situation of blind people in nineteenth-century Europe. It then describes the invention of Braille and the gradual process of its acceptance within blind education. Subsequently, it explores the wide-ranging effects of this invention on blind people's social and cultural lives.
Best college essay examples: these examples are the creme-de-la-creme. They're written by a small percentage of students who are exceptional writers. Good college essay examples: these examples are solid. They do exactly what they need to do on the admissions committee floor. You're aiming to write a good college essay.
A college essay is a piece of writing that responds to a given prompt, either on the Common App lication, Coalition Application, or on a school's individual application. College essays can range anywhere from 50 to 800 words. There are two main types of college essays: personal statements and supplemental essays.
College Essay Example #1: The Itch. This Common App personal statement was accepted into Stanford University. Common App Prompt #7: Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design. (250-650 words) Personal Statement.
Below, we provide some student samples that exhibit the key features the most popular genres. When reading through these essays, we recommend paying attention to their. 1. Structure (How many paragraphs are there? Does the author use headers?) 2. Argument (Is the author pointing out a problem, and/or proposing a solution?) 3.
Smith College. Each year, Smith asks its applicants to answer a different prompt with a 200-word essay. Here are six of these short essays answering the 2014 prompt: "Tell us about the best gift you've ever given or received." 6 "best gift" essays from the class of 2018. You really can find everything at the library.
Essay writing process. The writing process of preparation, writing, and revisions applies to every essay or paper, but the time and effort spent on each stage depends on the type of essay.. For example, if you've been assigned a five-paragraph expository essay for a high school class, you'll probably spend the most time on the writing stage; for a college-level argumentative essay, on the ...
Table of contents. Essay 1: Sharing an identity or background through a montage. Essay 2: Overcoming a challenge, a sports injury narrative. Essay 3: Showing the influence of an important person or thing. Other interesting articles. Frequently asked questions about college application essays.
First things first, this Common App essay is well-written. This student is definitely showing the admissions officers her ability to articulate her points beautifully and creatively. It starts with vivid images like that of the "rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge ...
College essay example #6. This student was admitted to UC Berkeley. (Suggested reading: How to Get Into UC Berkeley and How to Write Great UC Essays) The phenomenon of interdependency, man depending on man for survival, has shaped centuries of human civilization.
How to write an essay. Your essay needs a thesis statement. The essay-writing process. Essay structure. Know your essay's audience. 6 types of essays. Essay writing tips. How to write an essay. The basic steps for how to write an essay are: Generate ideas and pick a type of essay to write. Outline your essay paragraph by paragraph.
This page gives plentiful examples of good to great thesis statements, and offers questions to ask yourself when formulating a thesis statement. How to Write Body Paragraphs ... This nearly 200-page packet, compiled by the LearningExpress Skill Builder in Focus Writing Team, is stuffed with writing prompts, example essays, and commentary.
5. Write clearly. An essay that makes good, evidence-supported points will only receive a high grade if it is written clearly. Clarity is produced through careful revision and editing, which can turn a good essay into an excellent one. When you edit your essay, try to view it with fresh eyes - almost as if someone else had written it.
Step 2: Have a clear structure. Think about this while you're planning: your essay is like an argument or a speech. It needs to have a logical structure, with all your points coming together to answer the question. Start with the basics! It's best to choose a few major points which will become your main paragraphs.
Check out Episode 2: The Essay, in which a student gets feedback in real time on their essay from a former Princeton director of admissions and a panel of experts talk about essay dos and don'ts. The episode is 26 minutes long. The College Essay Trap: Rescue Your College Application Essay From the "Maybe" Pile.
Prioritize using "I" statements to highlight your perspective. Write within your vocabulary range to maintain an authentic voice. Write concisely, and use the active voice to keep a fast pace. Follow grammar rules (unless you have valid stylistic reasons for breaking them).
Clear Purpose: An academic essay is written with a clear purpose, often to argue a point, present an analysis, or discuss a research finding. The purpose guides the structure and content of the essay. Structured Format: It follows a structured format with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Step 2: Pick one of the things you wrote down, flip your paper over, and write it at the top of your paper, like this: This is your thread, or a potential thread. Step 3: Underneath what you wrote down, name 5-6 values you could connect to this. These will serve as the beads of your essay.
Sometimes a good example of what you are trying to achieve is worth a 1000 words of advice! When you are asked to write an essay, try to find some samples (models) of similar writing and learn to observe the craft of the writer. You can use the samples as a basis for working out how to write in the correct style. About sample essays
Free Persuasive Essay Examples to Help you Get Started. There are many different kinds of essays, and a persuasive essay is one of them. When writing one, you will have to maintain a certain kind of voice and style throughout the essay. We know that it could be difficult for you to adapt to a certain tone and maintain it throughout the essay.
Tricks for sentence writing. A high-quality essay is composed of high-quality sentences. This page focuses on rules for writing complete sentences that flow together to create a well written academic piece. Tricks for sentence writing. Common errors in structure.
Next, click Start Assignment and begin the writing sample using Microsoft Word. If you don't have Microsoft Word, use the text box provided. Be sure to format paragraphs accordingly. Get Your Results. Once you have submitted your writing sample, our English faculty will grade the essay and send the score to your advisor in 24-48 hours.
Table of contents. Step 1: Hook your reader. Step 2: Give background information. Step 3: Present your thesis statement. Step 4: Map your essay's structure. Step 5: Check and revise. More examples of essay introductions. Other interesting articles. Frequently asked questions about the essay introduction.
Write an organized and concise essay. You shouldn't have much more than 650 words, and your ideas should be put forth logically. Use simple, clear, and to-the-point language free from unnecessary jargon or technical terms. Examples of Strong Common App Essay Topics. Here are some examples of strong Common App Essay topics from past pre-med ...
Essay Example: So, sex education, huh? It's one of those topics that always seems to get people talking, doesn't it? ... Good sex ed does more than just cover the health stuff. It also helps kids grow as people by teaching them about consent, respect, and healthy relationships. With all the talk these days about sexual harassment and assault ...
The basic structure of an essay always consists of an introduction, a body, and a conclusion. But for many students, the most difficult part of structuring an essay is deciding how to organize information within the body. This article provides useful templates and tips to help you outline your essay, make decisions about your structure, and ...
Essay Example: Introduction Writing a good personal statement is super important if you wanna get into criminal justice. These statements give you a chance to show why you're interested, what you've been through, and what you wanna do in the future. It's a way to tell your story that goes beyond. Writing Service;